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View Full Version : How to agree boy firmly and convince his parents?


angel.angel
Apr 4, 2011, 05:49 AM
Hello Friends ,

I want suggestions and help from you . Hope you all will help.

My case details are as follow.

I and my boy friend are in relationship since 7 years. We decided to merry after four years of our relationship.
He had quite firm and neutral in relationship. We both decided to convince our family slowly and handle matters nicely.
We both having similar family background and same life style. We both are highly educated . He is CA and I did MCA.
I done it from my part.. From my place my parent took and taken almost 5months to agree.
But now situation is that from his place they saying

---> You can not do in inter cast.(They are brahmin and I belong from high cast vaishnav family)
---> No one in his family did like that. If you do our family will loose social respect.
---> And typical Indian drama also happening.( Emotional blackmailing like as we are your parents , we having right to choose life partner for you etc... )

And now my boyfriend is also saying that he can not over rule his parents. And even saying me too keep friendship with me.
How I convince him and how his family too?

Or what should I do ?

DoulaLC
Apr 4, 2011, 01:50 PM
You are in a very difficult situation. As with any religion or social norms, people will have different points of view. Some will old strongly to older ways of the past, others will have relaxed their views and become more accepting, while others don't follow much of anything in how they were raised.

That is just it... it often is simply no more than where you happened to be born, and the family you were born into, that determines what your point of view or beliefs may be.

In many cultures, to go against your parents' wishes is very difficult, and it is just not done, no matter how much you may disagree with them on a matter.

If your boyfriend is set in not wanting to overrule his parents, or continue to try and convince them that this is a good match, then you have little choice but to end the relationship, as painful as that may be.

Some would say that the two of you are adults, you should be able to make your own choices, but I know in many cultures that is not so easy to do.

It is unfortunate that he was persuaded to change his mind from what the two of you had planned... and for such a long time as well. I am very sorry that it is not turning out as you had hoped it would.

Sumitkumar7266
Apr 7, 2011, 10:46 PM
As simple.. If he is not having will to do this then you can't convince him.. U did it from your side but he is losing the hope now only.. If he has committed he should try hard.. If he is not doing this then he is cheating you.. Leave him ASAP..

ajwain
Apr 14, 2011, 11:29 AM
If your boyfriend has already given up there is very little you can do.. its really tough after so many years to let go of a loved one.. just one last time try to convince him.. even then he is d same.. you have to let him go and start a new life.. its for your own good.. some things are not in our hands

hymaira.ashraf
Jul 14, 2011, 05:18 AM
I know its hard I'm going through this insallah they agree

They right guy isn't bother start new life