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View Full Version : How to stop attention - seeking?


panda888
Jul 20, 2011, 04:18 PM
Hello all. Ever since I was a young kid, like, before 10 years old, I looked back on my life, and realized that I always needed attention. I have a loving family, and very loving friends, however, I have some mental health issues that I believe I always had. I want to be a normal person, that doesn't need to seek attention. I read about someone on here who as well has the same problem as me, thinking of farfetched ideas and horrible thoughts to get attention from people. It kills me inside knowing I am like this, I hate this. I don't want to be this way, but I don't know where to even begin. However, I may be a chronic attention seeker, but I do not fake illnesses and go to the hospital and/or doctors for attention, and I am not like this one girl I know who fakes miscarriages for attention, but I do do some attention seeking behavior that I need to get rid of. I am also a recovering addict, so a part of me is also thinking that I may be addicted to negative attention. I like being comforted, and having people feel bad for me, stupid stuff like that, that I desperately want to change. I've been terrified to bring this up in therapy, because I am afraid of being "judged" or considered a "bad person" for being this way. I do not have Muchausen Syndrome, because I do not fake illnesses, or purposely make myself ill, but I am a hypochondriac, which is much different. I'm reading about it now, and I don't purposely injure myself. "People with Munchausen syndrome may be well aware of the risk of injury or even death as a result of the self-harm they seek" That is also not me. So I don't think that is my problem. My attention seeking is not that severe, but it's enough to bother me. So, I am just wondering how to break away from this! Thank you

joypulv
Jul 20, 2011, 05:05 PM
Talk therapy, with an individual if you can afford it or have insurance, or a group - or both.

WAIT - you ARE in therapy! What the heck? You are afraid to bring up all your good theories with a therapist? For fear of being judged? Is there even the tiniest hint that your therapist is a judging type of person? Now you are going to have to spend several sessions just on that topic. Get started.

It's good that you 'see' your behavior and recognize it for what it is. You may be a wee bit overdoing the concern with what your diagnoses are. They are in their pigeonholes for one purpose: insurance. Most people's problems overlap, and well as come and go. What matters is behavior, pure and simple, and what effect it has on you and other people.

I notice many people who seek attention through indirect means such as hypochondria are intelligent people who have the curse of having to be one step ahead of their pain. You are clever. You have worked out ways to cover up your lack of self worth without whining and being depressed, which you know will just make people uncomfortable. Finding self worth from within isn't easy for most of us. You could adopt the sickest dog or cat in the pound, and watch as he or she gets better and lavishes you with love. There are many ways to get outside of yourself. But start also with that therapy you are wasting good time on!

Fr_Chuck
Jul 20, 2011, 07:37 PM
My wife and I had to go to about three counselors before we found one we liked and could talk to.

If you are not being totally open and honest with your therapist you are wasting your time, their time and your money.

But attention and desire for it, is common, to what extent we go to get it, is another reason.

It is why children behave badly, to get attention if they don't feel they are getting it other ways.

Often it may be an issue that you don't realise the attention, since you wish to get it a certain way, and others give in, in their way.

Kristen00
Nov 16, 2011, 11:18 AM
You SHOULD bring it up in therapy... a therapist can only help you if you're completely honest, even when things are embarrassing. It's important to get the help you need!

tandrima123
Apr 13, 2012, 05:58 AM
Try to find out what is the root cause of your attention seeking... maybe some demons of the past ,some experiences you have not yet got over.close your eyes... replay those incdents and turn it back the way you wanted them to happen

tandrima123
Apr 13, 2012, 05:59 AM
Also find out the triggers that spur you towards this attention seeking behavior