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View Full Version : Can a sex buddy become my boyfriend?


confused1992
Mar 7, 2011, 12:47 PM
Okay,
So I started hanging out with this guy about 4 months ago through a mutal friend of ours. Started by maybe seeing each other every weekend, then as time went by we started seeing each other more and more but still with this same friend of ours. After about 2 months then we started hanging out occasionally just me and him, nothing but friends no flitation of any kind. Then after about a month of that there were occasional make-out sessions while we were intoxicated and mild flirting while sober that countinued up until now where we see each other almost every day, spend the weekends with each other, we do have sex, all our friends know, he kisses me in public and around our friends always flirty, only thing that bothers me is whenever someone asks if we are dating he says "no" and that's it. No explanation or anything. Is there anything I can do to test him and see if he has actual feelings for me? Id rather avoid "the talk" about "us" if it isn't needed.

Wondergirl
Mar 7, 2011, 12:54 PM
Test: stop hanging out with him, and avoid being around him.

confused1992
Mar 7, 2011, 12:59 PM
I'm a little worried about that... I like how things are... id like it to be a little more official though... im worried if I stop seeing him/texting/hanging out with him it will send the wrong signals?

Cat1864
Mar 7, 2011, 01:01 PM
Is this the same person: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/relationship-worth-pursuing-525148.html?

May I ask why you want to play games by 'testing' him, instead of ending the confusion by communicating with him?

confused1992
Mar 7, 2011, 01:10 PM
No, this is a completely different guy. And I guess I don't to have the talk because I'm not sure what he will say... hes never brought it up and neither have I, and I wouldn't bring it up except I'm deffinatly starting to get my lines blurred. Its OBVIOUS its not just sex anymore...

talaniman
Mar 7, 2011, 02:04 PM
I think your lack of willingness to honestly communicate will bite you in the butt. Its never good for a couple having sex to not be able to talk.

This may be more than just sex to you but never assume someone has the same feelings that you do, never. I highly advise you to have that talk before you share your bodies again. I'm not a prude by any means but sex and dinner, don't mean love, and games are never a replacement for honest communications, and fear will lead you down a crooked path. Ask me how I know!!

Cat1864
Mar 7, 2011, 02:15 PM
Confused, I understand fear. However, I know that there are times when you have to face the fear instead of letting it control your thought process. It is a part of taking care of yourself.

Today, it is about whether there is a relationship.

Tomorrow, it could be the need to discuss an illness or unplanned pregnancy.

Wouldn't you rather know for certain where you stand with him now than have to find out later that he wasn't as invested in the relationship as you became?