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Justice1872
Apr 15, 2011, 09:57 AM
Please share suggestions for getting over the hurt of being the breakee. My emotions range from anger, hurt, manipulated, taken for granted and used. However, I do not want to play a victim. Being generous and kind, makes the pain more severe, when you know that you tried your best in a relationship.

sharper11
Apr 15, 2011, 10:03 AM
All of your reactions re completely normal. Been there.

Suggestions from me:

Remove ALL memories (photos, love notes, ANYTHING that will remind you of your partner).

Take a Break. Get to know yourself, be single and enjoy life alone for a while.

No Contact. If you are not familiar, search "No Contact Rule".. it is perfect advice for moving on.

- -Hope this help, sorry for your pain, and I hope you get in a good place again soon.

Wondergirl
Apr 15, 2011, 10:09 AM
Actually, you are not a victim, You are the victor.

Just think about it. You could have been stuck in an off-again, on-again relationship with someone who really didn't share your values or have your personal interests at heart. Think of this as a golden opportunity. You've learned tons from the experience, and it's only upward from here.

Now it's time to heal. Spend time doing things that you enjoy -- learning a new hobby, taking a class somewhere at a community college or the nature museum, joining a library book discussion or writers' group, experimenting with cooking or baking new recipes, volunteering at an animal shelter or hospital -- meanwhile making some new friends. Also, spend time with old friends, remembering the good old days as well as making new memories.

If you are feeling bad, come to this site and chat with us. We're always up for a good cry, and then we will smack some enjoyment of life back into you.

sharper11
Apr 15, 2011, 10:14 AM
Sometimes I giggle at your replies :)

Wondergirl
Apr 15, 2011, 10:19 AM
Sometimes I giggle at your replies :)

Hey!! I wrote that after great thought and in total seriousness!! You're giggling?? I'm devastated!

Justice1872
Apr 15, 2011, 10:23 AM
Wondergirl... Is that for me? I didn't understand!! Sorry!!

Wondergirl
Apr 15, 2011, 10:33 AM
Just kidding, Justice. Now I know that at least one person reads my responses. :D

sharper11
Apr 15, 2011, 10:39 AM
LOL. I know the response was serious. . But comment like "we're always up for a good cry, and then we will smack some enjoyment of life back into you.". . def. deserves a giggle :)