So for a few years now, my mom has been going out with a boyfriend she had when she was in high school. She had been divorced for a few years now and it had been just her and me in the house, my older brother had been kicked out.
I noticed at first that she would always be on the phone at home and I would always be put second to the phone call. If I was talking to her and it rang, she would pick it up and completely ignore me for hours.
I found out later on that it was that guy she was dating. She hadn't told me about him at all. He was a complete stranger to me. I found out that they had been going out for 5 months without telling me and I had found out that she even had a boyfriend from a text message on her phone. Yes, I know looking at others texts is an invasion of privacy, but I had to know. I was getting desperate.
So one day when going to visit my relatives, she brought up going to eat at my favorite pizza place. I was all excited and we drove there, pulling up next to a car, a older looking man standing at its door. She got out and she greeted the guy and I just stood there, completely confused until she introduced this awkward guy. This was her boyfriend and the first time I met him. We had dinner, and I tried to keep a good conversation but things were just to awkward. She didn't even sit next to me. She sat next to him and I was on the other side. That got me upset. But I let it slide for now.

From then on, she kept traveling to visit him on the weekends, often leaving me alone. And when there were holidays like Valentines day, she spent it with him. I was really hurt. And when christmas time came around, she stayed with him and I was at my aunts house, or I was sent to my father's. That really crushed me a lot.

My aunt and uncle know I am upsetted by my mother's actions and keep telling me to talk to her about it, but she just walks away from the topic. She has been acting childish and I feel I am being forced to grow up quicker to deal with all this.

Things get worse. At my grandmother's funeral (her mother), she had him stand with her when it should have been only family. She didn't even stand next to me or my brother. And then at the dinner, the old ladies there would talk to me and say "oh so your going to be going to blah blah school." I had no idea what they were talking about and thought it was really rude. One lady even said something about my mother getting married. She had no ring or anything, so I just thought that they were making rumors or something. During the funeral, she also finally introduced my brother to him. My brother was really upset over my grandma's passing since they were really close. I think that was a horrible thing for her to do.

Then at my 15th birthday, the week before, my mom had gone off on vacation with her boyfriend to Florida and disney, leaving me at my aunts house. She didn't even tell me that she was going there. She lied to me. And this is the second time she has gone on vacation without me.
My aunt and uncle and grandpa took me to my favorite pizza place for my birthday dinner, and we waited for them to show up. When they came, my mom sat besides me for once, and reached around me to show my aunt something. While on vacation, she had got engaged. And not only that, before going to the vacation, we had gone out to the mall for my birthday, just her and I and she told me that we were moving. Seriously? She is the worst at bring things up. It ruined everything.

Now this really pissed me off. No only had she done this without even asking me if I was OK with it, her boyfriend didn't even ask me for permission! He had the decency to ask my grandpa, yet didn't think to ask her CHILD!
She had completely ruined my birthday dinner, since all the attention shifted to her. I ended up crying later that night.

It is not fair at all the way she is treating me. If I ask her if we could do something together, she says "oh maybe, I don't know what we are doing" And then when the time comes, I find out she either went off with him somewhere, or just totally ignores my opinion on things. She completely ignores things I ask about and only thinks about him.

Just the other day, I was waiting for them to come back from visiting his brother in the hospital. They were hours late so I decided to call them. Apparently they had went ahead to visit my grandpa without me and had gone out to eat, without taking me into consideration. Then she had the audacity to get angry at me when I showed I was upset about this. She has to turn everything on me and make things my fault all the time.

All of this had been going on since I was about 13 and currently I am 15 going on 16 in a few months.

She has changed big time. I don't understand why she is doing this. I feel depressed constantly over this and my relationship with her has been stressed a lot. I don't know what to do any more. She forced me to move and leave all my friends behind. I still haven't made many friends and still feel completely lost.

How can I get her to realize what she is doing is wrong? How can I confront her about this without causing yet another fight? I need help.

This has been going on for a few years, and you are still wondering what's what? Your mom is in love with this man.

Have you been a real pill that she doesn't even want to talk with you about this? Or is she just walking over you and ignoring you? How do you treat her? You sound really angry.

She has been just walking over and ignoring me. I have been treating her well. I try constantly to still be close to her and be nice.

I'm glad to hear you've been the bigger person in this situation. Just think of her as a giddy teenager in love for the first time. Giddy-in-love teenagers think only of themselves. You will never get her to say she's wrong, so forget that.

You're going to have to continue to be the adult here without killing yourself in the process. Now, how can we help you survive this?

I agree... you mother is in love, and while she may have handled things differently, there isn't always a right way to introduce your children to someone new.

You really should talk to her and let her know how you have been feeling. Let her know that you have something important you want to talk to her about and, together, decide on a time that you can discuss it without interruption. She likely doesn't even realize that you are as upset by it all as you are.

You love her, miss the way things were before, and you felt left out of the loop. This was a big change in your life, and it can be especially hard in your teens. It can be hard to be happy for her, when you are thinking of how this has effected you.

She might have thought this was a wonderful opportunity for all of you and just didn't think that you would feel differently about it or that you needed more time to adjust to the situation.

Talk to her, or write her a letter if that is easier, but make sure you say that you want to talk about it.

This is pretty horrible, and to hear that this has been going on for years isn't acceptable. If things haven't been sorted out yet (you posted this around a month ago), I think you should talk to a counsellor or somebody who could help in some way, if your mother still won't listen to you.
You shouldn't have to put up with this; she may be 'in love', but how is that ever going to be more important than her own child? You should always be put first, along with your brother, not a potential husband.
Sorry if this is too late an answer, but I hope that it's useful in some way... good luck with it all :)

I know how you feel. My mom married a man that was horrible to me and my pets. If my dog got out of the house he'd grab her and kick her really hard in the chest and throw shoes at her. Whenever they'd fight he'd always bring me into it saying how horrible I am and how I've ruined everything.

Now she's been divorced almost 3 years and she has a new boyfriend and she wasn't going to tell me at all. I had to find the clues. I noticed how there was an extra tooth brush in her bathroom, men's underwear in the laundry, and a nice white shirt on the dryer with men's perfume. They were together a year before she would tell me.

Now he's at the house 24/7. She ignores me all the time. Yells at me when he's here, and just goes everywhere with him. Forgetting I'm here.

I was in kindergarten when she started ignoring me. Now I'm almost a freshmen in high school. She doesn't know anything about me. She thought I ate meat and told my boyfriend I did. When he knows I clearly don't. I can relate on many levels. It sucks. I'm sorry it happened to you. I hope it gets better.