This is kind of a long story, so bear with me.

I met this girl in grad school, in the same program as me. We were both in long-term, long-distance, unfulfilling relationships. We clicked immediately more so than either of us had ever encountered with another person. Eventually our respective relationships fizzled. Mine ended badly, so it wasn't a problem. Hers ended on good terms, and they wanted to remain friends. A few days later (I know, bad idea) we just kind of fell in together. It was really great, but I was worried about her shifting right from a long-term relationship with her ex to a friendship, but she said it was fine.

Winter break came, and we went back to our hometowns. We wrote each other, talked to each other, etc. She met her ex while she was home, though, and it caused all these feelings to be stirred up. She thought it was just to be expected, but it did leave her a bit confused. I drove up to her town, picked her up, and we went back to school together.

Over the next semester, I basically end up living at her place. We spend pretty much every moment together. But she gets distant. She's depressed because she doesn't really like grad school, and she talks a lot about dropping out but she usually just pushes through and gets the work done. One night she tells me she needs space, and that we should cool things off. She thought we moved too fast after her break up. So we decide to only see each other on certain days of the week. But this quickly breaks down and I'm back at her place every night. Eventually she tells me that the issue is that she thinks she still has feelings for her ex, and that she's very confused. At one point, out of the blue, we break up for a week. But, as we are in the same program, we see each other every day. It's like nothing happened: she and I hang out at school, talking and flirting, etc. We talked once about how we both miss each other badly and how bad the situation is. Eventually I tell her that the whole thing is stupid, and that we should get back together. So we do. And it goes back to being great.

Summer comes up, and we're going back to our hometowns again. We spend an extra week at school, just to be with each other. It's a great week. I store some stuff at her apartment and drop her off at the airport. She kisses me deeply, and tells me that she loves me and will miss me.

A WEEK after we're apart, she breaks up with me because she's still in love with her ex, and can't be with me when she's in love with another person. I'm kind of stunned and just stumble through the conversation. It's been almost two weeks, and I have had no contact with her, and she hasn't tried to contact me. I have no idea if she's thrown herself back at him or not, but I got the feeling from our talk that she might be going down that road. Needless to say I'm very confused and hurt. It's hard to go from having someone as a constant companion to nothing. And next semester I'll have to see her everyday, and pick up all my stuff from her apartment which feels like my home out there. Any advice/insight?



Edited/T

You have to let it go-whatever her reasons are,she's broken up with you and you must start getting your own life back on track.

Stay with the no contact and when next semester rolls around be polite but distant if you're in the same space as her.

As for your stuff,maybe a friend could pick it up for you?

You are only confused because you have not acknowledged her need to heal and resolve her issues without your influence. Look guy you both were vulnerable after your break ups and jumping into a DOUBLE rebound relationship with each other seemed like such a great idea, but was NOT. Now she needs time and space to deal with all she has been through, and you sir would be well advised to let her by leaving her alone, and use the time wisely to deal with your own disappointment, and hurt.

You both are in need of a proper healing, that was stopped by two lonely hurt people latching onto each other for support, and comfort during a difficult time. That's over with, and its time for proper healing.

Sorry for your losses, but letting the dust settle completely while you both rebuild your lives apart is the best way to go. Then see what happens later. Maybe things will be better if you are both happy, and healthy when the time comes to meet again. Get busy, its sooner than you think.

Talaniman is right. Too soon for both of you. I've been there myself, and the best thing that you can do is to giver her space, continue with 'no contact', and if your paths should cross again, maybe you can restart fresh. But be weary if she returns so soon after another 'fresh' breakup with her guy. It may sound like a great idea, and no matter what she tells you (e.g. "It was always you..", "I couldn't stop thinking about you...") it's still a rebound, and she is looking for comfort where she knows she can get it. She needs time to heal. You need time to heal. Be careful, and stay strong!