If anybody could help me with my situation I would appreciate it so much. I've never hurt so bad in my life nor been so frightened about anything. First off I am 26 and my ex is 24, we dated through college for just over 3 years but we constantly breaking up and getting back together, the relationship was terribly dramatic and I absolutely could not stand it. I loved her, and still do love her, so much though. About a year into the relationship I found myself becoming interested in other girls and I became something I never thought I would be. I started breaking up with her to see how it would be to date other girls. She started going through my phone and emails and finding out I was seeing other people, and the arguments were terrible. So the on and off would continue, as would the me seeing other people. I just wanted a relationship were I was so happy in the relationship that I did not want to date anybody else, but after all of the petty arguments we were having I lost that feeling with her. After graduating she still had a year left in Arizona and I moved from Arizona to California. We were having problems in Arizona before I left for California so I knew the long distance was going to be terrible. I broke up with her before leaving, even moved out of our house into an apartment in Arizona even know I was leaving in two months. I couldn't live without her though so after about a week we got back together. By the way, this is so out of my character, and hers. We were both extremely stoic before we met each other, then our hearts went through the blender. I'm in California now and she's still in Arizona, I'm waking up in the morning in panic, with anxiety, I'm crying everyday. But I don't want to keep getting together we her then breaking up. I definitely don't want to have her move to California to be with me then break up with her again. If I commit one more time to her it is marriage, because I would have to prove to her that this time I know for sure it can work. She has always been there for me, would do anything for me. When we lived in Arizona and I broke up with her she would not let me go, shed follow me away crying, begging me to give her another chance, promising that the petty arguments would stop. But the petty arguments kept on, and now I was finding that I was deeply in love with a girl, but for some reason just was not satisfied with the relationship. She's applying to graduate schools soon and I am pursuing acting right now in Los Angeles. Again, if I commit to her this time it is her moving out here to be with me and us getting married. I just don't know why I can not live with out her, it's like losing oxygen, I panic. I am up and down every day, crying at one point, and being happy and confident at another point, this happens everyday... Does anybody have any advice on this situation?

Yes, you need to talk to a therapist to sort out your feelings BEFORE you hurt this woman again. You CAN - and have - been living without her.

By the way, getting married to someone is not a way of proving the relationship will last. If it's no good single it will be worse married.

On again/off again relationships are a disaster. You live and learn. I'm going to be honest. If she were on here explaining the situation and asking if she should get back together with you, I would say don't do it.

I let someone break my heart twice. That was sufficient. If two people truly love each other and want to be together, I don't think they would constantly break up, they would have disagreements and work through them, not break up. If you get married would you get divorced and remarried all the time?

The only thing that I can say is forget about it and forget about her I had the same problem as you I steel miss her but I know that if I bring her back it will be the same you should go out more often and apriciate things that you had left now eventually she will forget you trust me and then you will end up crying even more the sadnes and hapines are part of our life don't panic life is beatuful all you got to do is live it create an image of yourself being with someone you like a girl that will make you happy hold thet thought in your mind and you will see everything will come in order because there is a saying a wolf onlu changes his hair never the karakter ;) bringing back your girlfriend will be the same you'll be nervous she will be nervous this better for the both of you if the time says that your meant for each other eventually will bond you if your not then it was never meant to be my best regards my friend :D