I grew up in Germany with a very loving family. About 8 years ago I came to the USA to get to know my biological mother (she married and moved to US) and (half) brothers and have lived here ever since. My BM and I always had a difficult relationship and I admit I am no angel either. A few months after I got pregnant in 2009 we, my boyfriend/fiancée and I moved in with my BM and her family to do difficult pregnancy and finical reasons. One month after my daughter was born in 2010 we my fiancée and I had a big and ugly fight with BM and her husband, moved out and haven't talk.
However, starting at month 5-6 my daughter showed some medical problems and we spend about 7 month in the hospitals till she passed away beginning of this month on a genetic metabolic disease.
Now to get to my question; I had no contact with her for a year, however I recently discovered that she put on Facebook that she holds me personally responsible for the death of my daughter, because I moved out and in to a unclean environment and that's how she got meningitis. It doesn't matter how much I try to explain to her that my daughter never had meningitis she still puts it out there through messages and on her friends' walls for everyone to see.
This doesn't cost me any financial damages but great emotional distress since I am mourning my daughter and than still have to explain to cousins what really happened.
Could I sue her for deformation of character or slander?
All her accusations are speculations on her part with no background and I've given up explaining to her the real reasons, since is not giving up putting this out there.
Please give me some advice, I am very hurt.

Here is something I wrote:

"Briefly - Generally in law libel refers to permanent/written statements and slander refers to non-permanent/spoken statements. Defamation (of character) covers both categories.

You must be damaged - and prove damages - in order to recover. The statements (either written or spoken) must be false but presented as though they were true and be beyond offensive, derogatory or insulting. Such statement must rise to a level which actually harms a person’s reputation. In general the person making the statement must either know it isn’t true or make the statement without attempting to verify if it is true.

The defense to defamation is that the information was not presented as the truth (which covers gossip), that the information was never secret (privileged) and was always public."

You must have damages in order to collect. Have you seen a Doctor to treat you for anxiety or emotional distress caused by these postings?

You can always retain an Attorney to write her and warn her that is acting in a very irresponsible fashion.

My sympathy on the loss of your daughter.

I have systemic lupus and stress on top of more stress reflects into more activity. Thank you for letting me know that I will have to prove this, therefore I to will see my doctor as well as therapy in case a simple warning from an attorney turns into an ugly fight as well. I have prove of her accusations to be false. I have presented her the full description of my daughters disease, however she has decided for to be invalid through her own research (every conversation has been saved in my doc.). There are other assumptions out there that put me in the most despicable light, however I believe they would fall more under the opinion status,where she absolutely believes them true, however she never bothered to verify. My greatest fear of all this is that she has alienated me from my brothers and that I one day run in to one of my biologic family in Germany and being accused all over again (we do all live in one part of the country and very possible). I just want to grieve the loss and don't have to explain allover again someday.

Thank you Judy Kay Tee

I'm knowledgeable about SLE and it's effects on the body. Yes, get medical attention and keep in mind that "she" has to take you as she finds you. That means if you are more harmed by stress than the average person that is not a strike against you. You were sick; she made you sicker (for lack of a better explanation).

You can't possibly grieve with this hanging over your head.

Let us know how you are doing, how this is working out.

Report her to face book and after a while and enough complaints they will most likely close her site or make her take it down.