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View Full Version : Am I being emotionally abused by my parents?


gigiisme
May 28, 2011, 01:22 PM
Not sure if I am or not. I am 13 years old, and it seems like my mom is always yelling at me. I'm not perfect, I get A's, B's, and C's, and she seems somewhat OK with that. When she helps me with my homework, she gets really mad if I don't know an answer. Then she gets frustrated and leaves the room. If I ever forget to do a chore (I have quite a few) she gets really mad and yells at me. If I say the wrong thing anytime, she yells at me. My parents have quite of a bit of age difference too (not sure if this matters) my mom is 46, and my dad is 63. My dad has no job, and he can barely hear. He never helps me out, only my mom. I know parents should usually side with each other, but there is a limit. I tend to be very depressed, and because of this I have almost no friends. Whenever I try talking to anybody at school about it, they say my parents are just strict. But I think it's more then that. I feel worthless, and sometimes think about suicide (but would never do it) whenever I tell my mom this, she just yells and tells me to stop being silly. Whenever she is yelling at me and I cry, she just yells louder and tells me to shut up. I am an only child if that matters. Please, I want to know if I'm being emotionally abused.

JudyKayTee
May 28, 2011, 01:44 PM
I don't see anything to indicate that you are being emotionally abused. Abusive parents tell you you are fat, ugly, stupid, will never amount to anything, things along that line. It sounds like your mother is trying to help you with your homework and becoming increasingly frustrated (as you said). Do you need her help or could you give her a break? How are your grades?

It is not unusual to have a "lot" of chores or, unfortunately, to get "yelled" at by your parents.

I don't understand how your home situation keeps you from having friends at school unless your "abusive" home situation is all that you talk about.

When you tell your mother you are thinking about suicide I'm sure you frighten her and she doesn't know how to act. If you tell you are thinking about suicide but you really aren't, then you deserve to be yelled at. That is hardly a responsible thing to do.

If you believe you are being abused talk to a clergyperson, another adult relative, a teacher, a school counsellor. If you are being abused, of course, you could be removed from the home. Is that your ultimate goal?

You say your parents side with each other. How? You barely mention your father. If in fact Everything falls on your mother's shoulders she is probably overwhelmed, frightened, worried, upset. I think you need to understand her position a little bit better.

The other side of this is that 13 is a tough age - you're not an adult and you're hardly a child.

Have you considered discussing your depression and suicidal thoughts with a Doctor?

Wondergirl
May 28, 2011, 02:06 PM
Make yourself a cute chore chart each week with colored pens and stickers or graphics. Put it on the refrigerator. In the left column, print the name of each chore. Make seven columns to the right for each day of the week, and ask your mom to check off each chore when you do it each day. That way, your mom will know you care about your chores and are doing them. Here's a web site that sells printable chore charts --

Free Chore Charts | Free Chore Chart (http://www.chorecharts.com/Free-Charts-Charts.aspx)

Here's another site --

http://dltk-cards.com/chart/

Fr_Chuck
May 28, 2011, 02:33 PM
And some parents yell, I often yell if and when things are not done, because it works, and often other methods don't.

jenniepepsi
May 28, 2011, 04:16 PM
It does not sound like it. I am more concerned about YOU. You state you are depressed, and the fact that you feel others are always after you or yelling at you, tells me that it may be time to speak toyour doctor. If you are depressed, you are not handling it well alone and need help.

Good luck :)