Rhia1978
Aug 1, 2011, 05:48 PM
Hi there,
I am a bit confused so please pardon if my words are a bit jumbled up and I ramble on. I’ve been seeing this guy for the past month. I really like him and he seems to like me too. We have only been on 3 dates but things have progressed very fast. We got intimate on our 2nd date. I was having a boardgames night at my place that night and since one of my friends asked me to invite him so we had an extra player, I did so during our date. He agreed and that’s how he stayed over the night. It was unplanned. Another close girlfriend of mine stayed over too. She’s far older than us and is having an extra marital affair with a married man. Everyone loved him and especially my girlfriend who spent a lot of time chatting to him. She called him ‘delightful’.
We exchanged texts during the week – he was lovely to me. The following Friday I had asked him if he wanted to hang out with another bunch of friends. He was immediately ready. He wanted to meet a bit earlier to spend time with me and I agreed. We had a wonderful night – once again all my friends liked him. Not one negative word about him. He would frequently touch my backside and I would lean over to kiss him. One of my closest friends told me he told her he found me ‘amazing’. We had decided beforehand that he’d come back to my place. All along the way he was very affectionate. I told him I liked him…told him I didn’t want him to leave the country. He’s on a visa which expires next May. He said he didn’t either and I know from before that he really wants to stay here. We had a lovely night once again. The next morning I made him breaky and was expecting him to hang around but he left in a little bit of a hurry. That took me by surprise and I texted him a bit later to tell him that I missed him. I know this is a faux pas but I was just being honest. I am hopeless at games.
This is the first time I have fallen for a guy at first sight and to watch him interacting with my friends has been a big turn on.
I didn’t hear back from him on Saturday or on Sunday. I got very anxious. I spoke to my girlfriend who had met him on the boardgames night. Now this girlfriend has an affinity of thinking her friend’s boyfriends take a liking to her. Anyway while I thought he had been affectionate towards her, she said there was ‘chemistry’ between them, that he offered to make her breakfast the morning after and that he opened up much more to her since he felt comfortable. He also did tell her that he found me very ‘attractive’ and ‘fascinating’. These bits of information took me by surprise and has really confused me. Earlier she was very encouraging towards him but now she’s saying this. She told me that we wanted different things and maybe I wasn’t ‘interesting’ enough for him. Two other friends have told me not to listen to her – too many cooks spoil the broth I know.
After a terrible day y’day (Monday) I finally couldn’t hold on anymore and texted him asking him how he is. He answered 3 hours later – ‘Am grand. U?’. I didn’t answer then but did so today morning – ‘Am good :))’. I am not expecting an answer – maybe I am expecting the worst.
This is where I need your help please. He was normally always very quick to answer to my texts – he’s the one who asked me out and persisted. Now he took 3 hours to respond y’day and didn’t even answer to the one on Saturday where I told him I missed him. I feel a lot for him and feel a bit crushed and numb. I know he’s started a new job and hates it. I know he normally starts getting his act together around Wednesday/Thursday – ish.
The sex hasn’t been that great – maybe because we’ve been mostly tipsy or hungover – a trend I know we have to break. He doesn’t engage in much foreplay – something he even said once ‘talk about no foreplay’. Maybe just something we need to work out. Last time he stayed over he wouldn’t cuddle me after sex….’you can cuddle me’ he said. We are not very adventurous in bed – again I attribute that to the alcohol and the newness of our ‘relationship’.
What I am hoping is that you can give me a neutral perspective and tell me if I am making a mountain of a molehill or there are red flags here. And what should I do?
His text has been non-committal. Where he normally asks me out – he has said nothing this time – no plans made ahead. He left my place in a rush the last time even though I made a few sad faces when he was leaving. I did the mistake of telling him I missed him afterwards. My friend tells me the only reason he’s meeting my friends is to network – not because he wants to invest in me. And then this silence with the texts. Should I forget him and move on? Or is this typical male behaviour – I have been told they are notoriously slow with their texts. But am I making excuses here – is he just not that into me – to quote the movie?
Oh and if this is at all relevant – he’s a Cancerian.
Really, really need your help – am feeling very confused.
Thanks in advance.
I am a bit confused so please pardon if my words are a bit jumbled up and I ramble on. I’ve been seeing this guy for the past month. I really like him and he seems to like me too. We have only been on 3 dates but things have progressed very fast. We got intimate on our 2nd date. I was having a boardgames night at my place that night and since one of my friends asked me to invite him so we had an extra player, I did so during our date. He agreed and that’s how he stayed over the night. It was unplanned. Another close girlfriend of mine stayed over too. She’s far older than us and is having an extra marital affair with a married man. Everyone loved him and especially my girlfriend who spent a lot of time chatting to him. She called him ‘delightful’.
We exchanged texts during the week – he was lovely to me. The following Friday I had asked him if he wanted to hang out with another bunch of friends. He was immediately ready. He wanted to meet a bit earlier to spend time with me and I agreed. We had a wonderful night – once again all my friends liked him. Not one negative word about him. He would frequently touch my backside and I would lean over to kiss him. One of my closest friends told me he told her he found me ‘amazing’. We had decided beforehand that he’d come back to my place. All along the way he was very affectionate. I told him I liked him…told him I didn’t want him to leave the country. He’s on a visa which expires next May. He said he didn’t either and I know from before that he really wants to stay here. We had a lovely night once again. The next morning I made him breaky and was expecting him to hang around but he left in a little bit of a hurry. That took me by surprise and I texted him a bit later to tell him that I missed him. I know this is a faux pas but I was just being honest. I am hopeless at games.
This is the first time I have fallen for a guy at first sight and to watch him interacting with my friends has been a big turn on.
I didn’t hear back from him on Saturday or on Sunday. I got very anxious. I spoke to my girlfriend who had met him on the boardgames night. Now this girlfriend has an affinity of thinking her friend’s boyfriends take a liking to her. Anyway while I thought he had been affectionate towards her, she said there was ‘chemistry’ between them, that he offered to make her breakfast the morning after and that he opened up much more to her since he felt comfortable. He also did tell her that he found me very ‘attractive’ and ‘fascinating’. These bits of information took me by surprise and has really confused me. Earlier she was very encouraging towards him but now she’s saying this. She told me that we wanted different things and maybe I wasn’t ‘interesting’ enough for him. Two other friends have told me not to listen to her – too many cooks spoil the broth I know.
After a terrible day y’day (Monday) I finally couldn’t hold on anymore and texted him asking him how he is. He answered 3 hours later – ‘Am grand. U?’. I didn’t answer then but did so today morning – ‘Am good :))’. I am not expecting an answer – maybe I am expecting the worst.
This is where I need your help please. He was normally always very quick to answer to my texts – he’s the one who asked me out and persisted. Now he took 3 hours to respond y’day and didn’t even answer to the one on Saturday where I told him I missed him. I feel a lot for him and feel a bit crushed and numb. I know he’s started a new job and hates it. I know he normally starts getting his act together around Wednesday/Thursday – ish.
The sex hasn’t been that great – maybe because we’ve been mostly tipsy or hungover – a trend I know we have to break. He doesn’t engage in much foreplay – something he even said once ‘talk about no foreplay’. Maybe just something we need to work out. Last time he stayed over he wouldn’t cuddle me after sex….’you can cuddle me’ he said. We are not very adventurous in bed – again I attribute that to the alcohol and the newness of our ‘relationship’.
What I am hoping is that you can give me a neutral perspective and tell me if I am making a mountain of a molehill or there are red flags here. And what should I do?
His text has been non-committal. Where he normally asks me out – he has said nothing this time – no plans made ahead. He left my place in a rush the last time even though I made a few sad faces when he was leaving. I did the mistake of telling him I missed him afterwards. My friend tells me the only reason he’s meeting my friends is to network – not because he wants to invest in me. And then this silence with the texts. Should I forget him and move on? Or is this typical male behaviour – I have been told they are notoriously slow with their texts. But am I making excuses here – is he just not that into me – to quote the movie?
Oh and if this is at all relevant – he’s a Cancerian.
Really, really need your help – am feeling very confused.
Thanks in advance.