My sister wants to move out of her boyfriends parents house because they no longer get along and they have a baby together, so I went to pick her up so she and the baby can come stay with me. But as soon as I got there the boyfriends parents picked up the baby and told my sister that she can't take the baby. Then we called the police but they said if the dad doesn't want the baby to go then the baby doesn't have to go. Is this right? My sister is not happy there. You can tell it in her face. How can we get her to come with me with the baby?

If she just leaves with the baby is it considered kid napping?

Please help me out in this situation. Thank you!

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if she just leaves with the baby is it considered kid napping?
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No, but the police were right. Parents of a child have shared custody, unless one parent or the other gets a court order giving one or the other more specific custodial rights. So, if the father won't let her take the baby, she can't force him to, without going to court.

The mom has rights over the father if they are not married.She doesn't need baby daddy permission, if they are not married...

So she can like sneak out with her baby without getting in trouble?

The mom has rights over the father if they are not married. ....

Incorrect. Where did you get this idea?

Now, if the father's identity is unknown, and no father is named on the BC, that might be a different story.


... She doesnt need baby daddy permission,,if they are not married....
She doesn't need Daddy's permission whether they are married. But they can't each take a limb of the baby and start pulling, can they?


so she can like sneak out with her baby without gettin in trouble?

Essentially, yes. But she can't subsequently hide from the father. That may be considered parental kidnapping.

The mom has rights over the father if they are not married.She doesnt need baby daddy permission,,if they are not married....

This is not at all correct. Parents have equal rights and absent a court order possession is what counts.

To Salinas.
The police were correct. The problem here is the grandparents are not the father and don't have such rights. If she just takes the baby, its not kidnapping unless she tries to hide the child from the father. However, the courts will not look kindly with one parent keeping the child from the other.

So your sister is better served by going to court and applying for primary physical custody. Courts are likely to favor the mother especially with an infant.

IM NOT A LAWYER.. but if she isn't married... He can't stop her from taking her child.. I went threw same thing in Missouri so many years ago... And that's what my lawyer told me... Good luck..

Mammaju, please stop using the comment feature to give answers, actually go to the answer box, normally at bottom of thread and actually answer the question.

Next sorry, if both or on the birth certificate you are wrong, the mother does not have automatic custody, but will normally get it, if she files for it, at least joint

Comment on salinasbates201's post
IM NOT A LAWYER.. but if she isn't married... He can't stop her from taking her child.. I went threw same thing in Missouri so many years ago... And that's what my lawyer told me... Good luck..

This is PARTIALLY true in Missouri. See Unwed Fathers' Rights in Missouri | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/list_6685993_unwed-fathers_-rights-missouri.html). But I don't believe its common and we don't know where the OP is. We also don't know whether any court action has been taken. In general, both parents have equal rights pending court action.

... This is PARTIALLY true in Missouri. See Unwed Fathers' Rights in Missouri | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/list_6685993_unwed-fathers_-rights-missouri.html). But I don't believe its common and we don't know where the OP is. We also don't know whether any court action has been taken. In general, both parents have equal rights pending court action.

ScottGemm, I don't see anything in the blog you linked to which would substantiate Mammaju's position.

There is one sentence, "The mother cannot ask for child support, and the father cannot ask for custody or visitation." which suggests something interesting, but even that suggestion is contradicted by the following sentence, "If a court order establishes paternity, custody, visitation and child support can be requested."

One would have to go to the original source: the Missouri statutes.

452.375.
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8. As between the parents of a child, no preference may be given to either parent in the awarding of custody because of that parent's age, sex, or financial status, nor because of the age or sex of the child.
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2009 Missouri Code Title XXX DOMESTIC RELATIONS Chapter 452 Dissolution of Marriage, Divorce, Alimony and Separate Maintenance 452.375. Custody--definitions--factors determining custody--prohibited, when--public policy of state--custody options plan, (http://law.justia.com/codes/missouri/2009/t30/c452/452_375.html)

"(1976) The desirability of awarding custody of children of tender years, especially girls, to their mother should not be indulged in to the extent of excluding all other relevant matters. R.G.T. v. Y.G.T. (A.), 543 S.W.2d 330."

Do you guys know the law in Colorado? And another thing the family won't let my sister leave the house with the baby, not even to the park or anything, isn't that considered kidnappin? She just turned 19.

Do you guys know the law in Colorado? And another thing the family won't let my sister leave the house with the baby, not even to the park or anything, isn't that considered kidnappin? She just turned 19.

And another thing the family won't let my sister leave the house with the baby, not even to the park or anything, isn't that considered kidnappin? She just turned 19.

ScottGemm, I don't see anything in the blog you linked to which would substantiate Mammaju's position.



Umm what about this:

However, this affidavit does not grant him custody, visitation or child support rights. For those rights, he must file a paternity suit that grants him the right to petition for custody of his child.

do you guys know the law in colorado? and another thing the family wont let my sister leave the house with the baby, not even to the park or anything, isnt that considered kidnappin? she just turned 19.

Se has to go to court to formalize custody/ But they can't legally keep the child a prisoner. Unless, however, the police will support her rights, she has to go to court to confirm them.

OK so if I go to pick her up and she has the baby in her hands they can't hold her in the house or try to take the baby from her?

It depends on how far they want to go. Also, I previously told you, she doesn't want to do anything by force. Again, use the courts. Let them be the bad guys.

OK thank you for your help!

Who does the baby belong to, you, your mom, your sister ?

If it is your sisters baby, and your sister is 19 she can do and go anywhere she wants with the baby.

In turn if she lives with family and not her own home, they may also kick her out if she does not do what they want.

And no it is not illegal, since your sister is allowing them to make the rules, and remaining in their home, she may do what she wants and take the baby, they can not stop her.
If they physcially stop her with force then they are breaking the law.

OK thank you! I'm trying to get some info so my sister nor I get in trouble. And the baby belongs to my sister and her boyfriend and they are staying at the boyfriends parents house.

Sorry I'm new to this but I went to see a lawyer and no in Missouri an until paternity is estab.. the unwed father cannot take a baby away from the mother.. He has to get visitation rights.. Since this father is on felony probation I shouldn't have problem getting full custody.. I don't want child support.. Just peace..

sorry I'm new to this but I went to see a lawyer and no in Missouri an until paternity is estab.. the unwed father cannot take a baby away from the mother.. He has to get visitation rights..

While that is true, it doesn't apply to the OP in this case. You don't know if paternity has been established, you don't know where they live (at least not initially) And the mother was living with the boyfriend so there wasn't an issue of taking the child from the mother. And that's the problem. You were giving advice based on your circumstances without knowing whether they applied to the questioner.

Mammaju originally said this:
"IM NOT A LAWYER..but if she isnt married...He can't stop her from taking her child..I went threw same thing in Missouri soo many years ago...And thats what my lawyer told me...Good luck.."

I didn't see anything in Missouri statutes which would substantiate this statement. Then ScottGem said this:


Umm what about this:

However, this affidavit does not grant him custody, visitation or child support rights. For those rights, he must file a paternity suit that grants him the right to petition for custody of his child.

So, the long and the short of it is

the "general rule" as I understand it is that, absent a court order, a birth-certificate-father can get away with not allowing the child's mother to go away with the child.
Mamma says that some Missouri lawyer advised her, years ago, something that may or may not be in conflict with that general statement.
I didn't see anything that specifically supports the unidentified Missouri lawyer's dictum ("He can't stop her from taking her child").
You apparently are quoting something ("affidavit does not grant him custody, ... rights"), but I fail to see how that contradicts with what I am saying.


"Possession (for want of a more appropriate term) is 9/10 of the law", as the old saying goes. He, being the father, can keep the child until a court of law says otherwise. Mom's "rights" don't trump Dad's "rights", and neither you nor Momma have cited anything to contradict that statement.

We're talking apples and oranges here. OP posed the situation where the parents were living together and the mom wants to take the bably and leave. Momma is talking about a different fact pattern: father going to mother (already living separately, I suspect) and claiming a "right" to take the child from her.

The mother can take the baby, but if the father says "no, I won't allow it", they can't get into a wrestling match over it and the police won't intervene (absent a breach of the peace). So if, for example, he holds the baby in his arms, Mom can't pull the baby out of his arms. But if he sets the baby down, Mom can grab the baby and leave - and then Dad can't stop her. There is a fine line here.