Sharonw
May 12, 2011, 02:30 PM
After a whole lot of drama and ugliness, I told a man that I have loved for over 8 years that I wanted to respect my relationship and not talk to him anymore. We have had such ups and downs, drama, etc. None of my friends and family would want to see me talking to him again, but they don't know the full story.
I can't say he has been the greatest to me all the time, but I also made mistakes in my dealings, coupled with having low self esteem and allowed myself to be put on the back burner by him. But I also did some grimy things out of youth, stupidity, slight revenge,; yet still wanting to be with him. He did some good things as well, but so much has happened that it got crazy between us.
It has been almost a year, I decided to go to a counselor to work out myself esteem issues, and the guy I moved on to is not the guy I thought he was. I would just so much would like to talk to this other guy again. Even though it wasn't the best relationship, I have had a lot of time to think and heal and I find that I miss his presence in my life. I have been thinking about him daily, but at terrified of calling him. I have no clue what he is doing or anything that is going on in his life. He also knows the guy I am with now, and I do not want to cause drama; I just want to talk to him.
I am just so afraid he might hang up on me or curse me out; or tell my current boyfriend. This is why we stopped talking in the first place, but I was in a different and stupid mindset, so I contributed to the drama at the time( trying to be a player, when I was a pitiful rookie at it). Long story short... I miss this guy and just want to talk to him again. Over the last 9-10 years it hasn't been longer than 3 -6 months that we haven't talked. I feel such a big void in my life,and I just want to keep in touch. I did try to IM him a couple, of months ago, but he never responded.
I thought I should do the NC thing, and was the one who told him not to contact me anymore due to my relationship, but I feel I made a mistake. Does stuff like this ever work out well? Should I keep him in my mind forever without contacting him, or should I try to IM or call him again. Again, I have been thinking about him every day. I just don't want to be a bugaboo, but truly miss him.
Am I wrong for this? I miss him sorely, but I feel pretty ashamed and don't want to cause any bad feelings from him. Please some advice!:)
I can't say he has been the greatest to me all the time, but I also made mistakes in my dealings, coupled with having low self esteem and allowed myself to be put on the back burner by him. But I also did some grimy things out of youth, stupidity, slight revenge,; yet still wanting to be with him. He did some good things as well, but so much has happened that it got crazy between us.
It has been almost a year, I decided to go to a counselor to work out myself esteem issues, and the guy I moved on to is not the guy I thought he was. I would just so much would like to talk to this other guy again. Even though it wasn't the best relationship, I have had a lot of time to think and heal and I find that I miss his presence in my life. I have been thinking about him daily, but at terrified of calling him. I have no clue what he is doing or anything that is going on in his life. He also knows the guy I am with now, and I do not want to cause drama; I just want to talk to him.
I am just so afraid he might hang up on me or curse me out; or tell my current boyfriend. This is why we stopped talking in the first place, but I was in a different and stupid mindset, so I contributed to the drama at the time( trying to be a player, when I was a pitiful rookie at it). Long story short... I miss this guy and just want to talk to him again. Over the last 9-10 years it hasn't been longer than 3 -6 months that we haven't talked. I feel such a big void in my life,and I just want to keep in touch. I did try to IM him a couple, of months ago, but he never responded.
I thought I should do the NC thing, and was the one who told him not to contact me anymore due to my relationship, but I feel I made a mistake. Does stuff like this ever work out well? Should I keep him in my mind forever without contacting him, or should I try to IM or call him again. Again, I have been thinking about him every day. I just don't want to be a bugaboo, but truly miss him.
Am I wrong for this? I miss him sorely, but I feel pretty ashamed and don't want to cause any bad feelings from him. Please some advice!:)