Hi. Ive been seeing my boyfriend for the last year and a half. The first six to nine months was amazing. We would see each for coffee and occasionally spend the night at hotel. We took things really easy as I have two children from a previous relationship and he is the first man I have been with since then. However he then enrolled at university on a full time course which I was really happy for him about. I told him I would support him and not become the needy clingy girlfriend cliché. I had no intention of standing in his way. The thing is up until he began the course we didn't see a lot of each other but just before he started we both told each other we loved one another and wanted to see more of one another. I introduced him to my children and he would stay over. He then began the course and after about a month in he had completely changed from a man who would call me nearly every night and always text, to someone who would forget to call until the end of the week. I realised how busy he would be and so didn't call him in the week ( If I did it would go to answer phone ).
I confronted him about it and asked if he could text me one day in the week as it would be nice to know he was thinking of me. He agreed and that was until the last few months where we got into this horrible scenario of me not hearing anything all week and then suddenly he's asking to see me on the weekend. He comes , we have sex ,we argue and he leaves the next day. He lives 3 hours away and each time we argue he threatens to leave me. It seems like I can't have a normal dispute with my boyfriend without him threatening to leave me so Ive become a shadow of myself. To top it all of in the new year one of the contracts I was working on came to an end so Ive been frantically searching for work. I feel he patronises me about this. I was called for an interview and he said 'well done you seem to be being more proactive lately'. I was always pro active, that's how I got the interview!
The thing is I think he plays mind games with me, either that or he has an exremely short fuse. If we argue he will literally walk out of the house to make the 3 hour journey home and then not call me. Its been over a week sometimes and Im always the one who breaks the silence.
Im scared to speak up about my true feelings for fear of this. I wish I was stronger and could deal with the silence. I live on my own with my two children. They don't see there dad (his choice) and I have no family. There is only me and the children. No auntys grannies etc. I get very lonely and find it hard to get work because of lack of childcare. I also find it hard to socialise for the same reason. I get very defensive when he tells me I need to get a distraction. How dare he, I have my children to care for and my home and my job. He thinks my world revolves around him. Im just feeling like Im with someone who is Jekyll and hide. Then last weekend after he had arrived Saturday night saying that he would bring his work with him snd stay Sunday he woke up Sunday morning at nine and told me he had to go. That he had loads to do, I said I thought he was going to do his work with me and that just infuriated him. I went downstairs to make us both a coffee and he continued to be cold. I couldn't help myself and asked what Id done. He tols me he didn't want to be with me anymore.I was so confused and asked why over and over and he said because he didn't trust me. He thought I was only with him because when he qualifies he'll be a professional and be on a good wage. I slapped him across the face and collapsed on the floor. I feel like scum and can't believe I could do that. I didn't have warning to control myslef. That's the worst part, I reacted without thought and just out of pure rage.
Please advise, am I a monster. I felt and have felt like a whore all this time that he comes over each weekend then goes so suddenly. Im not clingy, Ive told him not to come if he has too much work to do but he's insisted. I just can't take the switch in mood from wanting to be with me and then leaving literally the following morning.
To wait all week to see him and then only see him one night when I was wanting to be with him the next day, even just to let him get on with his but have him nearby would have been lovely. Like I said I would rather he didn't come at all if he's too busy. This is breaking my heart.

You're chasing him and he's running away, except when he comes around for sex it seems. So does he actually care for you or are you his booty call? I would back off and see if he puts the work into chasing you. At least you will know where you stand then.

It also sounds like he has become a bit 'up himself' since starting this course. If he thinks he has you at his beck and call, maybe he has forgotten to respect you. So respect yourself and don't build your world around someone who isn't returning that.

If he has emotionally checked out you might as well let him go altogether. He will eventually anyway if that's how he is feeling. If he is going to invest anything more in the relationship then it has to come from him.