My dad remarried many years ago and now his wife has him selling all his assets to be able to sink the money into their retirement home. He has a will written which gives me and my brother proper splits but I'm concerned because of prior cases of her sneaking money to her dead beat sons.
My question is, if all the assets are gone and the money is invested in the home they are in, if he passed away and all that's left is the dream home and property that it's on, is that completely hers until she's passes?

There's been way too many issues over the years. Money missing, deadbeat kids living for free.

FRUSTRATED!

My question is, if all the assets are gone and the money is invested in the home they are in, if he passed away and all thats left is the dream home and property that it's on, is that completely hers until she's passes?Hello Frustrated:

Probably. It really depends on how title is held. In any case, you're going to have to deal with the deadbeat sons sooner or later... They ARE going to inherit their mothers share of the house.

excon

My dad remarried many years ago and now his wife has him selling all his assets to be able to sink the money into their retirement home. He has a will written which gives me and my brother proper splits but I'm concerned because of prior cases of her sneaking money to her dead beat sons.
My question is, if all the assets are gone and the money is invested in the home they are in, if he passed away and all thats left is the dream home and property that it's on, is that completely hers until she's passes?

There's been way too many issues over the years. Money missing, deadbeat kids living for free.

FRUSTRATED!!


"Proper splits"? You father has no legal obligation to provide for you upon his death. He could, in theory, leave his estate to his cat.

Yes, in most instances if the Deed is held in joint names and he dies first, she inherits his share and the "whole" property is hers. She can then make arrangements to dispose of it according to her wishes upon her death - and that includes leaving her entire estate and all she inherited to her children.

It would appear that you have little use for her. I would, therefore, guess that she does not intend to make provisions for you in her Will. Legally, of course, you have no claim to her estate. You are not a blood child.

How are you aware that she sneaks money to her "deadbeat" children but your father either isn't aware of this or doesn't care?

If they have been married "many years" you won't have a legal argument that she has undue control over him upon his passing.

While a frustrating situation it is... these are his choices and legal ones at that.

Money isn't 'missing' unless your dad says it is.
And dreamy retirement homes are nothing out of the ordinary.
You can't talk about a will as being etched in stone as long as someone is alive. Surely you have heard about the deathbed changes to a will, whispering faintly to the lawyer. Sometimes it's the new young wife, sometimes a nurse he just met the week before. (Of course children sue over situations like that on the grounds of incompetence.)
I'm sorry that your father's wife is draining the piggy bank. But it happens to many, many people, and there's nothing you can do about it except talk yourself out of the old notion of birthright. Your dad's money, he gets to do what he wants.

Money isn't 'missing' unless your dad says it is.
And dreamy retirement homes are nothing out of the ordinary.
You can't talk about a will as being etched in stone as long as someone is alive. Surely you have heard about the deathbed changes to a will, whispering faintly to the lawyer. Sometimes it's the new young wife, sometimes a nurse he just met the week before. (Of course children sue over situations like that on the grounds of incompetence.)
I'm sorry that your father's wife is draining the piggy bank. But it happens to many, many people, and there's nothing you can do about it except talk yourself out of the old notion of birthright. Your dad's money, he gets to do what he wants.


Note that the stepmother (also known, apparently, as "his wife") has been married to the father for many years. This is no person who suddenly drifted into the father's life and talked him into changing his Will.

On behalf of all second wives everywhere - where does it say that after you've lived with a man for X years, prepared his meals, done his laundry, shared his bed, loved him unconditionally he dies and his children get their "proper distribution" which EXCLUDES you - ? I would guess that "his wife" has significantly contributed to the relationship.

I also wouldn't assume that the father had all the assets coming into the marriage and "his wife" was a pauper.

By law "his wife" is entitled to inherit. That varies by State.

My dad remarried many years ago Hello again, U:

There are OTHER possibilities here that haven't been discussed. I'm just throwing 'em out there. You say MANY years... How OLD is he? Is he COMPETENT? Does he have an attorney? Is she abusing him? Is she STEALING from him?

Rumors aren't enough.. You need hard FACTS. Do you have 'em?

excon

"Proper splits"? You father has no legal obligation to provide for you upon his death. He could, in theory, leave his estate to his cat. ...

Except of course for those living (or dying, actually) in Louisiana.

Thanks for all your responses. To answer a few questions, They've been married about 17 years. The stealing money theory comes from the lies of the deadbeat children who's mother claim's that they have jobs yet always seem to be home and driving new cars, having new clothes and lots of toys(boats, motorcycles, 4 wheelers). She's always told my dad they were working and paying for these things yet 1 has been in and out of prison several times and the other one following in his footsteps. We found out that one of them had a debit card link to the business acct and ran through at least 90K one year. The stories go on and on.
A lot of the assets being sold are properties that my dad had before their marriage.
It's not a matter of me thinking of what I'm supposed to get, it's more so the thought of these deadbeats getting even more after they've already swindled their way through it their whole life. It sucks to think that once everything is liquidated, I'll watch them all live happily ever after on my dads legacy. It sucks.

Your only option really is to make sure that your dad understands that it is important to do some estate planning now. Do this, of course, without badmouthing your step-siblings.

You mention a business account. So, other than the home, there are other assets, evidently.

And you still haven't said whether the home is owned jointly (with right of survivorship), in common, or in your dad's name.

The new property is in both their names. Once everything has been liquidated it will have been put further into the new property and I'm sure that any remaining capitol will be somehow filtered to the deadbeats in someway or another.

After 17 years of marriage I would expect him to leave most if not all of the estate ( and most likely change his will) to leave her the money. And honestly would not see anything wrong in it, it is his, he has been with her going on 20 years,

I could see how someone would see it that way. There's so many factors involved over the years. Way too many to list. I think what people have to realize is that there's blood relatives such as grandchildren that could benefit from things in the future. It's going to hurt to know that everything that we've been a part of with our father will vanish into something that she and her leaches will take at the end of it all.

Hire a lawyer or private investigator, if only to get the facts.
How can your father not know where that much money is disappearing to (boats, cars, not working, would take thousands a month). What if the prison terms were for drugs and the lavish lifestyle is from drug money?
I understand that you probably have a lot more evidence than you can write here. I might gather your siblings and go tell him exactly how you feel.

I could see how someone would see it that way. There's so many factors involved over the years. Way too many to list. I think what people have to realize is that there's blood relatives such as grandchildren that could benefit from things in the future. It's gonna hurt to know that everything that we've been a part of with our father will vanish into something that she and her leaches will take at the end of it all.


Benefit from the death of their father/grandfather?

I see nothing but bitterness and jealousy on your side. Your father owes you exactly nothing of a monetary nature. Nothing. I'm sure your stepmother is well aware of your feelings and attitude. She also has your father's ear. You are being foolish.

Maybe the "leaches" are there for him for other than monetary reasons. I'm not sure you are.

Hire a lawyer or private investigator, if only to get the facts.
How can your father not know where that much money is disappearing to (boats, cars, not working, would take thousands a month). What if the prison terms were for drugs and the lavish lifestyle is from drug money?
I understand that you probably have a lot more evidence than you can write here. I might gather your siblings and go tell him exactly how you feel.


Don't advise this. Unless the father is incompetent where and how the money goes/is going is meaningless. If the father is handing money to his stepchildren and watching them snort it unless the son can prove the father is incompetent it means nothing.

There is little financial info a PI can pull, other than credit reports. Unless there's an "in" at the bank it is impossible to pull specific account records. That's not a bad thing.

It's the father's life, the father's money. I see accusations and bitterness and jealousy - and a burning desire to collect what is "due" the OP.

I'm a second wife. I heard about "undue influence" when my late husband's Will was probated. Without going into detail I didn't know what the Will said. For that matter, my husband tore up and destroyed our "prenup." I never knew that until he died.

This "second wife" has lived with the father for 17 years, cooked his food, shared his bed, held his hand during bad times and good times. Unless the father is a complete dunce or held at gunpoint he could walk any time he's unhappy. Maybe he's not unhappy.

My husband knew EXACTLY what he was doing, who was "due" what and what was going to happen upon his death. I don't think anyone should "assume" that the OP is in this discussion for the benefit of the father. The OP wants what is "due" him.

Parents do NOT have a duty to provide for their children after their death. If OP doesn't believe me OP should check his State Laws.

I meant for the PI to investigate the deadbeats, not dad's finances.
I can appreciate both sides of this story, although I have not had a parent remarry, or been a second spouse myself.
I am still skeptical about the amount of money being siphoned off to the other children without dad knowing.
But we have all heard stories, often about the very rich, being taken for every penny by those not in the blood line, and often willingly. Then lawyers get paid a lot to argue what willingly means. Despite the right to leave your assets to whomever you choose, courts sometimes rule otherwise.

I do think it's OK to express concern over being duped. My elderly dad spends money on stuff that grieves me because he's being taken (financial newsletters and health supplements mainly) but I have never done anything to stop him. He enjoys it, end of story. Very soon he faces a decision about the very nice rehab facility he has been in for the last 2 weeks that won't soon be covered by Medicare. I can do just as good a job here at home, plus I miss him. Does that mean I am concerned about money? Sure. We'd have to get a reverse mortgage sooner rather than later. I've made it clear how I feel.

OP here feels his dad is being taken, with an extra dose of entitlement in the original question. Many of us have to admit that we have a combination of feelings about being duped, running out of money, and lavishing it on new people. If he were just having fun traveling around the world, that would not hurt like this does.

This has turned into a discussion rather than the facts of Family Law, so I'll stop.

Thank you all for your input. It's much appreciated. I've been dealing with this for many years and there's a lot of details that factor into my feeling's towards the situation. As some may have stated, yes, it is my fathers money and ultimately his decision. Jealousy, No, bitterness, Maybe so but it's bitterness based on what's gone on over the years and now to see things slowly going away falls right into the plan that me and my brother have talked about many times.
Thank you all for your responses. They've all been very thorough.

I meant for the PI to investigate the deadbeats, not dad's finances.
I can appreciate both sides of this story, although I have not had a parent remarry, or been a second spouse myself.
I am still skeptical about the amount of money being siphoned off to the other children without dad knowing.
But we have all heard stories, often about the very rich, being taken for every penny by those not in the blood line, and often willingly. Then lawyers get paid a lot to argue what willingly means. Despite the right to leave your assets to whomever you choose, courts sometimes rule otherwise.

I do think it's OK to express concern over being duped. My elderly dad spends money on stuff that grieves me because he's being taken (financial newsletters and health supplements mainly) but I have never done anything to stop him. He enjoys it, end of story. Very soon he faces a decision about the very nice rehab facility he has been in for the last 2 weeks that won't soon be covered by Medicare. I can do just as good a job here at home, plus I miss him. Does that mean I am concerned about money? Sure. We'd have to get a reverse mortgage sooner rather than later. I've made it clear how I feel.

OP here feels his dad is being taken, with an extra dose of entitlement in the original question. Many of us have to admit that we have a combination of feelings about being duped, running out of money, and lavishing it on new people. If he were just having fun traveling around the world, that would not hurt like this does.

This has turned into a discussion rather than the facts of Family Law, so I'll stop.


Don't stop. You do great research. Finding out the backgrounds of the "deadbeats" is meaningless. As I said, the father could leave his money to the cat if that's his choice. Maybe the "other" children are not worthy; maybe they are. Nothing in a background check is going to show undue influence. I understand your concerns with your father. I truly do. BUT imagine being the second wife for 17 years and having your husband's children concerned about what they are going to inherit when your husband dies.

If the father dies first this and leaves his estate to his wife (or any portion to his wife) that is hers to dispose of when she dies. I would gather things are not good between her and the OP and the father's other children. Why would she not take "care" of her children under these circumstances?

This woman didn't ride into the father's life yesterday. She's been there for 17 years!

Your situation is entirely different. You are the daughter, not the wife. I understand your concerns. I also understand my concerns.

I think what offends me - and it might just how I read this thread - is the OP's sense of "entitlement." If OP for whatever reason goes to Court and has his father declared incompetent (which is NOT going to happen) he still would have a run for his money because his father's wife (note: not his stepmother) is still alive and may very well have a P/A.

This situation saddens me on many levels. I have stepchildren from both of my marriages. I certainly hope they do not view me in these terms.

I agree with all you say JudyKayTee.
I'm not sure what research can be done in cases like this. I recall that 30 - 40 years ago, it was shockingly easy to have a parent declared incompetent, thrown into a nursing home, and will scrapped. Now it isn't, but cases do go on.
All children everywhere have to accept the fact that they are not entitled to a dime, yet this is a recent notion historically and not true throughout the world.
I do think though that it's natural to feel mixed feelings and recriminations in situations like this.
(The PI, even the lawyer, is to get facts for ease of mind. I'm suggesting that the amount of money the others are getting from dad isn't what he thinks. When I hear lavish lifestyle and prison in the same sentence, I think dealing.)
A man nearby us died and left everything to his second wife of many years, and his 3 children sued her. I don't know the outcome. I don't know if the fact that she was already wealthy had anything to do with it.

I didn't mention that after my mother died at 87, my dad, also 87, got on the web and signed up for every dating site you can imagine, for about 3 years. He said he was 77 and used an old picture. He got hit with every young thing out there. He hopped in his car and drove a hundred miles to see some of them. Did I worry? You betcha. About his safety, about being duped, AND about his money, which isn't a lot.

But we live (in a run down house) on a lake, and the land is worth a lot. We are renovating instead of selling to people who would tear it down anyway (to build a McMansion), because both of us want to stay here, and I own a small part of it after I sold my house. I talk to my siblings about if this is wasted expense, and about finances in general. Even though they are not entitled types, I don't want them to have recriminations against me. It could also be wasted if he can't come home. Plus there goes all the rest of our money (I gave him all I had to buy into the house) to his care.

So.. again, children can't expect anything. Your 'entitlement' can go to new families, Anna Nicole Smiths, bad investments, and extraordinary medical care. Happens every day.