Hi, I'm 19 years old and just went through my first break up ever with my first love. We had been dating for 3 years, and we were each others firsts for everything. We were each others best friends, and could tell each other everything. We had a great relationship and we were both very open and good at communicating with each other when things were bothering us. The relationship was pretty serious and he even gave me a promise ring on our 6 month anniversary. We had also talked about marriage and how we didn't want anyone but each other. We had the same sense of humor, liked the same things, and really didn't fight that much. When we did fight, usually we could talk it out right away and sort out the problem. We were extremely happy and supported each other in every way possible. It seemed perfect.

It was right after Christmas that things started going downhill. I could tell we were drifting apart. He didn't call or text me as much, and he just seemed to busy with his friends or his car to be with me. I felt like his last priority. It wasn't long until this situation turned into a big fight, the worst fight we ever had. In the end we talked it out and stayed with each other, but things didn't feel the same after that. We decided to take a month long break where we wouldn't talk at all. I didn't like this, but I did it for him.

A month went by and we met up. He said that because of his new career, which has to do with his car, he doesn't have time for a relationship right now. He said he didn't think it was fair to stay in this is relationship if he can't put the same amount of effort in as I do. He said he just wants to focus on his career and nothing else right now. He also said he's not ready to think about marriage anymore either. I thought it was something I did, but he assured me many times that I didn't do anything wrong, he just couldn't emotionally handle a relationship and since he would be away a lot he wouldn't get to see me. I told him I didn't care and we could work around it but his mind was made up. I told him he'll probably go off and find someone else but he said he doesn't want anyone right now, and he said when he does want to date again, I would be his first choice. He says he still loves me, and he wishes this could work out because it's hurting him just as bad. I just don't understand how it's hurting him if he decided to walk away.

So the relationship was over and at first I went crazy calling him and texting him to change his mind. But I soon realized that made me look too desperate and stupid so I stopped. I talked to him a few nights later when I was in a better state of mind and apologized for acting crazy and stupid. He said he understood why and said it was OK. We talked things out and I told him I understand he doesn't have time for me right now and I know why he broke it off. I told him we both need time for just us right now and when the time comes for us to start dating again; hopefully we'll both choose each other. He agreed and said he didn't want to close the door completely on our relationship. He said hopefully we can try again when we both have time and our schedules don't clash. I also asked if we should give back the stuff we got each other, he said no because it reminded him of good times and he didn't want to lose those memories. We ended on good terms and he said we could still be friends and talk every once in awhile, but for the first few weeks we won't talk just so it's easier on us.

So now it's been over a month, and he hasn't called or texted me at all. I feel like he's totally forgotten about me and doesn't care at all. I've tried texting him once just to see how he's doing but he didn't reply. My friends are telling me to forget him since all he cares about is his career, and he chose his car over me. I just can't get him off my mind though, I really want us to be together and it just doesn't seem over for good to me. I'm just really upset and wish he would at least talk to me. I saw a picture of him on Facebook 2 weeks after the breakup with his friends at an event and he didn't look upset at all. He looked all dressed up like nothing bad had even happened. That really pissed me off and I haven't been on his fb since because it's too hard to look at. I'm just so upset and want us to get back together, but I feel like he doesn't and he's moving on. Will we ever get back together? Or is it a lost cause? I feel like each day we go without talking I lose the hope of us getting back together. I just don't know what to think and I hate going through this situation. What should I do? Help :(

You need to start moving on and get your own life back on track.

He's giving you no indication that he is thinking about getting back with you and please realise that this relationship is,sadly,over.

Some things just aren't meant to be,so don't hang around in limbo anylonger-move forwards and eventually be happy again.

He is busy with other things that make him happy, while you sit and hold on to what was. He is doing the right things for himself, and you should accept what has changed, and follow his lead by doing things that make you happy. Then you can let go, and move forward, as he has, a little bit every day.

Break ups suck don't they, especially when you don't want them to end, especially the first one. But they all suck, the first one or the 29th one. His priorities changed, and eventually, so will yours, but for now it just hurts, and that's okay, you will learn how to deal with your pain with family and friends to support you while you get to the point of letting go.

It's a painful process, and you do have to leave him alone and focus on yourself, especially stay off his Facebook. The thing we never understand is why they seem so happy and we are not. Its simple really when you think about it, because they have had more time to make their decision, and you didn't have the same choice, or time to accept their decision. And of course you don't agree with their decision either.

What's done is done, so now you heal, and find your own happiness, without him.

You are still so young! Go and enjoy your life without him. To make things easier I think you should delete him off Facebook and his number off your phone. You need to move on. He shouldn't have left you with false hope of maybe getting back together one day because that will only make it harder for you to get over him.
When one of girlfriend broke up with her boyfriend she moved in with me and she spent her time making new friends and surrounding herself with people all the time, now 12 months on she is the happiest she has ever been!
Go find who you are as an individual!

Your so younqq I understand the was your first but you are goinqq to meet A lot of new people out der I mean try too get over him and meet new quys if it doesn't work out then you could try to qet back with that person :)

Thanks everyone foe your advice :) I feel a lot better about the situation already, thanks again!!

Thanks for letting us know!
Good luck.