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View Full Version : Confused by this girl.


thedude82
Jun 22, 2011, 07:16 PM
Threads merged

Ok, so I have been talking to this girl since march. We hit it off right away and I could tell she liked me a lot. At first I didn't really like her like that but I liked spending time with her. She is fun to hang with. Well now I am starting to like her, haha. I kind of told her that I wasn't looking for a relationship and I am unstable. This is before I liked her. She did cry that night. The reason I told her this is because she got accepted into Berkeley and was thinking of not going and heading to uci instead. She kind of said she was happy here and kind of hinting at me. I told her she needs to do what's best for her future and go to Berkeley.

Anyway she is going to Berkeley now and we have move passed that day. We still hang out and all that. I can still tell she likes me a lot too but lately it just doesn't feel the same. This last week it feels different. I feel like she isn't telling me the truth sometimes which I hate liars. I am not sure if she is lying but my gut tells me differently. We also rarely have sex or makeout like we use to. And if we do I am usually the one trying to have sex.

Here is an example. Last night we were both tired and didn't have any energy to do it. She said we can always have morning sex. I was like hell yea we can, in my mind lol. So next morning she slept in and I had to get to work. I work from home. She stayed in my bed all morning watching TV. I made us lunch then after lunch I took my shorts off to put on my gym shorts and she looked at me and said wooohoo. So I thought it was on and said time to cuddle.. then she looks at me and goes no I have to study I have a test on Monday.. she doesn't have a test until Monday and she is going to vegas all weekend. And she had like 4 more hours left of studying until she had to go to class. It just seems like she isn't interested anymore. Plus the night before I told her lets hangout thurs night before you go to vegas.. she goes well I kind of told my roommate I will clean up some stuff or something like that. So later on I told her hey you can crash her after class tomm too if you want. Today when she left to class she goes can I leave my dog here while in class. I go sure that's OK. Then she is like I will come back after class then I have to go home. I was like OK..

Its funny once I started to like her it feels she is starting to not like me.. but its strange she is like planning things in the future with me still. Like she is saying hey next fri you want to go to my friends dads birthday with me. And before I move can I stay at your place for a week with you.

My situation now is she is going to vegas this weekend and didn't invite me. She is staying at her best friend place up there that her parents own. Which they will not be there. She said she would invite me but its not her place to do that. I know that but she is your best friend and I am cool with her I don't think she will mind ( I didn't say that but thought that in my head).. I don't think she would care if she asked. Anyway she also said she just wants to go out there to relax and lay by the pool and stuff.. who goes to vegas to relax? And its edc weekend. She said she isn't going but I don't believe her at all. Her best friend loves techno music and on Facebook they were talking about tickets.

I am honestly thinking about pulling the ignore or distant card on her and just tell her things aren't going to work. She is also going to Berkeley in August so it will be long distance. About 5 hours away. She said she will come back here every two weeks and wants me to come up there. I highly doubt she will do that.

Do you think I should be worried she is going to vegas and do you think something is up? Or am I overreacting? Or should I just end this now. I am a nice guy so I won't be mean and just end it nicely. Its been stressing me out the last few days and I don't have time to stress out. Sorry for all the typing.

Alty
Jun 22, 2011, 09:43 PM
What's there to end? You two are sex buddies, you drew that line from the beginning.

If you two aren't dating then she doesn't have to invite you to anything. There's no commitment, it's just sex.

Maybe she's tired of just being your sex buddy. She obviously wanted more in the beginning, but settle for just sex. It sounds like that's getting old for her.

thedude82
Jun 22, 2011, 11:17 PM
Thanks for the response. I don't think she thinks we are just sex buddies though. She wouldn't just have sex with me if it wasn't going to lead to anything more serious. We had a little minor fight and I said something about not being in a relationship and she was like what and got mad at me for saying that. I told her I didn't mean it like that and that I like you. Girls are confusing to read and understand. And so are us guys especially me lol..

Anyway she came back over tonight after class and she was really sweet. Kissing me and stuff. I was kind of playing it cool like I didn't care too much. We talked about her going to vegas and I asked her a few questions and she seemed to be telling the truth and I told her I trust her. And I just know dudes will be all over you because you are sexy and stuff but I trust you.. haha. I said that in a joking way. Then I basically told her I am sorry being like this but I haven't liked a girl in 3 yrs and I like you and she said I like you too. And she said she is coming over tomm night which I didn't aspect. I told her to have fun in vegas and ill see you when you get back.. she was like what we aren't hanging out tomm? Haha.

So I think I was over reacting a little. Not use to liking a girl in a while.. been on the dating scene to long.

miss_a90
Jul 1, 2011, 05:22 AM
Girls are very strange beings, take it from me haha.
From what you've said and the examples you've given, it doesn't sound like she's stopped liking you at all, it just sounds like she's more comfortable with you because she now knows you like her too. When you didn't really like her, she will have tried really hard to show you how much she liked you because she was interested, but now you're in a relationship she doesn't need to (and to be honest shouldn't have to) prove this to you.
And about the weekend in vegas, she probably said it's not her place to ask so she wouldn't offend you. The truth is that she probably wants a weekend away with her friend, but didn't want to bad news to seem like it had come from her so made out it was her friend who had a problem with it. She was doing this so to not hurt your feelings, which is a good thing. And the fact that she doesn't want you to come isn't a bad thing either and it doesn't mean that she'd going to cheat on you or anything, it probably just means she wants a girly weekend. Imagine if your mate invited you to a lads weekend in vegas, you wouldn't use it to cheat on your girlfriend or anything like that, you'd use the weekend to have a laugh with your friend, but at the same time it would be awkward if you were the lad who brought your girlfriend along, so you can't blame her for thinking the same.

As for the long distance thing, that's just something you're going to have to figure out. You've still got a few months yet, and by the time she leaves the relationship may have come to a natural end anyway, or you may have got much closer as a couple. To be honest, if you're still together by then, you might as well try the long distance thing because it seems silly to not give it a go. At least if you try, you might end up together reallyhappy, whereas if you break up before she leaves then you'll definitely not end up together, so you might as well try.

Best advice is to not read too much into things, and don't try playing games like being distant or ignoring her because that really might backfire and to be honest, life isn't a rehearsal. You only get once chance at life and playing games could ruin something that has the potential to be a great thing in your life.

Good luck!

thedude82
Jul 13, 2011, 08:09 PM
Ok so this girl tells me she is a little self conscious and insecure about her self. And that I may have more experience in the bedroom than her. The reason this came up is we were talking about our sex life. Anyway I am confused by this because she does have a few sexy pics of her on her Facebook and a few pics of her that she took herself. That make me think she isn't insecure at all. Nothing too crazy. She does have one with like panty or underwear on and a thing going around her boobs. Not a normal pic. Haha. She also has her **** pierced, nipples pierced, and snake bites on her lips. But she isn't too wild in bed at all.

So I am guessing she is insecure around me. I have no clue and I feel like she is lying to me. She just doesn't seem like that type.

Woodpecker4444
Jul 14, 2011, 04:05 AM
A lot of girls are insecure that's why every time you compliment a girl (in a non creepy way) they love you for
It.
Juts because she's got slutty pictures of her self online doesn't mean that she's secure about her sex skills but that's OK, spot lights on you and it's your time to shine. Go get her!

I wish
Jul 14, 2011, 07:22 AM
Whether you have a friends with benefits relationship or a real relationship, from what you told us, it doesn't seem very clear because neither of you really had the serious talk.

The fact that she feels insecure about herself means that you're going to have to have multiple serious talks before getting on the same page.

If you feel so strongly about her, then you should be able to answer all the difficult questions.

I would say, sit each other down and start talking more seriously about your relationship and your exepctations of each other to see how far apart you guys are from one another.

thedude82
Jul 14, 2011, 09:17 AM
Thanks for the answers people.. appreciate it..