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View Full Version : Maternal grandfather rights in an adoption?


pastorew
May 30, 2011, 06:25 PM
If my daughter is a minor and she wants to give her child up for adoption can I stop the adoption and adopt my grandchild. What if she tries to emancipate herself? I live in the state of New Jersey.

ScottGem
May 30, 2011, 06:31 PM
You can't stop an adoption. But you can offer to adopt.

Fr_Chuck
May 30, 2011, 06:50 PM
Agreed, you can file to adopt the child. So her and the bio father are both willing to sign over their rights to allow the adoption of the child.

pastorew
May 31, 2011, 05:06 AM
What if the 15yr old only wants to use an agency? Can I file in court stating that I want to adopt?

As a grandparent am I left in silence?

ScottGem
May 31, 2011, 07:26 AM
If it is a private agency you can apply to them. If it is a state agency you can let them know your interest. But yes, you are left out of this to a large extent.

Synnen
May 31, 2011, 07:58 AM
Nope.

YOU have no rights to that baby. In all matters regarding the welfare of that child, your daughter is already emancipated.

You cannot stop the adoption.

Frankly, my mother offered to adopt my child instead of me going through an agency too. Do you have ANY idea how weird that would be? Do you realize the emotional and mental reprecussions for your daughter to have her child raised as her sibling? What about how the family dynamics change when that happens--have you thought about how you and she would react to the child and each other if you were the one raising it? I can already see clashes with you demanding that she help with the child when part of the reason she is choosing adoption is because she does not feel able to do so.

YOU need to get some counseling to try to understand where your daughter is coming from, so that you can support her. This is the toughest choice she'll ever make, and she'll be dealing with the fallout from it for years to come. Having a supportive parent can make the difference between handling the decision well and teetering on depression and suicide.

Try talking to your daughter about her choice, with the expectation of trying to understand it from her point of view. If you go in trying to impose YOUR point of view--she's just going to shut you down and shut you out.

Believe me--I'm speaking from experience. You need to back off and realize that you need to focus on supporting your daughter, not keeping your grandchild.

kcomissiong
May 31, 2011, 08:15 AM
Brilliant!

joypulv
May 31, 2011, 09:02 AM
Truly one of the most thought provoking responses I've ever read on this site.