How can my boyfriend adopt my baby?

First, ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

But most likely you will have to be married first. You will also need to get the agreement of the father.

I live in Ohio and the dad is not paying child support or on the certificate

First, when posting a follow-up question or info, please use the Answer options at the bottom of the page rather than the Comments.

Second, it doesn't matter whether the father is on the because or pays support. The court will require he be identified and he agree to the adoption.

There has to be a way around it

Again, please don't use the Comments feature to post follow-up.

If the father's whereabouts are unknown, you may be able to get by as long as you show a good faith effort to have contacted him. Under certain circumstances, like the father being a violent criminal, the courts may terminate his rights. But these are rarities. So it is unlikely you will get an adoption approved without the father's consent.

To add to what Scott said, in most places you must also be married for at least one year before adoption will take place.

So what do I do if he is only 18 drinks all the time does drugs and is dating a miner. He has put a kid in the hospital. He lives with his dad (who hits kids) and his bro at his moms house has been in and out of jail?

so what do i do if he ... is dating a miner ....

So what's wrong with dating people who dig precious metals out of the ground for a living? Snow White lived with seven of them, for goodness sake!

so what do i do if he is only 18 drinks all the time does drugs and is dating a miner. he has put a kid in the hospital. he lives with his dad (who hits kids) and his bro at his moms house has been in and out of jail?

I told you what you need to do. You should be going after him for Child Support. Even if you know you won't get anything out of him having a support order over his head may make him more agreeable to consenting to the adoption.

You will need a lawyer to prepare the adoption petition anyway. So start saving now and when you have been married the required amount of time, the lawyer will help you get his rights terminated, if possible.

I'm curious though. If he is only 18 how old are you? If you were underage when you conceived, he could be prosecuted for statutory rape.

how can my boyfriend adopt my baby?

Easy. You have to be married at least a year, and after that you have to beg the father politely to relinquish his rights.
If you may evade the law, you must remember that in the state of Ohio biological father has always superior rights against whoever would-to-be a father.
You cannot terminate his rights because he has never had them.

And second-be honest and tell your boyfriend that if he agrees to adoption then if you break up he will be obligated by law to pay 50 % of his income as alimony and child support next 18+ years.

As everyone else has noted, your boyfriend cannot adopt your baby. Your husband can with the consent of the biological father. Is there a support order for him to pay?

What do you mean, there has to be a way around it?

If there is, I'll be the first one to come and "find a way around" YOU keeping your rights. I mean, it's my word against yours, and I could just SAY that you drink alcohol, date minors, don't pay support for your child, are a bad influence, and I want to adopt your baby. So---I'll just get a lawyer and take your rights away without your consent because I want to, okay?

OF COURSE THERE'S NO WAY AROUND IT!

And besides---YOU had sex with the guy. What does that say about YOUR judgment in picking guys? And why would ANY court allow a lifetime legal commitment between your child and an unrelated guy (your boyfriend) when YOU haven't made a lifetime legal commitment to him (marriage)?

I'm betting you're 17, with your head in the clouds, and just don't like the reminder that you slept with a guy that didn't want to be a parent when you decided you wanted to be.

Get over it, grow up, and go to court for child support, for heaven's sake.

You are bad! -but so good! Bet BrM is going HUH?

I'm am 19. What is a support order?

im am 19. what is a support order?

You should file a petition with the court, asking that the biological father of your child be ordered to pay child support. Such an order would be called a support order.

So wait, you mention that he is not paying child support in one of your comments, and then ask what a support order is? Please do not continue to reproduce.

As my children always say : "That made my heart feel super happy!"

I came on here for help and some of you are acting like it's a crime I want my boyfriend who has been there for me since before I found out I was pregnant and I told him before we even started to date that I might be pregnant and he didn't care. The baby daddy won't even talk to me and sits there and says he is ganna take me to court to prove me as an unfit mom if I try and get him for child support and he called me a slut when I told him I was pregnant and said it was not his kid for two weeks and then every time we get in a fight or he don't get his way he sits there and says its not his so srry if I don't think he would be a good dad. And he was never like this till I got pregnant and he started dating a 14-15 yr old he has a bad temper and he hangs out w/ no one but druggys now that me and him broke up. So would you want your kid by some one like that.

i came on here for help and some of u r acting like its a crime i want my bf who has been there for me since b4 i found out i was pregnant and i told him b4 we even started to date that i might be pregnant and he didnt care. the baby daddy wont even talk to me and sits there and says he is ganna take me to court to prove me as an unfit mom if i try and get him for child support and he called me a slut when i told him i was prego and said it was not his kid for two weeks and then everytime we get in a fight or he dont get his way he sits there and says its not his so srry if i dont think he would be a good dad. and he was never like this till i got prego and he started dating a 14-15 yr old he has a bad temper and he hangs out w/ no one but druggys now that me and him broke up. so would u want ur kid by some one like that.

Wait a minute... No one is judging you. You asked a legal question and you got the answer.Sometimes the law is cold. It does not depend on how we think or etc.
But you CANNOT change the fact that he is the biological father of your child!

Another thing on the picture is that there is "Legal procedure" and no one is allowed to go around it.

Let me explain you the law in Ohio:


Chapter 3111: PARENTAGE
3111.02 Establishing parent and child relationship.

(A) The parent and child relationship between a child and the child's natural mother may be established by proof of her having given birth to the child or pursuant to sections 3111.01 to 3111.18 or 3111.20 to 3111.85 of the Revised Code. The parent and child relationship between a child and the natural father of the child may be established by an acknowledgment of paternity as provided in sections 3111.20 to 3111.35 of the Revised Code, and pursuant to sections 3111.01 to 3111.18 or 3111.38 to 3111.54 of the Revised Code. The parent and child relationship between a child and the adoptive parent of the child may be established by proof of adoption or pursuant to Chapter 3107. Of the Revised Code.


3111.04 Standing to bring paternity action.

(A) An action to determine the existence or nonexistence of the father and child relationship may be brought by the child or the child's personal representative, the child's mother or her personal representative, a man alleged or alleging himself to be the child's father, the child support enforcement agency of the county in which the child resides if the child's mother, father, or alleged father is a recipient of public assistance or of services under Title IV-D of the “Social Security Act,” 88 Stat. 2351 (1975), 42 U.S.C.A. 651, as amended, or the alleged father's personal representative.

(B) An agreement does not bar an action under this section.

3111.05 Statute of limitations.

An action to determine the existence or nonexistence of the father and child relationship may not be brought later than five years after the child reaches the age of eighteen. Neither section 3111.04 of the Revised Code nor this section extends the time within which a right of inheritance or a right to a succession may be asserted beyond the time provided by Chapter 2105. 2107. 2113. 2117. or 2123. Of the Revised Code.

According to the law the BF can assert his rights until the child reaches 23.

the baby daddy wont even talk to me and sits there and says he is ganna take me to court to prove me as an unfit mom if i try and get him for child support .

Smoke on the water!

So you having sex with a minor was okay, but him doing so is suddenly an issue for you? You didn't know these things about him when you has sex with him? A judge will ask you those things should you try to pursue sols custody or to stop visitation if he should try to seek it. YOUR BOYFRIEND CANNOT ADOPT. End of story. As I, and many other posters have said, your husband could adopt with permission from the father. Quite frankly, neither of you sound like you have the maturity to be parents.

The problem is that you got an answer to your question but you refused to accept it. You have to understand that in these cases both the mother and father have rights. And you have to deal with that fact.

So... when you get married and make a LEGAL commitment to your boyfriend, you MIGHT have a chance.

But again--why would a COURT say your boyfriend is okay to have a LIFELONG commitment to your child if YOU won't make a lifelong commitment to your boyfriend? GET MARRIED.

Second--you can't take parental rights away from someone just because you don't like them, or they won't pay support, or you want to forget that YOU were willing to have sex with someone that you now want to spit on. It doesn't work that way.

What you need to do is this:

1. Get a lawyer
2. Go to court and establish paternity, custody, and child support.
3. Get married.
4. Ask your ex to relinquish his rights so your HUSBAND can adopt.
5. If he says no, you can remind him that child support stops at the time of adoption.
6. If he still refuses, you are out of luck. You can't FORCE him to relinquish unless you can PROVE his is a danger to the child
7. If he agrees, you file adoption paperwork and go to court to have the ex's rights relinquished and your husband's adoption of your child finalized.

Somewhere in there, you should also go back to school so that you can learn how to spell words like "you" and "are" and "before". Otherwise you run the risk of looking like an idiot.

PS--what kind of person are YOU, really, if you know he is molesting a minor and you haven't called the police? Doesn't say much about YOUR character, either, lady.

...
6. If he still refuses, you are out of luck. You can't FORCE him to relinquish unless you can PROVE his is a danger to the child
...

Not quite accurate, in Ohio or a number of states. The father doesn't have to be a threat to the child. His consent can be dispensed with if he simply hasn't been there for the child:


"3107.07 Consent unnecessary.
Consent to adoption is not required of any of the following:

(A) A parent of a minor, when it is alleged in the adoption petition and the court , after proper service of notice and hearing, finds by clear and convincing evidence that the parent has failed without justifiable cause to provide more than de minimis contact with the minor or to provide for the maintenance and support of the minor as required by law or judicial decree for a period of at least one year immediately preceding either the filing of the adoption petition or the placement of the minor in the home of the petitioner.

(B) The putative father of a minor if either of the following applies:

(1) The putative father fails to register as the minor's putative father with the putative father registry established under section 3107.062 of the Revised Code not later than thirty days after the minor's birth;

(2) The court finds, after proper service of notice and hearing, that any of the following are the case:

(a) The putative father is not the father of the minor;

(b) The putative father has willfully abandoned or failed to care for and support the minor;

(c) The putative father has willfully abandoned the mother of the minor during her pregnancy and up to the time of her surrender of the minor, or the minor's placement in the home of the petitioner, whichever occurs first.

(C) Except as provided in section 3107.071 of the Revised Code, a parent who has entered into a voluntary permanent custody surrender agreement under division (B) of section 5103.15 of the Revised Code;
..." Lawriter - ORC - Chapter 3107: ADOPTION (http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/3107)

And I find it interesting that if he isn't on the Putative Father Resistry, it's even easier than I thought.

Not quite accurate, in Ohio or a number of states. The father doesn't have to be a threat to the child. His consent can be dispensed with if he simply hasn't been there for the child:
...............
And I find it interesting that if he isn't on the Putative Father Resistry, it's even easier than I thought.

I disagree.
1. The court will not terminate his rights only because he has never registered in PFR and keep in mind she is unmarried 19 yo.
The goal of TPR is adoption and I cannot see how a step-parent adoption may be applied in this case.

I disagree.
1. The court will not terminate his rights only because he has never registered in PFR. ...

As a part of the adoption process, he would have no rights to be terminated. His consent is not required:

"3107.01:
...
(H) “Putative father” means a man, including one under age eighteen, who may be a child's father and to whom all of the following apply:

(1) He is not married to the child's mother at the time of the child's conception or birth;

(2) He has not adopted the child;

(3) He has not been determined, prior to the date a petition to adopt the child is filed, to have a parent and child relationship with the child by a court proceeding pursuant to sections 3111.01 to 3111.18 of the Revised Code, a court proceeding in another state, an administrative agency proceeding pursuant to sections 3111.38 to 3111.54 of the Revised Code, or an administrative agency proceeding in another state;

(4) He has not acknowledged paternity of the child pursuant to sections 3111.21 to 3111.35 of the Revised Code."


i live in ohio and the dad is not payin child support or on the certificate

Of course BrandyM has not told us if paragraphs (3) or (4) of Subsection (H) apply, but I suspect that they may not.



... The goal of TPR is adoption and I cannot see how a step-parent adoption may be applied in this case.

Of course she would have to become a married 20-something, but assuming that were to happen, a step-parent adoption can occur.

what is a support order?

You really asked that? You complain that the father doesn't pay support but have you ever done anything to compel him to pay? Child support is ordered by a court. When parents split (or never get together) they generally go to court to establish custody and support. The court then orders custody, visitation and support.

Of course she would have to become a married 20-something, but assuming that were to happen, a step-parent adoption can occur.

Oooops... I did not read " I am going to get married...";)I read

how can my boyfriend adopt my baby?
Another thing is that the BF may assert his rights at any time without being registered until adoption process is commenced..
Even one of the States Supreme Court said that "As stated, the Putative Father Registry does not stand alone;a man must first satisfy the requirements set forth in the Putative Father Registry provisions of the Adoption Act in order to initiate an action to establish a parent-child relationship under the Parentage Act where no adoption is pending or contemplated—is contrary to the stated legislative purpose of both the Parentage Act and the Putative Father Registry provisions, to the plain language of the statutes, and to the sound social policy set forth in each enactment.... if we were to take those arguments to their logical conclusion—no biological father could ever bring a petition to establish a father-child relationship if he failed to register with the Putative Father Registry within 30 days of the child's birth. "

First off Synnen I no how to spell and I don't no if he is having sex with her. I do not talk to him and he won't talk to me even if I try to talk to him about the baby. And for the record he is 18 not younger then 18. And I'm 19 going to be 20 in oct

Praise God you "no" how to spell. "Than" not "then" you. BrandyM you have a long life ahead of you, but the way things are starting in your young life, the road will be long and difficult. I wish you well.

first off Synnen i no how to spell ...

Sur u du. En eur preetendin thet yew dount, rit?

Hadd mi fuled!

first off Synnen i no how to spell

If you do KNOW how to spell, yet continue to misspell words, I can only assume you are using text speak. This is not IMing or texting or chat. Using text speak is not allowed here. We type in full words and sentences.

first off Synnen i no how to spell and i dont no if he is havin sex with her. i do not talk to him and he wont talk to me even if i try to talk to him bout the baby. and for the record he is 18 not younger then 18. and im 19 goin to be 20 in oct

Yew dew? Eye m srprzd, because you shur didn't sho mi you could.

PS--if you're 19 now, and you've got a baby that's at LEAST a couple months old, he was 17 when you had sex with him.

That's underage, sweetie.

Maybe his mommy will press charges against you for statutory rape?

Either way, please stop being such a witch about it. If you want your boyfriend to adopt, I told you several posts ago what you need to do to have it happen. Sorry that you don't like the law that protects YOUR parental rights as well, but that's how life is.

PS--if you're 19 now, and you've got a baby that's at LEAST a couple months old, he was 17 when you had sex with him.

That's underage, sweetie.

Maybe his mommy will press charges against you for statutory rape?...

Huh? I believe the age of consent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America#Ohio) in Ohio is 16.

first off Synnen i no how to spell and i dont no if he is havin sex with her. i do not talk to him and he wont talk to me even if i try to talk to him bout the baby. and for the record he is 18 not younger then 18. and im 19 goin to be 20 in oct


Just reading through this - I wonder less about spelling and more about the ability to read and comprehend what has been explained to you.

That's about all I "no" on the subject -