I slept with my best friends dad.Ive had a crush on him for like ages he's really hot but I didn't think anything would happen.I stayed over her house on the weekend and well I ended up sleeping with him now I feel really horrible.I don't want her mum to find out and I don't want to lose her as my friend.He keeps on txting me and I just want him to leave me alone I told him but he won't listen.I don't know what to do and I have no one to ask because I can't tell anyone please help

How old are you?

And where do you live?

I live in australia I, 15

Im 15

The age of consent is 16,so,Bella,this guy,this creep,has broken the law by having had sex with you.

I would tell your mum-I know you don't want to do this but,what about the next young girl who falls for his disgusting spiel?

It wasn't all him I wanted to sleep with him well I thought I did it wasn't like he forced me.I just didn't really think about how it would affect my friend and her mum if they found out.I don't know how I could be so dumb he I just want him to leave me alone and I definitely don't want to tell my parents ill be in major trouble

In law,your consent is irrelevant-you are a minor,so he,as an adult is responsible for letting things getting so out of order.

Tell him to leave you alone or you will tell everyone-as you s h o u l d.

If my friend finds out she will hate me for ever, not that I would blame her.I don't know what I was thinkng he was just so nice to me and things just went way to far,but it not his fault I wanted it to happen at the time.I told him that I couldn't sleep with him again he just won't leave me alone. I don't want him to get in trouble but I need to know how to get him to stop sending me messages and ringing me

I disagree,he is an adult and he seduced you-that's the legal situation-so legally he is at fault.

You can't undo what happened and yes,you were way out of your depth even considering having sex with anyone at your age,but unless you get help to sort him out,all you can do is tell him that unless he wises up asap you will tell.

You also need to consider STDs and the fact that you could be pregnant.

I sent him a text, I told him to leave me alone or I would tell.He doesn't believe me he knows I want tell.He asked me to meet him tomorrow after school, if I don't he won't let me see my friend again.What have I done everything is getting out of control.I am so stupid I have never felt so horrible in all my life,But what do I do,I have to go other wise I'll never get to see my friend and if I tell she will hate me.

So he's emotionally trying to blackmail you-Bella,you MUST tell someone,school nurse,counselor-this is spiralling out of control and you need to get help.

Don't let him intimidate you-tell people,he's a scumbag and he's used you.

Don't let him win-act!!

I don't think he used me I did want to sleep with him,but now I know that was a mistake.A big mistake.I can forget about, I don't want to tell because he will get into trouble and it wasn't just him and my friend will never forgive me.I think I should just meet him an try and explain, get him to just be normal and leave me alone.Argh how stupid could I be this is not the way I wanted my first time to be I so regret everything.

I wouldn't go meet him;if you do,make sure you meet up in a public place with lots of people around.

You're 15,the world's not a safe place and you need to be very,very careful.

Im meeting him at my house my prents will be at work.I can't meet him in public in case someone sees.But I'll be fine he wouldn't hurt me.I just need to tell him that he has to leave me alone.

I hope he won't,in fact,I pray he won't.

Let us know how it goes.

Hi Bella.

You need to tell someone, I can understand your scared of what will happen if you tell. But ever considered what will happen if you don't? Your going to meet up with him inside your own house, with no one else around except you or him - you know that he want's to have sex again, you know that he thinks no matter what happens you won't tell on him because your scared of getting into trouble.

Think about it you alone in a house with that creep, it's not going to turn out the way your hoping its going to turn out - I'm fairly sure he is going to try and have sex with you again, and from what I'm reading here I don't think he cares if you say no!

Ken is right Bella. If you meet up with him at your home, alone, he is going to try to pursue sex again. If you say no, he's most likely going to rape you.

This man is a pervert, a criminal, and a pedophile. You NEED to tell someone before it happens again.

He's not like that he wouldn't hurt me.I'm not going to sleep with him again it was a mistake I was so stupid.He said he just wanted to talk to me.

Bella - COME ON!! Honey - do you really think he's not going to try to push you into sleeping with him again? I'm almost sick to my stomach reading what has gone on with you and that GROWN, MARRIED, MANIPULATIVE man! It doesn't matter if you 'wanted it' too, or even if you pursued it first - the point is he is an adult, and HE should NEVER have allowed it to happen. It sounds like you are covering for him - DON'T! Please see if there is a sexual abuse hotline in your area you can call! The advice my mothering instincts want to give you would land ME in jail! - Please, please, please don't meet with him alone - like everyone has said, he'll take that as a sign that you want to sleep together again!

Bella, everyone here is spot on in their advice. You NEED to tell someone about this. I know you don't want to and you're scared of the consequences, but you have to get this man to leave you alone.

That this man broke the law and he knows it. This isn't stopping him from pursuing you again and wanting to continue this HIGHLY ILLEGAL affair he's having. He's already shown what he's capable of (adultery and pedophilia), and if it goes unchecked who knows what else he'll do.

He thinks he has power over you because you wanted him and you "won't tell" anyone. At this point, you get him to leave you alone by talking to another adult about it. They will know what to do. Like others have said, it can be the school nurse, a counselor, a teacher, your mom, anyone. You just need to let another adult know now before you're put into danger again!

Okay, I can understand being naïve at 15.

But you're compounding that with being STUPID.

Do NOT meet this guy ANYPLACE where you are ALONE with him.

He WILL hurt you. He WILL blackmail you into sex with him again. He is SICK, and he will NOT stop until you tell someone.

Yes, you're going to hurt your friend---that's unavoidable. But hon--you have to take care of YOURSELF first, and meeting this man again at ALL is not a good idea.

And think of it this way--your friend might forgive you having sex with her dad ONCE---but she will NOT forgive an affair (and that's what you're starting here) that breaks up her parents' marriage.

Write your friend a note, write her mother a note, admit you made a horrible mistake, ask for their forgiveness. Do not meet with this man, do not text him anymore, do not respond to any attempts he makes to contact you. If you need to, save the texts and show them to your friend and her mother.
If you ever feel unsafe, or he won't stop hounding you, tell your parents, tell the police.

Sure people will be upset... but they will find out sooner or later anyway and you can be sure you aren't likely the first or the last person he will cheat on his family with. You have the power to stop him from hurting your friend and her family anymore than he already has.

If your friend forgives you, and wants to continue being a friend, count your blessings. If not, accept it, let it go, and learn from it.

He is a predator. I bet there were others before you. Tell someone. This man is dangerous.

To keep a friend, you allow yourself to be a victim of this predator? What if your friend is also a victim?

I don't want to tell anyone. I know it was a mistake and I regret it.But if I tell anyone he will get into trouble and it wasn't like that.Plus I feel really ashamed for even doing it,so I don't really want to tell.I understand what your all saying maybe I should just meet him somewhere else or talk to him on the phone.I don't think he would hurt me he said he just wanted to talk

You don't tell anyone and he does this with someone else. Where does that leave your friend and her mother? How many other girls has he been with?

Do you really believe he would be honest with you? He has lied to his family... the very people he supposedly loves! He most certainly will lie to you to keep you from saying anything. Do not meet with him, do not talk to him. What would be the reason? What could he possibly say to you that would make any difference? He only seeks to manipulate you further.

He has proven he can't be trusted. He has proven he is a liar. He has proven he is a man of no integrity.

I am sorry, I know you regret it, I know you are scared, and I know you don't want anyone to get hurt... but people will get hurt no matter what you do. You can make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else.

I'm so confused,I don't want to hurt my friend and it will hurt her if she finds out. If I tell someone.If I don't tell she will never know.But if I don't go and talk to him then he won't let me see her again we've been friends since we were 3 I don't want to not see her.I know sleeping with him was wrong he's married.I know he wouldn't hurt me, well I don't think he would he said he just wanted to talk about what happened.I'm so confused at the moment, what to do, I have read everything you all have said and it wasn't like he forced me or pressured me.I was just stupid I shouldn't of drank so much, I should have gone to bed when my friend did.It was my fault

I'm so confused,I don't want to hurt my friend and it will hurt her if she finds out. if I tell someone.If i don't tell she will never know.But if I don't go and talk to him then he wont let me see her again we've been friends since we were 3 I don't want to not see her.I know sleeping with him was wrong he's married.I know he wouldn't hurt me, well i don't think he would he said he just wanted to talk about what happened.I'm so confused at the moment, what to do, I have read everything you all have said and it wasn't like he forced me or pressured me.I was just stupid i shouldn't of drank so much, I should of gone to bed when my friend did.It was my fault

It was NOT YOUR FAULT.

You are not an adult. He is. You are not married. He is.

This was HIS FAULT.

What reason will he give your friend for not letting her see you? "oh, sorry honey--your friend won't talk to me after I seduced her and gave a minor alcohol, so you can't talk to her anymore."

Yeah, that's CRAP.

This is one of those times I hate how anonymous the internet is, because I'd seriously like to call the cops for you.

THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Do not meet him. Tell your parents what happened. They will be disappointed, but they love you and you need their help to be protected from this man.

I couldn't tell my parents they would be so mad with me.I sent him a text saying I couldn't see him.He said he was going to pick me up from school because we really needed to talk.So I didn't go to school.I don't want to say anything to anyone,I just want him to get that I don't want to talk to him.I've made the biggest mistake in my life I just want him to leave me alone.I don't know what I'm going to do if he doesn't leave me alone, I don't know how I can even go to my friends house anymore I don't know what I was thinking I feel so horrible

You have already told him many times that you don't want anything else, and he should leave you alone.. he hasent done that yet!

So next time you see your girlfriend, it can't be anywhere near him because he's mad/scared your going to talk... and he want's to continue what he's doing..

And the reason for that is that he can see you're a scared child from which he can continue having sexual relation with without you saying anything to others, all he needs to do is keep pressuring you..

You have to pick the lesser of two evils here:

A) You tell your parents, they will decide what's best for you.

B) You say nothing, and this CREEP will continue you to harass you. And he Won't STOP, this isent one of those things that if you leave it alone it will go away.. it's going to continue!

I can understand your scared, but you have to tell someone. It's not going to go away!

I'm ashamed of what I've done how can I tell anyone.If I tell what would happen to him?I don't want him to get in trouble when it was my fault I should have said no.I really think if I just talk to him he will leave me alone.God I don't know I'm so confused,you all say he will keep harassing me but I don't see him like that he's always been real nice and caring to me.

Honey... you HAVE to tell someone.

How many times do I have to tell you it was NOT YOUR FAULT?!

This is HIS fault. He knew that every single thing he was doing was wrong. You are the VICTIM here.

Of COURSE he's been nice and caring--and it got him into your pants, didn't it? A nice caring adult doesn't seduce underage young women, honey. He gave you alcohol, lowered your inhibitions, and took advantage of you.

YES, he is going to get into trouble. Do you want him to make another girl feel like you're feeling right now? What happens if you're pregnant or have an STD? Have you even thought that far ahead yet?

You NEED to tell. It will hurt you emotionally and mentally for a very long time if you do not.

I know you're not a child, but you don't have the life experience to realize that what he did, regardless whether you were okay with it at the time or not, was NOT OKAY. If someone told you that a 10 year old you know had a crush on her friend's dad, and he committed sexual acts with her--even though she wanted it!--wouldn't you say that he has issues, and that she should tell because adults are not supposed to touch underage children that way?

Please please please talk to an adult (not HIM!) about this! You need to make sure you get the help you need to get over this, and talking to him further isn't going to help you.

You realize WHY he wants to talk to you, right? It's to make sure you do NOT tell anyone---because he KNOWS what he did was VERY wrong. He will threaten, blackmail and lie to you to make sure you don't tell---and he's WRONG for doing that.

Please go see an adult about this. Your pastor, your school counselor, a trusted relative, ANYONE.

What kind of trouble will he get in, will he get arrested?I don't want that to happen.If he only wants to tell me not to say anything then maybe I should just talk to him and tell him I won't, then he will leave me alone.He's been ringing me all afternoon and txting me that he really needs to talk.Do you think if I just ring him instead of seeing him and talk he will leave me alone?I really don't want to tell anyone I just want him to stop calling and txting me.

You need to understand that he is a criminal and that other young girls are very likely to be at risk.

Stop trying to protect him and stop making excuses for his criminal behaviour.

Again, tell someone!!

I'm not trying to make excuses for what happen.Im just finding it hard to understand why what happened is his fault.I may be stupid but I'm not a little kid I made the stupid decision I could have said no, so doesn't that make it just as much my fault.I want to have nothing to do with him, it was a mistake and I hope no one my age will do the same.But what would happen to him if he doesn't leave me alone and I told?

Ok, you drank too much... where did the liquor come from? Were you at his house? Was it his liquor? Did he know you were drinking?

It is his fault because he is the adult. It was his responsibility to make sure you were safe at his home if you were spending the night with your friend. It was his responsibility to make sure you were not drinking in the first place. It was his responsibility to not take advantage of the situation.

Of course he wants to talk to you... he knows he was wrong, he knows he can get into trouble, and he wants to make sure you don't say anything.

He will either plead to you, turn it around to be your fault, and try to make you feel guilty, or he will try to sweet talk you into how much he cares about you so you won't say anything, or he will become quite angry and threaten you with not seeing your friend or even perhaps causing some sort of harm.

If you can't speak to your parents directly, write them a letter and tell them that way. The same for your friend and her mother.

You really need to let the adults in your life deal with this. Everyone will know and understand that you are scared, you were taken advantage of in this.

He will do this again with some other young girl if he isn't stopped. Your friend will eventually find out and how do you think she will feel when she learns you knew about it already, but didn't say anything?

What will happen to him? I don't know your judicial system, but he could spend some time in jail, he could get probation. His family may break up, but that would not be your doing, that would be because of his actions.

None of it would be your doing, it would be because of his actions. His family has a right to know so that they can make a choice of what they feel they need to do. Better they know now and can make that choice, then to find out later it had been going on and you were one of the people who knew about it but didn't speak up.

And the most important thing is that if you told you would likely be protecting other girls from it happening to them.

I was just wondering what would happen if a 15 slept with an older man?Would they get arrested and if they did would they go to jail.If they went to jail how long would it be?

This is such a mess.If I tell someone what will people think of me.My friend will never talk to me again, there family will never be the same and all because of a stupid mistake.And if I don't tell anyone I'm going to feel bad if it's like tou say and he sleeps with other girls.I know what your saying is true and his family should know I suppose my mum would want to know if it was our family.But I can't do it I can't tell.I'm sick of him ringing and txting so I'm just going to talk to him and get it over with

If sexual contact is illegal at that age in that State the older man would do jail time as a sexual predator and be placed on the sex offender's list.

Jail time varies - could be 10 years.

If parents don't want to contend with 15 year old he/she could end up in Juvenile Detention and/or a foster home.

EDIT: I just read your other thread. This is not your fault and he is not your responsibility.

If nothing happens he could very well end up sexually abusing other under age girls. If he does and is charged and the truth comes out about earlier abuse he will be charged on for all sexual activity on all of the girls.

EDIT: I have asked that your threads be combined. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/emotional-wellbeing/he-wont-leave-me-alone-571078-4.html#post2776882

Thanks I wanted to know what might happen.That sounds really harsh sex offenders list and jail.

It's not harsh-I've said this all along,Bella,he has committed a very serious crime.

How is that not harsh.I know what happened was wrong I mean he's married and he's my best friends dad but if he had of just left it then I wouldn't of needed any advise now I'm just confused.I rang him to talk but he didn't pick up he sent me a txt saying he couldn't talk he would talk tomorrow.I'm totally overwhelmed at the moment by everything and honestly don't know what to do.I never thought about it the way you all have put it.I don't want to be the reason my friends dad goes to jail.How messed up is this ****

You see your best friend's 'hot' dad-we,from the outside,see an adult male who seduces at least one underage girl-that's the crime;it's a criminal act in most countries,so ,again,even though I feel as if we are a l l talking to the wall-go tell a responsible adult.

How is that not harsh.I know what happened was wrong I mean he's married and he's my best friends dad but if he had of just left it then I wouldn't of needed any advise now i'm just confused.I rang him to talk but he didn't pick up he sent me a txt saying he couldn't talk he would talk tomorrow.I'm totaly overwhelmed at the moment by everything and honestly don't know what to do.I never thought about it the way you all have put it.I dont want to be the reason my friends dad goes to jail.How messed up is this ****


I'm sure you are upset and confused and emotionally torn, overwhelmed. That's what adults who have sex with underage women/girls count on. You would be amazed at the number of these incidents (which could also be called crimes) which are not reported for that very reason.

I think you need to step back and look at this clearly for a second - first, there was alcohol involved. You are under age. Who/where/how did the alcohol get to you? That's step number one.

As a side issue - where were his wife and child when he was having sex with you?

You aren't the reason he could go to jail; HE is the reason HE could go to jail. He had sex with someone who is underage. Being married, being someone's father, those are moral issues, moral considerations. Having sex with someone who is under age and LEGALLY unable to consent to a sexual relationship is a crime. That's not a moral issue.

HE put his family at risk; HE put you at risk (you have no idea who else he's been with so at this point you have no idea if he's risked your health) concerning an STD; HE put you at risk for a pregnancy - and there is no such thing as being 100% safe. I don't want to add to your concerns but these are valid things you must consider.

As a side issue if he's so "hot" why is he preying on underage girls and not women his own age?

You need to speak to someone, an adult, who will understand.

Im sorry if you feel like you are speaking to a wall,I have been listerning to everything everyone has said and I guess I'm just scared it's not something that's easy to do and no matter what anyone says I do feel like it's my fault to.I care heaps for my friend and what are people going to think of me,what type of person I am.I wouldn't even know who to tell or even how to tell I am ashamed of what happened.My parents will be so disappointed in me.Everything my mum said to me about sex and being careful I didn't even listen to.What happens if I tell,will I have to go to the police and tell them what happened.Everything will just be even more worse

I don't know what will happen when you tell, because I don't know all of the laws in your country.

I DO know that you will be hurting YOURSELF if you do not tell. You will have issues with relationships, you'll have issues with trust, you'll have issues with authority---you need to tell so you can get the help YOU need to get over this.

We know it's not easy, hon. That's why we're here trying to encourage you to do what the right thing for YOU is.

You make mistakes growing up, it's a part of life - I never really listened to my parents either growing up regarding sex. But now that I'm older I see potentiel danger I brought myself in.

But what's done is done nothing you can do about it. What matters now is how you react to the circumstances, I'm sure your parents will be disappointed at first, that's natural - but they will also respect you for coming clean and realizing that you put yourself in harms way and your mature enough to seek help with a problem that you can't solve yourself. Part of growing up is to know when you reach out and ask for help, EVERYONE faces a hard time or choice they themselves can't solve without the guidance of some of your fellow people.

Deep down you know something's wrong that you needed help with, but there's only so much we can do from here, the rest is up to you - act like an adult and do the right thing even though its very hard.

What seems like the right thing to do could also be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. It's always worth it.

And I'm not terribly certain that the mistake wasn't the alcohol which may have started this chain of events, not the sex.

If the OP were an ADULT, intoxicated, the male should have known better.

It's not about the mistakes we make in life. It's about how we get over them, whether we learn from the experience.

I spoke to a person from kids help line she said he would get charged with sexual penatration of a minor and supplying alcohol to a minor.I would have to be inteveiwed by police and then he would be charged,if he pleaded not guilty it would go to court and I would have give my statement to the court and be asked questions.Thats pretty full on.I'm going to tell someone I'm not sure who.Do you think I should tell my friend I know she isn't going to want to be my friend anymore and I wouldn't blame her but maybe I should tell her first.

Well done for speaking to the helpline!

You're doing the right thing.

I think you should speak to your parents and/or your school counsellor.

Don't speak to your friend-let adults take over now.

Tell your parents... you will need their guidance and support.

I think I will tell my mum.Maybe I should write her a letter I don't know exactly know how to tell her.I feel like I should tell my friend.I feel really bad if I don't tell her myself.I just want to telll her I'm sorry and I didn't mean for it to happen,if I don't tell her now then when she finds out she won't speak to me and I'll never get to say sorry

Speak to your mother rather than writing her a letter-she's your mum-she loves you.

Leave it be with your friend for the time being;either way she probably won't want to speak to you-but the main thing is tell your mother.

You need to talk to your mother rather than a letter. She needs to see it in your face that you are telling the truth.

I agree to leave it be with your friend for now. Talking to her first would be the worst thing you could do at this point.

Speak to my mum that's going to be hard,I doubt she will be very happy with me I'd rather not be there I thought a letter would be better then I don't have to be there when she finds out.I'm worried I know she will go off,if it's in a letter she can cool down not be so mental.Or maybe your right maybe it is better coming straight from me

You're going to have to face the music sooner or later.

Make it sooner.

Good luck.

I told mum what happened.I feel so horrible she made me go to the police station,I had to tell them everything they took my mobile and came to the house and took my clothes I was wearing that night.I feel so bad,it was the worse thing I have ever had to do in my life.All the questions I had to answer and my mum had to be in the room with me and she kept on crying.I don't think I should have told, my parents have hardly spoken to me this was a big mistake.I can't even imagine what I've done to my friends family.I should have just dealt with this myself instead of doing this.God I wish I could just disappear

I'm sure I can speak for the others here. We are all so proud of you! Good job!

Honey, you did the right thing. I know it's hard to believe now, but you saved other young girls from going through the same thing.

What you did was very brave!

You did the right thing. Good Luck...

Honey--you did the right thing.

I know it's REALLY hard right now--your parents are disappointed, it's embarrassing to go through, it hurts and you feel horrid.

It WILL get better. You did the right thing.

While you are only 15, you made a choice to sleep with a married man. That you had always found him 'hot', was surely picked up on. While the infatuation continued, you did nothing to stop it, and consented to have sex with him. You had opportunities to stop, and you had opportunities to realize that if you did sleep with him, both your friend, and her mother would very much be affected by your actions.

That in NO WAY excuses HIS behaviour. As an adult, and you technically a child, laws are in place to protect children from predators. You, at 15, are not expected to have the maturity or life experience to protect yourself, in other words, you do not have the capacity to consent with full understanding, thus the onus is on him, and it the becomes criminal behaviour.

Regardless of your consent in other words, you are now dealing with a man, who has had sex, with a child. That is all you are dealing with, and you must step up, and stop him.

The consequences of your actions will probably be the loss of your friend, but the consequences will also be this man will be held accountable for his actions, and you could very well be saving other children from also being involved with him.

I would be surprised if this man hasn't had a history.

There is no option for you but to tell your parents immediately. It is their job to take appropriate action, and stop this man from pursuing you. Keep your texts from him, this is direct evidence.

While you may lose your friend in the process, it is a small price to pay, in the overall scope of things, to do the right thing. He will not go away, you are in way over your head, and like it or not, you have to deal with this.

There is no option for you but to tell your parents immediately. It is their job to take appropriate action, and stop this man from persuing you. Keep your texts from him, this is direct evidence.

Jake, please read the whole thread. She did tell her parents AND the police.

My apologies- did not read carefully enough to see all the posts.

I am so so sorry for what I've done to my friend and her mum.I really hate myself for ever letting any of this happen

I'm so proud of you, what you have done shows that you're a strong person with the will to do right by others.

I know the next 3-4 weeks is going to be hard, but it is going to get a lot better, you just wait and see. :)

Very good job... SO PROUD.. :)

I'm sending you the biggest cyberhug-you did the right thing,Bella and I'm adding to the others praise,I'm so very proud of you!!

Things will be tough for a while,but you'll be able to handle it-you are a strong,good person who's grown up tremendously in the last couple of days.

Take good care of yourself.

I've been following this post since the beginning but have refrained from advising until now.

Bella,

The courage it took for you to face your fears and do what is right, far surpasses any courage I have or will ever have. You're a brave girl and you did right by a lot of people. It could have been easy to turn away from askmehelpdesk and do whatever you wanted, but you stuck with us as we stuck with you to help you, guide you, through a very unfortunate circumstance.

I know I speak for many when I say I wish I had the courage you do, as we know facing our fears can be one of the hardest things we ever do.

Your parents cry and are quite, but put yourself in their shoes. Some pediphile touched their little girl and forever altered her life. Give it time and you will see, how proud of you they are. For stepping up and speaking out against this horrible man.

Keep your head up, and know we're always here if you ever want to talk.

Edit: removed

Bella,

I, too, am SO proud of you. You are so much braver than many, and you have done a great service to yourself, to other young people, and (believe it or not) to your friend's family.

I know that you feel a lot of pain right now, and you don't feel like you're such a good person, but you ARE. You have done a very good thing owning up to what's happened, and you've gone to the right people for help in taking action for your mistakes.

Your parents love you, and you are their priority. Yes, they're disappointed; yes, they're hurt. But they have already shown that they will do what it takes to protect you and to make sure that you will be okay. You need to trust them and the police now.

If you need anything, we are here for you. Even if just to talk. Again, I'm so very proud of you and inspired by you.

Bella, we're still here for you too. You can ALWAYS come back to talk to us.

I think everyone here is so incredibly proud of you. I know it must have been the hardest thing you ever had to do.

Stay brave. You are doing the right thing. We're all here to hold your hand through it, too.

I don't see how things are going to get better.Things are always going to be different I've ruined my life I don't have my friend any more and I've ruined her family.None of our other friends will want to have anything to do with me.My mum and dad,well I don't even know what they think they probably are disappointed in me.My mum had to sit there and listen to everything.I might have to go to court and tell everyone what happened.How can things get any better.Mum wants me to go back to school tomorrow.I'm not going back.I can't handle all this I can't even tell my friend how sorry I am I feel so ashamed.I am not brave I'm just stupid getting drunk and sleeping with my best friends dad.****ing stupid

Has nobody mentioned counselling for you?

Where I live it would be offered to people who have gone through this sort of situation.

You made a mistake,your friend's father abused a minor,her family was in real trouble long before he seduced you.

I'm amazed that the Police didn't recommend that you speak with a professional mental health care worker.

But, of course, they didn't.

We can tell you over and over that this is not your fault but we can't make you believe that.

How will everyone know about this? In my area these things are NOT published in the newspaper but, if they are, the minor's name is not given. I doubt your friend is going to be telling people about you and her father.

I am still concerned about the alcohol that was involved. Are you allowed to drink alcohol? Do you normally? I'm not blaming you. I'm just wondering how the drinking came to be.

I agree. Counseling seems beneficial in this situation.

I'm going to fourth that counseling is necessary here. If the police didn't recommend it, ask your mom and dad for it. Tell them you need help to sort through what happened and why it happened and the more you try to do it alone the more depressed you get. This is what I see happening.

Honey, you NEED a counselor.

THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!

Unless you tell them, your friends will not know.

Your best friend's family was in trouble before this even happened. YOU are nothing more than the straw that broke the camel's back. If this hadn't happened with you, it would have happened with someone else.

It WILL get better. Maybe not right away tomorrow, but it WILL get better. Please go to school tomorrow and talk to your school counselor about getting help to get through this.

The police gave me a number for SARC (sexual assult resorce centre) so I could make an appointment to speak to a counselor and some other number for victims support for if I have to go to court.Where I live nothing is a secret everyone know everyone's business kids all talk about it we hear our parents talk about, so I know people will know.I'm not allowed to drink alcohol my parents are very strict about alcohol,smoking and drugs but we do drink sometimes we were at my friends house drinking for her birthday her mum was visiting her nanna so her dad said we could drink as long as we didn't tell her mum.Stupid

If people talk,remember that gossips usually find something else to talk about after a week or so.

Of course he said you could drink,so he could set the scene.
That's what predators do.

Call SARC now and make an appointment.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for all the support and information you have given me.With out it I don't think I would have told my mum or gone to the police.I've been to counselling this morning and understand a bit better why it was important for me to tell my parents and why what happened wasn't my fault,although I still do feel as though it was my fault to,he should have know that it was against the law.My mum and me had a big talk,she said she isn't angry at me she is upset at what has happened and dissapointed in the choices I have made.She really wants me to go back to school,I don't really want to but I don't have much choice I'm a little bit worried about going back.But mum is right I am only 15 and it's important for me to finish school I just hope it will be all right.Now I just have to wait and see what happens.So thank you it means a lot that you all have taken the time to help me with my problem.

I just wanted to say thankyou to everyone for all the support and information you have given me.With out it I don't think I would of told my mum or gone to the police.I've been to counselling this morning and understand a bit better why it was important for me to tell my parents and why what happened wasn't my fault,although I still do feel as though it was my fault to,he should of know that it was against the law.My mum and me had a big talk,she said she isn't angry at me she is upset at what has happened and dissapointed in the choices I have made.She really wants me to go back to school,I don't really want to but I don't have much choice i'm a little bit worried about going back.But mum is right I am only 15 and it's important for me to finish school I just hope it will be alright.Now I just have to wait and see what happens.So thank you it means alot that you all have taken the time to help me with my problem.

I just read through this whole thread and while I can't say this is a happy ending, it certainly is better than the alternative. I had a suspicion that your mum wasn't angry with you. If she was really ashamed of you, she wouldn't have hustled you off to the police as she did.

The SARC counselor sounds like a solid professional. You were told a lot of the same things we have told you. Yes, you made some bad choices. But you have learned from them and showed a great deal of bravery for which you and your parents should be proud.

Yes your friend may never forgive you. But I can tell you with a great deal of surety that he would have been caught eventually. I am sure this would have happened again to another girl. Men like that have a compulsion that they can't resist. He may have been abusing your friend and she may, someday, thank you for turning him in.

But I believe you had NO choice but to turn him in. If you didn't he would have kept bothering you. Even if he didn't, you would always worry that he was abusing another girl.

So hold your head up high and go back to school. If anyone questions you about it, tell them you can't discuss it because it is a police matter and walk away.

I just wanted to say thankyou to everyone for all the support and information you have given me.With out it I don't think I would of told my mum or gone to the police.I've been to counselling this morning and understand a bit better why it was important for me to tell my parents and why what happened wasn't my fault,although I still do feel as though it was my fault to,he should of know that it was against the law.My mum and me had a big talk,she said she isn't angry at me she is upset at what has happened and dissapointed in the choices I have made.She really wants me to go back to school,I don't really want to but I don't have much choice i'm a little bit worried about going back.But mum is right I am only 15 and it's important for me to finish school I just hope it will be alright.Now I just have to wait and see what happens.So thank you it means alot that you all have taken the time to help me with my problem.


Well done... you stood up for yourself, and most likely for other girls as well who would have remained silent. You could have said nothing, and taken the chance that this would have happened to someone else.

It takes a tremendously strong person to do what you have done. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or make you feel that you did something wrong.

A mistake was made, you acknowledged that and have learned a valuable lesson from it. You did the right thing... you are showing courage, strength, and maturity in how you are handling a difficult situation.

Surround yourself with your family and trusted friends. They will support you through it.

I just read through this, and I am so proud of you for doing the right thing! I;m not so good with words, but I really hope you continue with your counseling. You will soon understand that this is not your fault at all. What he did was wrong. Very wrong. Your friend may never get over this, and that unfortunately is something you may never have control over.

She feels betrayed, and hurt, and ashamed. She may lash out at you, and unfortunately this happened to you while in high school. The hardest parts are yet to come. Just hold your head up high, and remember, you did the right thing. You have potentially saved another girl from being hurt by him.

I hope you keep us posted. You will be in my thoughts.

Good luck Bella,you're a brave young lady,and you will be fine,once the dust has settled and you've been able to work through what has happened to you.

Come back whenever you need to.