Introduction to myself:
-im 18
-I play lots of video games
-I smoke a lot of marijuana. (I even smoke a tiny bit before school usually or at lunch. I find myself to not be as depressed, and it allows me to focus and relax. Unless I do too much of course.
-I never had a girlfriend
-I have no problem with the way I look accept for my abs are not ripped, but I am not fat or ugly. Girls think I'm attractive.
-I like to talk a lot. I find it easy to go on and on about something that I am trying to explain to somebody.
-I used to all the sports until I broke my leg playing hockey in 8th grade. I was never very good at any sports either.

Problem Senario 1
When socialize with people I am quiet unless I know everybody and are comfortable. (thats when I used to hang out with friends) And when I talk to a girl who I find attractive and do not know, my face gets red and I freeze up. But I am confused because this does not happen when I am talking to a girl who I know or am comfortable with. All girls that I am comfortable with have a friend relationship with me. And it doesn't always happen. I find it to happen less when I am with a group of people like 3 or 4 that I know, and we are just having a coversation about something. Then I am able to speak if I keep my mind focused which is near impossible with ADHD. Even with the medication.

EXAMPLE:
This very attractive girl that I know in class smiled at me with a really big smile and I was not expecting it. I didn't know how to react. I begin to blush. Then I blushed really hard when everyone started noticing.

Problem Senario 2:
And it's not just girls, but when I feel I have made a remark that people don't like or think is weird, then I get red face and freeze up.

EXAMPLE:
One time I was with a group at school doing a project. I didn't really know them that well we are just classmates and we were all men. I said something in an out of the box kind of way and they were like "what?". That makes me freeze up, and I used to leave school sometimes or even feel like I'm in a deep dark hole of depression.

What happened to me over time:
I started to become boring and weird in the eyes of most people. Myself confidence bounces all over the place it seems like. I blame it on my ADHD though. The pill I think makes me focused and depressed. I am like e-ore from whinny the poo. Im clueless 24/7 and can't focus at all.

Additional information:
I am not always a shy person though. Its only when I think of what people are thinking about or what I am going to say or when something gets said where I don't know what to say.

Please help me!
Tell me what you think is my problem.
Or tell me what I should do to help myself? I have suicide thoughts sometimes when I get in a depressed mood sometimes and I need to end this.

Isn't MJ a depressant? I know it is a dangerous mix when you are taking medication for ADHD.

Have you spoken to a mental health professional, particularly about your thoughts of suicide?

MJ might be a depressant. But it got me through those times. And I heard depressants and anti depressants switch in someone who has ADD. Also, ADHD brain is hyper. The last two letters mean "hyper activity". Marijuana slows down this and actually allows me to think and speak like a normal person does.

Suicide thoughts only happen when I am in a state of deep depression, and I don't ever cut myself or anything. So I don't think it's a big problem.

Why is it a dangerous mix?

MJ is NOT getting you through hard times - based on what you've posted. Whether it's helping or hindering only you know.

And it's a dangerous mix for exactly the reason you posted - it changes the way your other medication works.

And suicidal thoughts ARE a problem.

I agree that MJ did not get me through hard times. An ephifany did. MJ did help with depression for sure though!

Yes I realize its just a habit I have to smoke weed every day. But I know the health risks, benefits, facts, statistics. I am going to try to stop this habit now that I am confident. . I do not look down upon myself for smoking it and I will continue to do so. I know the most dangerous thing is that it's a gateway drug. But I know my drugs.

And my suggestion that you should speak to someone about your other problems and thoughts of suicide - ?

Your problems are twofold.

First, you smoke pot AND take meds for ADHD. They conteract each other. Pot is a depressant and meds for ADHD are stimulants. When both are used, neither gets the benefit and you are just throwing your money away.

Second, you live in a world of fantasy by playing video games.. a lot. Girls aren't into video games.

Get off the pot, quit the video games and learn to live in reality.