Hi all,
I have this kind of strange relationship with one of my colleague in the office. I am gay, and I think he knows that I am gay, because he always makes jokes about me liking boys instead of girls. He is very kind to me and spent most of his time with me instead of his long-time girlfriend (soon to be his wife though). We always had like a great time together, hanging out together just the 2 of us.
So recently both of us stayed at a hotel in the same room. He asked me about the possibility of making 3-some with a girl. But I was kind of not OK with the idea of hiring a prostitute for that reason.
In the end, We talked about sex life, mostly his. But we didn't make any moves, so it was just nothing happened.
I am kind of confused what kind of relationship do we have here? I wonder if we already cross the boundary of friendship, because you know he sometimes let me play with his leg and arm hairs, fingers.
From my observation he is straight, because visually it is women whom he is attracted to. His former sex-experience (from what he told me) are all with girls, and he never express anything with gay-impression on me.
I actually don't want any relationship, because I want to focus on my career but this feeling is killing me...
Please help me... I am confused, I wish I could just get over him
Thanks in advance

It doesn't sound like there is anything to get over except you crossing the boundaries of good behavior with a friend and getting carried away by your own feelings.

That's the only problem I see.

Thanks for the reply,
What would you suggest me to do? I have already feeling for him
It is so hard to push away this feeling, because we work together closely, so I can't avoid him.
I am also afraid of harming our friendship if I move too far... I am not so sure if he is bi-curious or if he really has romantic affection towards me, or it could be just me misinterpreting all the signals.

I would say at the most, he is bi courious, but he has a girlfriend, soon to be wife, so even if he was interested, he is not available.

I would say bi curious at the most.

My gosh guy, it doesn't matter what he is, or what his agenda is, you don't mess with a guy who has serious commitments with someone else. Period. Its totally your responsibility to stay within the boundaries of good behavior, and not allow yourself to get carried away by your own feelings, for this co worker. That's really simple, even if controlling yourself is difficult.

Maybe you cannot control who you have feelings for, but you can control what you do about those feelings. Keep it strictly business with none of that flirty, touchy feely stuff. Or pay the consequences of your own actions.

Thanks for the reply,
That would be easy if he doesn't keep flirting with me at work AND off-work (while we are hanging out together)
As he told me everything about him, I can tell the guy is actually a jerk, because he actually had several sexual AND romantic affairs with other girls despite having a long time girlfriend.
The worst thing is I was kind of attracted to this kind of ****... sexually
I am completely aware of this stupidity so I wouldn't even think to have a relationship with him at all.
But I like having him also as a good friend, so I don't want to get distance from him, but it would make even harder for me to overcome the attraction.

A friend who lies, cheats, and uses others? That's not a friend to have in my book.

It's not like that... he is a kind guy with a great sense of humor. I like also the fact he cares for his friends (and his girlfriends)
He is willing to give up his free time, give up his interest for us. His big flaw is he can't love only just one person.
I wouldn't judge him because I know certain people are just like that.
Thanks

If he can't commit to one person,he's not capable of loving anyone.
Least of all himself.