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View Full Version : Why do I have to pay child support to my ex when our son lives with his grandma?


mikeandbrittany
Apr 7, 2011, 10:53 PM
My ex lives out of state along with her parents and our son. My son lives with his grandma but Iam paying support to my ex. She also receives welfare for my son, which is fraud, but I have no way of proving that my son lives with his grandma because through his school and through welfare she has listed him as living with her. She left state in 2002 and didn't even tell me. I found out just 2 years ago where my son was. I called the cops on her and they said she can take the kid where ever she wanted without my permission since I didn't have a custody order. I tried to get a custody order, but I couldn't afford all of the money down that the lawyer wanted me to pay all at once. I contacted child support and they told me that unless grandma requests that she receives the support, than there was nothing they could do about the money being paid to my ex. Not too mention, my son wants nothing to do with me and he is 9 years old. He left me a voicemail saying that he wanted me to leave him alone and to stop trying to take him from his mom. He always stated that his mom told him that I didn't love him and that since I have another child that I have full custody of, that he was not important to me anymore. He said leave me alone and never contact me again since you neglected me all my life and you love your other son more than you love me. I don't know what to do now and Im heartbroken that my son is growing up and being told hurtful lies. I recently tried going through free lawyers but they said Iam over the income guidelines. I can't afford the amount of money all at once that the lawyers want. I have a special needs son whom I have full custody of and not receiving child support for nor food stamps or SSI for. What can I do to get my son back into my life after so many years?

vikiviki
Apr 8, 2011, 12:05 AM
If you can not afford legal fees, you can seek the media help to seek justice.
If you ex can not afford the mother's responsibility and obligations, you certainly can regain your son's custody, but you need have enough evidence to prove that your ex have not responsibility and obligations at all.
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mikeandbrittany
Apr 8, 2011, 01:00 AM
Thank you vikiviki. I have proof that she moved back to IL for at least 2 months. I received a letter a few weeks ago saying that I was behind almost 700 in child support, which Iam not. I called the 800 number and they said disreguard the letter. They didn't receive my payments in the Indiana office because my ex was collecting straight from the office in IL. Apparently she didn't notify Indiana that she was moving to IL and that she changed the payments to direct pay instead of going through the offices. Confusing I Know! But she moved back to Indiana and started the payments through them again. She told them that she moved to IL and now back to Indiana so she needed her payments sent back through the Indiana office. But my son was not with her in IL. So maybe I can get school records or something proving that she didn't move our son with her but was still claiming him. But all she really has to say is that it was a temporary move and wanted him to finish school before moving him?