ALLrational
Mar 3, 2011, 01:41 PM
I am 21 my girlfriend is 19
My girl friend and I have been in going out for 2 years.
Every free time we get we see each other and the relationship is passionate and positive.
At one point she was very clingy but I never complained
I might have been a little pushy due to her clinginess. I started working more and telling her I will call her back.
Slowly she started to back off and she always tells me she loves me and misses me.
Then we started to get into petty arguments, not frequently. Like if we saw each other 5 days out of the week, 1 of those days we would argue for about an hour.
Are arguments consisted of small gestures, tone of voice and attitude of each other, which I admit is really petty because I small gesture could lead into pulling in past arguments and it just made the arguments feel a lot more prolonged.
We were happy and having fun last week but another argument occurred and I got into the habit of doing silent treatments so I ignored her for a whole day which it was my first time ignoring her for 24 hours.
The next day she went cold turkey on me and said she doesn't want to do the relationship anymore and wants a break. I got mad because I felt like she said that to make me mad due to her impulsive nature (not always a bad thing).
When I realized the seriousness I stopped yelling at her and apologized.
I would call and she would keep the convos short and she stressed that she loves me, and is attracted to me and that we have amazing intercourse but just doesn't love the relationship right now, because its building on top of other stresses and needs time to have her individualism again because she revolved her whole relationship around me and wants to reconnect with friends because she alienated them because she didn't know how to balance me and them and chose me with no hesitation. My girlfriend is the kind to say what ever is on her mind, so she is constantly taking her words back and changing her mind (emotional) but very honest.
Yesterday at 5 am she called and told me to go over her house.
When I went to her house she said she didn't want to get back together and still gave me vibes that there was still some type of tension. Later in the day while we were talking she warmed up to me and started playing and laughing like we were still in a relationship and we ended up kissing and engaged in intercourse. It felt like we were together again holding hands outside and eating together, cracking jokes. But every time I asked if we were dating again she said she needs more time and changed the subject but never put me down hard. The cold turkey stage was over.
Throughout the day she continued to text me, told me she would cook for me and we were joking on each other. She was calling me babe and kept initiating the conversation.
I haven't asked about the relationship since I've left her house which was yesterday mid day.
Im sure I can get her back but I would like to know how long. And I'm sure I could set in motion things she could think about to quicken her decision but I need opinions before I try anything.
1)What am I suppose to think of all this?
2)What is she thinking? Why come to that decision?
3)What she needs to think about for us to work out?
4)Im sure she missed me which is why she called, But why did she act all lovey dovey and not want to be in the relationship yet?
5)(for people with experience) how long of space did you/your partner require before going back out or breaking up completely.
Thanks for the answers
My girl friend and I have been in going out for 2 years.
Every free time we get we see each other and the relationship is passionate and positive.
At one point she was very clingy but I never complained
I might have been a little pushy due to her clinginess. I started working more and telling her I will call her back.
Slowly she started to back off and she always tells me she loves me and misses me.
Then we started to get into petty arguments, not frequently. Like if we saw each other 5 days out of the week, 1 of those days we would argue for about an hour.
Are arguments consisted of small gestures, tone of voice and attitude of each other, which I admit is really petty because I small gesture could lead into pulling in past arguments and it just made the arguments feel a lot more prolonged.
We were happy and having fun last week but another argument occurred and I got into the habit of doing silent treatments so I ignored her for a whole day which it was my first time ignoring her for 24 hours.
The next day she went cold turkey on me and said she doesn't want to do the relationship anymore and wants a break. I got mad because I felt like she said that to make me mad due to her impulsive nature (not always a bad thing).
When I realized the seriousness I stopped yelling at her and apologized.
I would call and she would keep the convos short and she stressed that she loves me, and is attracted to me and that we have amazing intercourse but just doesn't love the relationship right now, because its building on top of other stresses and needs time to have her individualism again because she revolved her whole relationship around me and wants to reconnect with friends because she alienated them because she didn't know how to balance me and them and chose me with no hesitation. My girlfriend is the kind to say what ever is on her mind, so she is constantly taking her words back and changing her mind (emotional) but very honest.
Yesterday at 5 am she called and told me to go over her house.
When I went to her house she said she didn't want to get back together and still gave me vibes that there was still some type of tension. Later in the day while we were talking she warmed up to me and started playing and laughing like we were still in a relationship and we ended up kissing and engaged in intercourse. It felt like we were together again holding hands outside and eating together, cracking jokes. But every time I asked if we were dating again she said she needs more time and changed the subject but never put me down hard. The cold turkey stage was over.
Throughout the day she continued to text me, told me she would cook for me and we were joking on each other. She was calling me babe and kept initiating the conversation.
I haven't asked about the relationship since I've left her house which was yesterday mid day.
Im sure I can get her back but I would like to know how long. And I'm sure I could set in motion things she could think about to quicken her decision but I need opinions before I try anything.
1)What am I suppose to think of all this?
2)What is she thinking? Why come to that decision?
3)What she needs to think about for us to work out?
4)Im sure she missed me which is why she called, But why did she act all lovey dovey and not want to be in the relationship yet?
5)(for people with experience) how long of space did you/your partner require before going back out or breaking up completely.
Thanks for the answers