Hi, I'm 24 and am from the south of africa... I have a very good male friend, we grew up together, as our mothers were very close, we have so much in common, same age, both grew up with single moms, don't have any siblings etc... a few years ago he moved to New York with his mom, I was still young then and his mom used to call my mom every other week and still visits us in africa sometimes, but I haven't seen him in years... then we lost contact for years... 2 years ago, I searched him on Facebook and we reconnected again, I was overwhelmed and we've been talking, skyping, facebooking etc every single day since, he orders flowers for me to be delivered and I talk to him about everything... and he is coming to africa to see me for a few weeks in about 4 months time. I am in love with him, he knows what to say and he always cheers me up... we have so many memories from when we were kids... anyway, he is now living with his girlfriend, in New York still, and they share a bed... he told me that he doesn't really love her, that he loves me but he is sharing rent expenses and stuff, and he gets lonely so shez just keeping him company so to say... I am so hurt and so jealous... but then again I can't expect him to be all alone and lonely... I'm mad at him and I'm ignoring his messages because he even has a pic of him with his girl on Facebook, as a profile picture... I don't know what to do... I'm hurt and we are so far apart, should I wait for him to come? Or should I forget? I feel so stupid because I haven't even kissed him since we are an ocean apart.. but its on my mind every day... I need to heal...

OMG!!

You are complaining about an abusive situation with your baby daddy,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/living-another-country-baby-daddy-am-being-emotionally-abused-him-567711.html

And now you want to talk a long time friend into joining you in cheating on mates that neither of you care for.

Cancel those plans and go home to mother, and get yourself all the help you need to get your head straight. Please hurry, your child needs you healthy, physically, and mentally!!

You really need to listen to the advice given here and get yourself out of that situation.

Professional counseling would be a great benefit to help you out of a mind frame that would even think of staying in your situation.

There is no question that you should go home.

No no no, the first question is on behalf of my friend who is stuck in another country and I need answers that I can forward to her.. thanks to everybody, I don't have a child and I don't have a boyfriend but I'm very much in love with the guy friend on my second question... as for my girl, this is what she is telling me every day and I'm trying to get her out of the mess but she won't listen to me.. so maybe if other people tell her that she should get out of the relationship and come home, it will be better than just ME telling her... sorry again and thanks for all the advice.. even though its mixed up..