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View Full Version : What to do? Lost and confused!


bk757
Jun 23, 2011, 05:00 AM
Me and this woman, were not together. We use to date but, were just friends but, she knows how I feel about her and, I know how she feels about me. Her friend suggested that she dates, and see what's out there so, she does but, she says she still love me.

Well one day she got another dudes phone number in front of me and, I guess I walked away to fast because, I was a little hurt and, she got mad and, didn't talk to me for a day. Well we started talking again and, she brought up some old stuff about us chilling and, another female called and I answered and, I told the girl she was just a friend. I pointed out she did the same with the guy she got the number from and, again she got mad and cussed me out saying, I never loved her so, I got mad, said my peace, and stopped texting.

Then I get a flood of "I'm sorry, I love you" text. I forgave. Well she doesn't know where she wants to be. We've discussed it many times. Her friends say she should be with me and, even though she acts like it and, says things, she's still dating, she doesn't know if she should be with me or, find something out there. She wants me to wait for her until she decides. I suggested I date but, she gets mad at that idea. I don't know what to do, I'm confused on what's going on.


Edited/T

redhed35
Jun 23, 2011, 05:30 AM
Your confused? I'm a little confused too, but how in ever, she does not know what she wants,this blowing hot and cold will wreak your head, do you really need this? Is she worth this headache and drama?

There are plenty of women out there who want the same things you do, who won't mess you around.

Walk away, start no contact, stop being her emotional mop, and stop doing this to yourself.

Get rid of her from your life, it will end the confusion, you'll have a clear head and know what you want.

amicon
Jun 23, 2011, 06:15 AM
Sorry guy,end the confusion by having nothing more to do with the drama queen.

Don't wait around for someone else to decide what goes on in why o you are life.

bk757
Jun 23, 2011, 09:07 AM
She's been hurt by A LOT of guys and I understand why she's the way she is to a degree but I don't know if that has any bearing on the situation

Cat1864
Jun 23, 2011, 09:56 AM
Bk, please use punctuation. It would greatly help in understanding what you are trying to communicate.

It sounds to me like she is listening to conflicting advice if her friends are saying she should continue to date others but at the same time say she should be with you. She needs to step back from them and you and give herself a chance to think, heal, and actively begin moving forward with her romantic life.

You need to stop adding your part to the drama and the conflict. It isn't just her. You can make the choice to walk away at any time and probably should have a while ago. Why did you take a phone call from another female and refer to this one as 'just a friend' in front of her? Was it not thinking or trying to push her into making a decision? Then you get upset when she does the same thing. That is your drama.

It does not sound like you can be 'just friends' with her and she is unsure about what she wants. So why don't both of you agree to part as friends instead of slowly turning each other into something not so positive. Have no contact for awhile and do your own things. Hang out with other friends. Get involved in your own interests. Don't try so hard to keep the friendship going when it is only tearing it apart.

Take the pressure off that being around each other seems to be creating and let the confusion dissipate. You may find yourselves together again (after working any issues) or you may find other people who are better for you.

talaniman
Jun 23, 2011, 12:53 PM
Walk away, and leave the confused alone, to get unconfused.

Confusion is what you get when you presume, and assume, without talking, or listening.

Do your own thing, because then there will be no confusion, just getting over hurt feelings.

Renae_Cots
Jun 23, 2011, 09:13 PM
Seriously ask her straight out what she wants because you are sick and tired of waiting for her...
If she can't give you a valid answer then don't bother with her. The right girl is probably out there and you wouldn't even know it because your to busy wasting your time on someone who doesn't know what they want.

BK201
Jun 24, 2011, 03:34 AM
It is like wanting both. She wants you to be there for her until she wanders through the whole crowd of men. Tell her, you cannot act like a normal friend to her because you are in love with her. And tell her that you don't want to get hurt each time she dates someone, so if that's what she decides to do, you would stop seeing her.