Hi my name is Les I am a mom of 2 childre but my youngust is 15months and he is such a cry baby. I am at the point that I can't take it any more. He is a momma's boy that's OK but when he doesn't get his way he throwws himself on the floor and wacks his head on what ever is closest. I am afraid he is going 2 kill himself the other day my daughter was sick and had to go to the hospital and while there I told my son he can not pull the nurses hair and in front of the nurse and I he through himself off the bed and hit his head on the floor. And he still has the lunp and bruse. I don't know what to do and he also throws things at his sister and hits her and pulls his hair I tried time out but it don't work. I don't believe in spankings because I was always spanked and beaten as a child. I am so stressed out and need some advice anyone have any sugestions on how to keep him from hurting his self. And disapline him

Good for you for looking for answers to his behaviour. I would be too if he were my son. Also good for you that you know how his behaviour is affecting you, your daughter, and your son.

It's time to get him in to see the Doctor. 15 month old's cannot tell you that they are in pain, or understand enough about their own anatomy to know that it's 'just a tummy ache' or 'just a headache'. They know hurt and respond to it. He could in other words, have something physically wrong with him that is not apparent or obvious. It may not have anything to do with behaviour and discipline whatsoever.

Until you know why he is behaving the way he is, whether it be physically, or behaviourally, only then will you be able to address how to go about dealing with it. Maybe he is allergic to milk or milk products, you just don't know.

It is hard when you are in the thick of it, and see behaviour with no seemingly good cause to explain it. The odd temper tantrum over not getting a cookie is one thing, but the behaviour you describe that is continuous, to me at least, needs to be assessed.

Good for you for looking for answers to his behaviour. I would be too if he were my son. Also good for you that you know how his behaviour is affecting you, your daughter, and your son.

It's time to get him in to see the Doctor. 15 month old's cannot tell you that they are in pain, or understand enough about their own anatomy to know that it's 'just a tummy ache' or 'just a headache'. They know hurt and respond to it. He could in other words, have something physically wrong with him that is not apparent or obvious. It may not have anything to do with behaviour and discipline whatsoever.

Until you know why he is behaving the way he is, whether it be physically, or behaviourally, only then will you be able to address how to go about dealing with it. Maybe he is allergic to milk or milk products, you just don't know.

It is hard when you are in the thick of it, and see behaviour with no seemingly good cause to explain it. The odd temper tantrum over not getting a cookie is one thing, but the behaviour you describe that is continuous, to me at least, needs to be assessed.




The only time he really acts out and bangs his head is If his father or I tell him NO. once that maggic word comes out everything goes to hell. What my main concern is that he will hurt himself cause he will hit his head on tile floor,dressers,any thing around him. I asked his dr. and he told me it was normal in this stage of his life. I don't know my daughter had tempertantrums but not like this. He is smatter than most kids his age because his sister is in nursry school and sings her abc's and he can say a-q already and count to 4or 5 and that is not bad for a 15 month old my daughter was no where near as verbal as him at 15 months she barley said 4 words. I just would love to know what is going on with my little boy and how to handle it.

The only time he really acts out and bangs his head is If his father or I tell him NO.

Perhaps do your best not to say no, and find other ways to "say" that word. For instance, silently and physically move him -- pick him up and put him away from whatever he was doing. Sing a little song ("Row, row, row your boat"?) while you move him. Be careful with facial expressions and body language. Smile even when you are correcting him. Make being corrected a "pleasant" and positive event rather than a punitive one. Play with him building towers out of blocks, rolling little cars and trucks around on the floor (with accompanying "Rrrrrr"s), go for walks and count houses or cars and talk about colors and shapes that you see. Have fun with him and keep him thinking.

Just a helpful word of advice, at this age he doesn't understand the words, but (and I'm not accusing you, I don't know if you have or not) but don't use phrases like 'he is such a cry baby' in front of him. It can lead to worse problems. Believe me I completely understand where you are coming from, I have thought to myself sometimes 'man my daughter is such a jerk sometimes! " its fine to say things that we don't mean in frustration when our children are NOT around, just remmeber NEVER do it when he IS around even at this age.


Other than that, wondergirl and jake2008 said all that needed to be said :) good luck!

just a helpful word of advice, at this age he doesnt understand the words, but (and im not accusing you, i dont know if you have or not) but dont use phrases like 'he is such a cry baby' in front of him. it can lead to worse problems. believe me i completely understand where you are comming from, i have thought to myself sometimes 'man my daughter is such a jerk sometimes!!" its fine to say things that we dont mean in frustration when our children are NOT around, just remmeber NEVER do it when he IS around even at this age.


other than that, wondergirl and jake2008 said all that needed to be said :) good luck!

I never saaid it to him directly but when he has been asleep and in another room I told people how I felt about the baby's actions I know he can't get his way I just don't want to have him hurt his self because I said no.

Let me see what happened to a swat on the rear and telling them to be quiet.

You stop him from doing physcial harm and let him know that acting out will be punished

I just dont want to have him hurt his self because I said no.
Don't say no. Like I said earlier, move your body to walk over and remove him from doing things you don't want him to do (instead of yelling at him or scolding him). Think of clever ways to divert him -- with singing, whispering, telling a story, clapping your hands merrily, snapping your fingers. You want to move his attention from doing A Bad Thing toward doing A Good Thing.

let me see what happened to a swat on the rear and telling them to be quiet.
That will only make things worse.

You stop him from doing physcial harm and let him know that acting out will be punished
He's too young to be reasoned with.

That will only make things worse.

He's too young to be reasoned with.

A lot of times I try to distract him by telling him lets go watch you favorite show or etc. or start singing the abc's because it is his favorite song but for some reason my 3yr old influnces him what ever she does wrong he will follow I tried putting him in the baby gate that has padding under it but of course my 3yr old taught him how to climb it and jump it. I have been trying to encourege him to play with his toys rather than playing with thing he shouldn't be but somehow his sister always ends up with the toy and he is on the floor having a fit or she is screaming cause he has a death grip on her hair I am at my wits end. Will taking him to play counceling help at this age.

will taking him to play counceling help at this age.
I don't understand. What is this?

Sorry, bull, a swat to the rear is the best thing a parent can do to show a child real love, it never hurts the child, and will end all of that silly tantrum mess

sorry, bull, a swat to the rear is the best thing a parent can do to show a child real love, it never hurts the child, and will end all of that silly tantrum mess
Sorry to disagree. It's beginning to sound like her three-year-old needs the swat, not the fifteen-month-old.

Sorry to disagree. It's beginning to sound like her three-year-old needs the swat, not the fifteen-month-old.

I don't believe in spanking for childre yet on the other had my husband will spank our 3yr old on the butt when she is not listening or incourges her brother to do the wrong things he always gives her warnings first but I am going to try what you said and move him out the situation and smile while doing so to ensure and protect him from danger if that does not work do you have any other sugestions.

do you have any other sugestions.
I found out with my first child that swatting and spanking don't work. I was just trying to point out that your 3 y/o may be more of a little stinker than the toddler.

Are you anywhere near a library? There are tons of books on parenting. Some of them are very helpful for dealing with the "terrible twos" which might be what your little boy is getting into. My friend's grandson is the same age and calls his daddy "Papa" and his mommy "No No."

Look at this page --

18 Ways to Say No Positively | Dr. Sears Official Website | Parenting Advice, Parenting Books & more (http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/18-ways-say-no-positively)

If all else fails, I may have to come to your house and be a volunteer nanny for a month or two. :)

I found out with my first child that swatting and spanking don't work. I was just trying to point out that your 3 y/o may be more of a little stinker than the toddler.

Are you anywhere near a library? There are tons of books on parenting. Some of them are very helpful for dealing with the "terrible twos" which might be what your little boy is getting into. My friend's grandson is the same age and calls his daddy "Papa" and his mommy "No No."

Look at this page --

18 Ways to Say No Positively | Dr. Sears Official Website | Parenting Advice, Parenting Books & more (http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/18-ways-say-no-positively)

If all else fails, I may have to come to your house and be a volunteer nanny for a month or two. :)

Thanks lol my 2 are like the kids you see on super nanny or nanny 911 I am going nut can't wait till they grow out of this stage

I'm on the fence about the spankings. On one hand, my niece and nephew have both responded to it well (2 warnings then a smart swat on the butt) but the swats do not start until 2 years old. Before that they just can't make the desired connection between the bad behavior and the spank. (this is not to say you can't teach a child under 2, just that they will not understand spanking as a consequence)

However I also believe (because of my own daughter, myself, and other childrne I have known) for some children it simply makes it 100 times worse to spank, and positive reinforcement, redirections, and simply ignoring (not rewarding with action of any kind) the bad behavior.


The bottom line is, you MUST find out what works for YOUR children, and both of your children may be different. I don't find anything wrong with spankings, but it is not effective for some children. And I don't find anything wrong with 100% passive parenting (no discaplin, child led home, severe attachment parenting) but it is not right for some kids.

Try different things, and see what YOUR children respond to best.

But I DO advise against spankings for your 15 month old, outside of possibly a swat to the hand if he reaches for something hot or dangerous. He just isn't ready to make the connection yet.

I do not believe that a 15 month old is doing all these things. Is it an excuse of all these falling on heads and everything else to cover up what might really be going on? 15 month old, there is no reason for any kind of spanking. To distract with TV is poor parenting and it sounds like there is horrible parenting anyway. This post sounds to me like it is not the children that need help. It is the parents that need the counseling on how to be better parents. Without using physical or emotional means to carry this out. If it were me, with all these falling on head moments apparently on purpose from a 15 month old would be investigated by child services.

Then again I could be completely wrong but that is what I am getting from all these posts.

I do not believe that a 15 month old is doing all these things. Is it an excuse of all these falling on heads and everything else to cover up what might really be going on? 15 month old, there is no reason for any kind of spanking. To distract with tv is poor parenting and it sounds like there is horrible parenting anyway. This post sounds to me like it is not the children that need help. It is the parents that need the counseling on how to be better parents. Without using physical or emotional means to carry this out. If it were me, with all these falling on head moments apparently on purpose from a 15 month old would be investigated by child services.

Then again I could be completely wrong but that is what I am getting from all these posts.

First of you have no right assuming anything. 2nd if you eve had a child in your life you would no when children have fits they do what ever it takes to get what they want whether kick bite slap bang there heads. It does not matter ans long as they get there way. Especially if they are spoiled like my kids. And you would be surprised what a 15month old can do when they are influnced by there older siblings. Another thing my 15month old has never been spanked I am strongly against it. So don't even speak if you first off don't read what was said properly. I would never hurt any of my children and My son did bang his head on purpose because he didn't get his way. I can't stand when people without kids assume what other kids do or do not do.

if they are spoiled like my kids

Maybe that is part of the problem. On the nanny TV shows, the nanny teaches the parents (not the children).

I can't stand when people without kids assume what other kids do or do not do.

Jesushelper is a father, and, from what I know, a very good one.

First of you have no right assuming anything. 2nd if u eve had a child in your life you would no when children have fits they do what ever it takes to get what they want wether kick bite slap bang there heads. it does not matter ans long as they get there way. especialy if they are spoiled like my kids. and you would be suprised what a 15month old can do when they are influnced by there older siblings. Another thing my 15month old has never been spanked I am strongly agains it. So dont even speak if you first off dont read what was said properly. I would never hurt any of my children and My son did bang his head on purpose because he didnt get his way. I can't stand when people without kids assume what other kids do or do not do.

Your words, HE THROWS HIMSELF ON THE FLOOR AND HITS HIS HEAD ON WHATEVER IS CLOSEST. That is so suspect to me. I have a child, and he is close to five years old. He is awesome and doing well. You have a major attitude problem. I read carefully everything you wrote and answered appropiately. So you have quite the nerve telling me not to speak, I am answering according to what has been written by you. The issue here is lousy parenting, and in order for you guys to become better parents you need to admit your faults. Seek counseling and parenting classes to learn how to better deal with these circumstances and be willing to change your parenting styles. I do hope that you get some visitors in your home. So they can observe and watch and see how things are going.

Your words, HE THROWS HIMSELF ON THE FLOOR AND HITS HIS HEAD ON WHATEVER IS CLOSEST. That is so suspect to me. I have a child, and he is close to five years old. He is awesome and doing well. You have a major attitude problem. I read carefully everything you wrote and answered appropiately. So you have quite the nerve telling me not to speak, I am answering according to what has been written by you. The issue here is lousy parenting, and in order for you guys to become better parents you need to admit your faults. Seek counseling and parenting classes to learn how to better deal with these circumstances and be willing to change your parenting styles. I do hope that you get some vistors in your home. So they can observe and watch and see how things are going.

What ever you say when he threw himself on the floor in front of the nurse at the hospital that was prooof enogh to every one including the doctors that he has sever tempertantrums and is not abused by us and he never will be abused by us. So are you trying to say if your son falls and hurts himself you should have child protective services called on you if your son gets hurt you must not be a good father to him other wise the situation (god forbid) never happened . W/E

he has sever tempertantrums
What do you do when he has one?

(My younger brother began having tantrums when he was born, and even before he could walk, would scream and cry and pound his head on the floor until his forehead was bright red.)

No one has said that you abuse him. We're only saying that your parenting style is leading to this behavior. Before you ask, I do have kids, two of them.

You said that when he bangs his head on the floor you either distract him with TV, or sing to him. He's 15 months old. You're rewarding his behavior.

Have you ever tried just ignoring him? Walk out of the room when he has a fit. Don't talk to him, don't look at him. Nothing. Just pretend he's not there.

He wants a reaction. When you stop reacting, he'll realize that what he's doing won't get him any attention, and he'll stop doing it.

What do you do when he has one?

(My younger brother began having tantrums when he was born, and even before he could walk, would scream and cry and pound his head on the floor until his forehead was bright red.)

I usually pick him up and lay him on a soft surface other wise he will head butt me so I put him on a soft surface and sit with him until he get over his fit the I will let him go and play with his sister or sometimes I will go and lay him in his crib for time out until he can control himself

What did you do with him when he had the tantrum in the hospital, or what if you are in a public place?

No one has said that you abuse him. We're only saying that your parenting style is leading to this behavior. Before you ask, I do have kids, two of them.

You said that when he bangs his head on the floor you either distract him with tv, or sing to him. He's 15 months old. You're rewarding his behavior.

Have you ever tried just ignoring him? Walk out of the room when he has a fit. Don't talk to him, don't look at him. Nothing. Just pretend he's not there.

He wants a reaction. When you stop reacting, he'll realize that what he's doing won't get him any attention, and he'll stop doing it.

Im just afraid if I ignore him he will end up cracking his head open and/or just cause real harm to himself. I tried ignoring him but he screams louder I understand I am rewarding his negative behavior I just don't want to see him in pain. My frieds son had fits likke my son and banged his head on the wrong thing and ended up in the hospital with 20 stiches.

What did you do with him when he had the tantrum in the hospital, or what if you are in a public place?

We take him out side if we are in a store or something but in the hospial the nurse ran and got him ice because his forehead turned black and blue on inpact and got swolled right away

Im just afraid if I ignore him he will end up cracking his head open and/or just cause real harm to himself. I tried ignoring him but he screams louder
No, don't ignore him. Some years ago when I was taking a child development course, we discussed using weighted blankets or just child-sized fleece blankets and wrapping the tantruming child in one, like in a cocoon. Here's a site I found that talks about that (and sells them, but any fleecy blanket should work) -- Benefits of Using a Weighted Blanket (http://affordableweightedblankets.com/benefits.aspx)

When I was in the hospital two years ago and was very cold, a nurse wrapped a heavy, pre-warmed blanket around me, and oh man, did that feel good -- secure and safe! So maybe the blanket-wrapping would work for your son. Don't fling it on him, but hold it open in front of him and tell him sweetly what you want to do, maybe sing a blanket song (make one up?). Or even better, do some dry runs when he is in a good mood, so he knows what the blanket is for, that you will "cocoon" him and how good it will feel. Then hold him and rock him.

Just saying that you need counseling and guidance on being better parents. Not one time did I mention abuse, but that is what your conclusion came too. There are many programs out there for parents, new and old alike. They make home visits. They guide and teach and observe and recommend on how to approve and commend you on what you are doing well.

1) Counseling for parents, check. Are you willing?
2) Home visitors from different programs that will help and guide you in better parenting choices and styles. Are you willing?
3) Change in attitude and approach is very important here.

Babies and toddlers and kids falls, they hurt themselves but never once have my son ever did anything so called on purpose. 15 months is kind of young to be CONTROLLING YOUR CHILD. Control is not a good word to use, and you used it.

So I suggest you re read through all your posts and also re read through all of your answers and be open to change or your going to continue having problems with your children.