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View Full Version : Really confused and need advice


lost900
Mar 26, 2011, 03:59 PM
OK for about three months now I have know this really amazing girl. Just as soon as we met we instantly liked each other a lot(with both us claiming this was our best relationship due to past ones) she was so many things that made me proud to be with her she was smart,funny, extremely active in her church(she plays guitar in the her youth band) and has a strong faith in god.

Well everything was going great until last week she started to act extremely depressed and starting telling me that she felt that she was going to screw us up and that everything was going to fall to pieces and afraid of hurting me. I been trying my hardest to reassure her and think more positive on us but it seemed like she kept pushing me aside(we never fought or argued everything seemed fine).

Well she broke up with me last Friday as she felt that god was telling her to not be with anyone right now and she felt she should listen. Well I been trying to understanding and supportive but as of late I feel like I'm acting selfish and feeling sorry for myself something that has been annoying me and I have not been face to face with her since last Friday as I feel I need to give her space (but she has made the first contact with me on Facebook the last few days) and with everyday I keep getting more information on things like with her still having a slight crush on her ex and still having a huge one on me.

Well I have come to some sort of conclusion that she had lied about god telling her to not be in a relationship with anyone cause I have found out today that she had gotten back with her ex today. It really does upset me cause she was not just telling me but also some of her good friends as well that she should stay single like the lord ask her to, but then she tells just one person that god was telling her to go back to her ex.

Of course all of us did not believe this guy but after today it was reveled he was right. Right now I just feel so hurt at the fact that she had to lied and it really makes me question what we had was real at all.like for example we had hung out after school that Friday two hours before she broke up with me I really don't see why she could not do it then and not over Facebook. I guess in a sense her just telling me that she was breaking up with me for her ex would have hurt a lot less than having find out a week later and being lied to...

Wondergirl
Mar 26, 2011, 04:11 PM
Boy! God was really busy sending her messages! That's a first for me (a preacher's kid), to hear someone making God the reason for taking a break or breaking up.

As a female, I'm guessing she didn't have the guts to tell you that she wanted to get back with her ex (so yes, your conclusion is undoubtedly correct). She cast about for a "good reason" (i.e. direct message from God) to push you aside until she had checked out the ex and decided he was what she wanted. (You realize he has probably been making moves in her direction for a while.)

You had a fantastic situation for three months. Now take the good memories you've come away with and the useful things you've learned, and get back into life. Amazing girls are waiting for you!

talaniman
Mar 26, 2011, 07:37 PM
You are very perceptive my young friend, as your take on the situation was dead on. This is one to chalk up to experience though, as even church girls can fall to human frailties like lying, and fear that made her a coward.

She should have been straight and honest, but wasn't. Not just to you, but a lot of her friends, and herself. The shame was that she brought Gods name into it. Now that's plain desperate.

You may have to see this as a blessing in disguise.

amicon
Mar 26, 2011, 11:11 PM
See it as a lucky escape,she comes across as an extremely immature cowardly liar.

Go no contact-stay off her,(or God's?) messages on FB and go back to living your own life,doing your own thing.