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View Full Version : What is wrong with him. Is it all my fault why his being like this?


crystal232
Jul 3, 2011, 01:40 AM
So been with boyfriend for 6 weeks. We have constant communication, regulary meet up and he takes me out a lot too. He is the same age as me 23 but he wasn't born in uk he has been here for 4 years.

I really like him a lot but he can have these radom werd outbusts. Last night he hads his second one .Radonly while in car with him heading towards town he started saying "oh you been out with 4 men in past thats alot, i dont think you stay with men long you just play them around, its ok i dont care look for another while with me me." I was so hurt over this most men in past were just just abusive, contolling and just didn't care. I don't like talking about ex boyfreinds but as he saying this to me yet again for the 4th time since I known him I had explain to him how they treated me.

He said he doesn't trust girls as last girl he was with for a year cheated on him and it hurts he is tarnishing me with the same brush. He constantly says to me you don't like me, you ashamed of me that he thinks he is ugly, I tell him he isn't that there is nothing wrong with him. He says his joking after must always say these when I do meet him and isn't funny and I tell him but again he repeats it. Ok english isn't his first language but when he says these things his very clear. Last night after his outbust when took me out I looked in mirror he said you acting like a kid..

I ask him do you to be with me as when you say these things I feel like your pushing me away. He says am happy with you etc. but I done nothing wrong. This in turn makes me feel so bad. I really like him a lot and explain to him you shouldn't say these things but he only go and repeat himself. I don't know what's wrong with him but how can he says these things now and again and expect me to forget and change subject am fed up constantly explaining myself to him when he says these things. This morning when he dropped me home in car I said hurt what said last night he said don't stress me. Am not angry with you. I feel like this my fault am doing something wrong.

redhed35
Jul 3, 2011, 02:47 AM
He's needy and insecure, I would'nt waste another second on this guy, you will only spend the time together playing nurse maid to his insecurities.

Run away!

I've read your other posts, perhaps if you decide to dump the current guy you could take some time for yourself, find out about you, do fun stuff with your friends without the stress of needy men sucking you dry and making you feel like crap, the only thing your doing wrong is putting up with this behaviour, this is his problem, not yours.

talaniman
Jul 3, 2011, 08:03 AM
You seem to jump have jumped very fast from one abusive relationship to another one. I think its time to realize that you need a nice long healing period to recover, and find out why you keep choosing these guys with such big issues. You really need to know for yourself why you latch onto such unhealthy men so often, so fast, and so deeply.

HurtScorpio
Jul 9, 2011, 03:37 PM
This man sounds like he needs therapy NOW. He was hurt bad in the past which is not your issue to resolve but he is going to do nothing but bring you more nnegative than positive. Explain to him that you need to figure out things for yourself before you enter another relationship and suggest that he go to therapy himself. I see that maybe you are going from one similar relationship to another for a few resons and they are that you are used to being treated this way and probably would not know how to react to being treated well. You may even look for a chaotic relationship again as that is where you are comfortable and also you are probably afraid of being alone. But, that is the best thing for you at this point. Until you seek some assist like therapy to learn to love yourself, you are unable to truly love another and that is why you will let others abuse you as you do not value yourself. Please get out of this craziness.