I was recently with a man I went to school with. We were together long distance for 6 months, we spoke on the phone 3 times a day for hours and one of us travelled every single weekend. It's taken this long for the kids to be really comfortable around each other which is a big thing for my daughter, she is so shy. We planned, right down to the last detail to move in together, because I live in a very isolated area with few friends an family, and because his parents, mt parents and my eldest daughters father lives where he is, I would move there. We looked at rentals all the time. I'm pretty much living in poverty, I have dial up internet and only one channel on TV, we have nothing. We were going to move and both of us would earn an income, we would have a nice house and a new car and we would actually live like a normal family. My eldest couldn't wait, she doesn't have anything, no iPod, no mobile no nothing. Marcus treated me like gold, I'd never been treated so well in my life by anyone, I got a good morning message every morning for 6 months, he spoilt me and my girls.

The problem was my little ones father lives here and I'd have to legally fight to be able to move her away from him. I applied for legal aid back in March and it's been nothing but waiting. I had to wait to get it approved then I had to wait for a date to have mediation with her dad. Nothing was happening so I pushed and pushed and I changed my solicitor to someone who would help me move it along faster. I had one child starting high school next year and the other starting big school and I wanted to be up there and settled before then.

Finally I got a call from my new solicitor and said mediation would be in 2 weeks I was so damn excited Iv'e waited so long. I went up there last weekend (just gone) and had a great weekend, he had found a nice rental home and drove my daughters and I to see it, and then on Monday I came home and that's when it all turned bad. At around 5pm my soliciotr rang me and told me he'd been looking into it over the weekend and that my best chance to go would be now, in the school holidays, before mediation. If I'm already up there it would be hard for him to get me back because at the moment there are no orders. He said if I wait her father can stop me from going. He said "ring your boyfriend tonight and talk to him and ring me back in the morning" he was so pushy.

I tried to call him in a bit of a panic and texted him but he was out to dinner with his daughter, I didn't know that and he got the ****s with my persistence. I didn't get hold of him. The next morning, which was Tuesday I didn't get my good morning message so I sent one, he said "don't even bother with me today I've got the ****s. You ruined dinner with my daughter last night and I want the day off" I told him I needed to speak to him urgently but all day he just wouldn't answer his phone. I became really angry and we finally did speak but it was a horrendous fight where he hung up. I ended up texting him what the solicitor said but got no answer.

Then the solicitor rang and hounded me asking if I'd spoken to him yet. Eventually I spoke to him Wednesday morning and he said 'let's just have some space and see what happens, right now I don't think you should go to mediation, this is just sucking the fun out of everything'. He said the move was making me crazy and he no longer wants to live with me. He even changed his relationship status on Facebook within the hour to single.

Last night I couldn't take the uncertainty anymore, especially given the legal twist, so I asked him if he was still thinking about it or if he's made up his mind and he answered that he has made up his mind and was sorry things came to this. Is it really possible to fall out of love this quickly? He has an enormous amount of pride.

I have mediation on Tuesday, I have no idea what I'm going to say when I get there. And my daughter can't believe that her life here is going to stay the same after all. I cannot financially afford to move alone.

Last Friday before I left to go see him I got this message "I love you so much missy :-) can't wait to see you, hurry up and get here", which is nothing out of the ordinary I always felt assured of his love for me.

I thought I erased all the swearing out my question, I apologise.

A couple of things I forgot to mention... the night I received the text saying he'd made up his mind, I replied with can I talk to you one last time to say goodbye and are you OK?" He said "I'm not ready to talk, sorry, I'm OK I just need to get my head around it." Promising? Or not?

He might be thinking that you are carrying all the burden from your past onto your future where he is in it. He seems to be angry at the thought of it and is tired of it. Your situation seems financially terrible, and I would suggest this: He seems to be having something in his mind, have you tried telling him sorry for the problem created by you (actually not, but these words would help), and ask him what does he wants you to do.

I have apologised time and time again, I have admitted my wrong in that I did get carried away with it all and was way too focused on my mission, I explained that it was a mum thing, I wanted to give my girls a better future but I should have let things run their course and just enjoyed him. I have told him I loved him and that after Tuesday, when I have a better idea of my life's direction, I will be more clear headed. He has said nothing to any of it.Iv'e no idea what he's thinking or feeling. I have now stopped all contact, it's been 2 days since he's heard from me. I won't contact him again but it doesn't ease my pain or confusion.

I also did ask "what do I do on Tuesday?" ( at mediation) to which he replied "that's up to you".

Chitra73, please calm down. Tough things will happen, but they are followed by good things. Looks like this is a peculiar but not uncommon case, and he does loves you, but he has forgot to see things from your point of view. He will get back to you if he really loves you. Stopping contacts is a good idea, also tell him about the pain and suffering you are going through (tell him that he knows it better than anyone).

I strongly advise that you and your ex finish handling your business and not count on this fellow saving the day for you after only 6 months of a long distance relationship. Sounds good now, as its filled you with hope, but pretty obvious he is hardly gung ho, or sold on the idea of having rushing into having an instant family, as well as his own to deal with on an everyday basis.

I have to agree with those feelings as it's a big difference having a girl friend with kids, and having a live in girlfriend with kids. Sorry I don't see making that kind of life changing decision after 6 months of dating.

Slow down, slow way down, and handle your business first, there is more at stake than just the kids having an iPod. I think it's a lousy idea to stake your future on any guy, without being independent yourself.

Gosh ipods certainly don't matter to my OR my daughter! She wants nothing because that's what she's used to getting. I simply used that to illustrate our financial position at present and to give you an idea of the level of excitement this move caused her. I do agree with the above, I sincerely do. But it isn't until after the damage that Iv'e come to realise this. My question is how to mend the damage now. I have admitted my wrongs and I am deeply resentful. I can see it for what it was now, rushing. But I do still love him and I do want him back. I believe I was very foolish to even consider the solicitors advice and in hindsight it must have given him a huge scare. We were not ready for me to go now. We were thinking December at the earliest. And he was just as enthusiastic, actually if not MORE so, than I about it.

Handle your business with the ex, keep talking with the new guy, and see what happens. No hurry, do it right, and you won't regret your decisions, and have time to make the right adjustments for yourself as you go.