I am a mother of a 3 almost 4 year old Child , My now separated husband has taken our child out of state the divorce has not been finalized yet , he has cut me off from all contact with our son and is now trying to use it against me in court , stating to the fact that I haven't had anything to do with our son or any contact I have called his attorney several times for his phone numbers and whereabouts and she tells me she does not have any numbers on him , at this time I do not have the money for an attorney any advise or tips from anyone .

I am a mother of a 3 almost 4 year old Child , My now seperated husband has taken our child out of state the divorce has not been finalized yet , he has cut me off from all contact with our son and is now trying to use it against me in court , stating to the fact that i haven't had anything to do with our son or any contact i have called his attorney several times for his phone numbers and whereabouts and she tells me she does not have any numbers on him , at this time i do not have the money for an attorney any advise or tips from anyone .


What does "now separated" mean? You have a legal separation? If so that separation should very clearly state who has physical custody of the child.

What stage are things in? You say the divorce is not yet finalized. Where does it stand?

His Attorney is under absolutely no obligation to talk to you. You need to go to Court and request an emergency hearing to resolve the custody issue IF your husband is in violation of the separation agreement.

How long has the child been gone? I don't understand how your husband can use the lack of contact with your child against you if you immediately took steps to get the child back, through the Police Department, through the Court system, somehow.

Something isn't reading right. Is there something you have left out?

What's the chances of a mother getting primary custody after committing adultery ? & the father taken the child out of state with out permission ? And has denied the mother contact or visitation?

The mother had an affair, okay, I don't think that makes her a bad mother. It was just an unhappy marriage...

Lots of questions, Crystal. I am assuming there is no court order in place.

I think you will have to tell us more, such as the state you live in, and a little more detail before you get some valid answers.

Tick

We have been married since August 2007 , and live in Mississippi . What happened in Dec 2009 he moved out of our house , took our child and moved out of state , and filed for divorce went before a judge told all kinds of lies to get a restraining order and temporary child custody order ( based on LIES) . I was not notified of any of these actions for almost 3 months after , so I was not able to respond to the courts order with in 72 hours . But now it has been almost 2 years in December that he has file for divorce , and still he nor his lawyer has file for a court date. It seems like there just trying to ride out this temporary order and collect child support . Only thing on that is , I have no addresses telephone numbers or anything to pay child support .
Im currently in relationship with another man we've been together almost a year , and he is now trying to say that I committed adultery . Any advise , and any thoughts on what my chances are to win Full custody .

We have been married since August 2007 , and live in Mississippi . What happened in Dec 2009 he moved out of our house , took our child and moved out of state , and filed for divorce went before a judge told all kinds of lies to get a restraining order and temporary child custody order ( based on LIES) . I was not notified of any of these actions for almost 3 months after , so I was not able to respond to the courts order with in 72 hours . But now it has been almost 2 years in December that he has file for divorce , and still he nor his lawyer has file for a court date. It seems like there just trying to ride out this temporary order and collect child support . Only thing on that is , I have no addresses telephone numbers or anything to pay child support .
Im currently in relationship with another man we've been together almost a year , and he is now trying to say that I committed adultery . Any advise , and any thoughts on what my chances are to win Full custody .

Is Mississippi and fault state , and what do I do if I can't afford an attorney to fight this for me ?what are some other ways for me to go about this ? Please any advise would help .

... he ... filed for divorce went before a judge told all kinds of lies to get a restraining order and temporary child custody order ( based on LIES) . I was not notified of any of these actions for almost 3 months after , so i was not able to respond to the courts order with in 72 hours . ...

Did he file the divorce action in Mississippi?

So he got a hearing for a restraining order and a temporary custody order, the hearing was held, an order was entered, and you weren't told about either the hearing or the order for three months? Move to set the order aside.

I don't know about Mississippi specifically, but in most or all places, infidelity such as adultery has no bearing on a custody determination.

... But now it has been almost 2 years in December that he has file for divorce , and still he nor his lawyer has file for a court date. ...

Is there any reason you haven't asked for a court date?

Yes it was in Mississippi , He and my son are now in tn . He will not let me see him talk to him nor know where he is . I do not have the money to hire an attorney , so how would I file to set that order aside? Where do I go? Courthouse?

AND yes he got the restraining order and temp order , and I didn't know until almost 3 months later . I did not know where he was he moved out of our apartment took our son out of the day care he was in, it took me that long to find him . And he told me to call this lawyer . That's when I found out . I was never given an order nor notified .

... Something isn't reading right. Is there something you have left out?

OP has posted more information on another thread.

CrystalL07, we ask that all questions relating to the same issue be kept in the same thread. Makes our job easier.

I don't think we can help when the story that is posted is just that - a story with part of the "facts" and a lot of imagination.

Upsets me when I take time to research and answers and THEN found the child wasn't kidnapped. There was a Court hearing and order.

So much for this problem.

I've merged your threads.

As I see it the first thing you need to do is file a motion to vacate the restraining order at least as it applies to your son and request the court order visitation immediately.

Frankly, if you can't afford a lawyer you stand a very small chance since he has one. In my opinion you can't afford NOT to have a lawyer. At the very least you can try and see if there is a local law school with a law clinic that can help you prepare strategy and paperwork.

That you have left so much time go by is another strike against you. You stated that 3 months went by before you know he had gotten the RO and temp custody. How could that be? When he didn't come home one night what did you do?

Were you having an affair during your marriage?

Adultery IS grounds for divorce in Mississippi. Mississippi Divorce Laws - Mississippi State Divorce Laws (http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/statedivorcelaws/a/miss_laws.htm)

He is probably accusing you of adultery because you were (admittedly) committing adultery.

Obviously the longer he delays the divorce and the longer you don't see your child the more negligent you appear. It works to his advantage.

Your husband left in 2009 and you are now, 17 months later, getting around to trying to figure out what to do? I can't help but believe that there are other issues at play here. Something doesn't make sense.

Is there a drug or alcohol problem involved?

Having an affair does not make you a bad mother; not seeing your child in all this time, not making any serious attempts to see your child, does put your parenting skills in question.

Having an affair does not make you a bad mother; not seeing your child in all his time, not making any serious attempts to see your child, does put your parenting skills in question.

I wouldn't say parenting "skills" but parenting commitment.

I wouldn't say parenting "skills" but parenting committment.


- Agreed. And I was coming back to add "priorities." What has OP been doing for the past 17 months that's kept her too busy to even attempt to get (minimally) visitation with her child.

I suspect there are other issues. Spidey senses and all.

Crystal, First please don't presume to dictate who can answer your questions or how. If you think an answer violates our rules, then report it. Otrherwise, if you don't like the advice ignore it.

Funny how you all of sudden found the money for an attorney. That's good though because you need an attorney to sort through this and file the right motions. Just make sure you tell your attorney the WHOLE story, otherwise he won't be able to help fully.

I'm willing to bet, however, that your attorney is giving you similar advice that we did. We were constrianed because you only give us bits and pieces. I've reviewed all the advice you have been given and found it was all valid, accurate and helpful advice based in the information you supplied us.

Adultery IS grounds for divorce in Mississippi. Mississippi Divorce Laws - Mississippi State Divorce Laws (http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/statedivorcelaws/a/miss_laws.htm)
...

Your link is interesting. Assuming it's accurate, Mississippi isn't, strictly speaking, a "no fault divorce" state.

But the fact remains that adultery isn't relevant to the questions of child custody.

Your link is interesting. Assuming it's accurate, Mississippi isn't, strictly speaking, a "no fault divorce" state.

But the fact remains that adultery isn't relevant to the questions of child custody.


Agreed but I was addressing this: "and he is now trying to say that i commited adultery"

The divorce has not been finalized. In fact, I'm not sure WHERE the divorce is in the grand scheme of things. The husband is alleging adultery because that is (I would guess) his grounds for divorce.

It was asked separate from the child support issue. Also, several posts were removed so this is a little difficult to follow.