I recently broke up with my boyfriend. Im 19 years old and I've been dating him since I was a sophomore in high school. Hes a very sweet guy but he tends to joke a lot. Im the type of person that takes a lot of things seriously so I'm not really a fan of his jokes. Anyhow lately I've been getting tired about his negative thoughts. We've been together for a while and all he does is tell me "I dont know if im going to be with you in the future". I honestly hate whenever he says that because it makes me believe that whatever he thinks might just come true. I never asked him to promise me the world. I just wanted him to take our relationship seriously and focus on the pressence. But his jokes and negativity really got to me the other day. He always tells me that he loves me. Hes really a good guy.

The other day I got so fustrated with him because he said he's scared that he might change, that he might start to like other girls and that I shouldn't make him promise my mom that he's going to marry me some day. He tells me that he's scared of changing and that he doesn't want to hurt me. Hes been saying this for a while, and I've always thought he was just stupid and crazy.

But today when we were in the church service, some girl just kept on staring at him and it annoyed me. He even smiled back at her. I got really jealous and upset. When I got home I told him I was so tired of his jokes and negativity. I told him I couldn't take it anymore and I started to cry. I told him that he crushed all of my future dreams. I want to get married and have a family. I know I'm young but Im scared of being alone. He's my first love, Ive given him everything and I really don't want to loose him. I told him that I wasn't going to beg him anymore. I told him I wasn't going to tell him to stop thinking the way he does.. I wasn't going to fuss at him anymore. Maybe if I stop taking his jokes seriously, Our relationship would just get better. But after what he did today in church,. just reallly brought my hopes down. I told that it hurt me to see him stare and smile at her. And he said it was the first time he ever did that. He also said " you see I told you I could change, I really dont want to hurt you Kathy".

I just cried even harder and told him I was done. And he tried to grab my hand but I wouldn't let him. He turned around on my bed and started to cry. Then he began to apoligize and tried to caress me. I fought so hard but he was way stronger than me so I ended up in his arms. I didn't want to believe the fact that we we were already separated. He said that it was the best thing to do. He told me "Let me suffer, let me realize how much I need you and Ill be with you again. But for now were going to be friends". He told me that he would return only if I wait for him. I said OK.. but I honestly feel bad.

Its not complete break up.. Im guessing its just a little break. We need our space and he needs it more than I do. Point is I'm really scared. I don't want to loose him. He says that if everything works fine he'll come back. He said most likely h will because he loves me. But I'm honestly scared because I've never broken up with him. I never even had a little break. Please help me. What should I do during the meantime?? Were normally always together because he lives right next me. Is there anyway I can prevent myself from losing him??

I'm trying my best to manage this situation as perfectly as I can but right now my heart is broken. Im sad. I miss him, Im not use to all of this. As you can see.. this situation creeps me out because of the simple fact that I might just end up losing the love of my life. Give me any suggestions. I'll take them all into consideration. Oh and plenty of advice! Please, I would really apreciate it. Thanks..

Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for advice on how to handle a break up.

Leave him to his space and start living your own life doing your own thing.

Allow yourself to feel heartbroken but realise that the sadness will fade,day by day.

I think you really need to take this as an opportunity to find ways to make yourself happy without him. Sometime when we love so hard and hold that love to tightly, we smother it.

I don't know if he will return soon, or miss you, but he does need space to explore himself, without you, and you need it more than he does.

Friends, and family, and activities you enjoy are what you need, and him living next door won't be easy but you both need to balance your lives with other things besides each other, just so you can grow as people.

Further your education, and getting a job should be high on your to do list.