I met this guy once, he was my best mates boyfriend,they both lived with me and my partner though I think I felt something for my friends man then. They had been split up for 2 years, when we really started talking and got really close, and became really good friends my friend had moved on, moved away with her new boyfriend. However my partner was my ex at this time, I will tell you a bit about him before I say any more.

He was a cheat, though most of the time he'd try and cheat he would fail cos I'd catch him before it got that far. To be honest it hasn't done me a lot of good now, we had been together on and off for 6 years all the time. Anyway, when me and this other guy got together, my ex got in the way, he stayed over wouldn't go home, he even sat on my kitchen floor with a knife to his wrist and said he;d kill himself if I wouldn't choose him, so when I got my new boyfriend to stay over as well, they both made me choose, but I couldn't, it was hard, I had my ex saying to me " give me till xmas to prove I've changed" begging me in tears though I wanted to be with this other guy. Till eventually just before christmas, the other guy said to me " he is the father of your children (we have 2) you should give it another go" I was gutted and heartbroken but I thought, " but why there is no point and i want to be with you" but sadly something held me back saying this I wonder if its because I wanted to respect his wishes. So he went off, but came back and said " unless there's something you wanna tell me "

I wanted to tell him I loved him, but again I couldn't and cried as he walked out the door. Then come new year I had to talk to someone, explain to them everything. And a friend advised me to text him saying, we should never contact again, or message each other, I need you to be OK with this as it is to help me get over you. So I did. He replied that's OK. A few months later I could not hold the silence any more, and we speak, though I feel like he rubs things in my face and what he felt was false, maybe it was. Maybe its another guy playing another game.

Today he hasn't spoken to me all week, so I asked to meet for a coffee, I am thinking now I should tell him that I love him always have and I think about him everyday still and that moment I let him go when I shouldn't have (even the thought of telling him this brings tears to my eyes) but I fear of the response. I wish I knew how he felt, I'm not even sure if its love or what for me either.

What do you guys think I'm so confused and a bit emotional right now =/

That is sad. Would like to know two things if I can be of any help.
1. How old are your kids?
2. What is the current situation between you and your kid's father i.e your partner?

The kids are 4 and 3, we are not together but we have a " sexual relationship" if it were and he stays over sometimes to help me out a bit.

No wonder you are so confused, because you and your ex are still in a relationship, yet you want someone else.

I smell dependence, and think you handle your business with the relationship with your ex(?), either stay in it, or get out of it. I think you should stop the sex, and overnights until you break the dependence, becoming INDEPENDENT, and get a proper healing for yourself, BEFORE you even consider being with someone else.

So leave the other guy alone until you get your own act together. Get your head in the right place so you don't jump from one dependent unhealthy relationship to another one. Sorry, but you make a lousy partner as you are and need to be in a healthy place yourself if you expect to be happy.

I realize this is easier said than done, but doing it the right way would be the way to go.

Yes indeed, I took in what you just said, did some research just now, and I came across "dependant personality disorder" and the description describes me perfectly and how I have lived my life. Some of the " causes" make a lot of sense as well. I guess that could be it.

I hope you use the info to get the right help to make yourself better, so you can make better decisions.

Good luck.

The kids are at a very young age, it won't be a problem. Had they been a little bit older, it would have been a different story. Do not leave you partner, just because you like the other guy. Also, I don't think you know the other guy in and out. What if things don't work out once to go to him? Will you be able to take it? You can leave your partner if things are not really working out. But that should be the only reason, not another guy.
And once you clear your head, you will be able to see things clearly. Be strong for your kids. Make a decision which won't make you regret in the future.