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View Full Version : Now or Never?


sjscott1992
May 17, 2011, 04:19 PM
I have this really great friend that I met about 4 months ago. When we first met I thought he would be a cool friend, but as I got to know him better I sort of fell for him in a deeper way than just friends. I told him about a month ago that I liked him and that I didn't really expect him to feel the same way towards me because I knew that at the time there were prettier girls that he liked. Now, from what he has told me, there are no girls that he likes currently, but he couldn't see us as being anything more than friends because he doesn't want to hurt me in the end. Well, all of this occurred during my spring semester of freshman year of college, and now summer has come and we have had to part ways for three months with a 3 hour separation. We have been texting/facebooking/calling back and forth since I left a week ago. Now I know that he said at the time he couldn't see us as anything more than friends, but what if he is in the process of changing his mind?

My question is, should I mention something to him about the questions I have, or should I just leave it as it is and see where he takes it? Also, judging from both mine and his perspective, what do you think is going through his mind and what do you think I should limit myself to? Because I am thinking of going up to see him soon, but I don't want to do it if it will make it seem as though I am trying to make our current friendship into something he's not ready for or that he doesn't want. I will greatly appreciate any fitting comments, questions I should consider, and/or quotes. Thank you! (:

Alty
May 17, 2011, 04:28 PM
In my experience, when someone tells you they don't want to be more then friends because they don't want to hurt you, that's their way of letting you down easy. It's much better then saying "I'm just not that into you".

It sounds like you have a great friendship going. You told him how you feel. He knows. If he wants to make a move as more then friends, then he's got more then enough info to go on.

I wouldn't put too much into building a romantic relationship with this guy. He's made it pretty clear where he stands. Enjoy the friendship and find another guy for a relationship.

Good luck.

amicon
May 17, 2011, 09:15 PM
He was honest and told you he sees you as a friend.

Keep the friendship,enjoy it and look for romance elsewhere.

talaniman
May 18, 2011, 09:02 AM
The more you spend time as friends, the deeper YOU fall for him and want more. Do other things, with other people because you are already getting carried away with thoughts of him feeling as you do, and building false hopes in your own head. And that's after he told you up front when you confessed your feelings to him, it was friends only. The rest is ALL you.

Enjoy your friend, but keep it real, NO ROMANCE, OR ACCEPT THE RISK OF CHANGING, OR LOSING THIS FRIENDSHIP. He says he doesn't want to hurt you, believe him, and don't hurt yourself.

mmresd
May 18, 2011, 01:29 PM
You have been rejected, accept it, and move on. No one on this website has ANY idea of what is going through his mind, and neither will you, assuming that you do can only put you in harms way. Leave him alone, he has told you that he doesn't look at you romantically, don't think that his mind is changing, he will let you know if it does, until then back off and let him decide things for himself. Don't push it unless you are willing to lose the friendship in the process, and thank that he was honest with you about not wanting to be in a relationship with you. Watch out, because the more time you spend with him the more you are going to like him, maybe visiting him is not such a good idea, maybe you should take this vacation as a break between the both of you till you get your feelings under control, so that a healthy friendship can be had.

Good Luck,
Javi