I have been married almost 19 years. We have had our ups and downs but now I don't know if I can go on. We had children right away and I was happy but I always took care of them while he went out with his friends. Not male friends either always women and I was expected to understand. If I wanted to go out I had to arrange for a sitter he wouldn't watch them. There were rumors of affairs which he always denied. I thought when the kids got older it would be different. Last year he hooked up with friends from school days. Again all women. Spent most of his weekends going to. Partys etc. I was never invited and they were convienently days I had to work. Afew months ago my daughter found texts messages between her dad and his friend. Very inappropriate for someone who's only a friend. I confronted him and he denied any thing between them. He swore he loved me his relations with them would stop. He deleted her from fb only to add her a day later. She was angry but why did it matter if they were through? I told him it was them or me because I can't take the heartbreak anymore. I love him so much but feel that I'm always 2nd best with him. I want to be number one. He still texts them he just makes sure that I'm not around when he does. What do I do? Heartbroken and confused

I don't know why this is posted under human resources BUT -

You need to come to terms with his behavior. He has treated you badly and you've allowed it to continue.

I would speak to a therapist and drag him along with me. If he won't go, go alone.

Maybe his contacts are sexual; maybe they are not. However, if they upset you and he won't stop, then you need to come to an understanding.

The sad fact is that you can't make someone love you. You can't force someone to make you number one in his life.

You need to talk to someone.

If you are unhappy you got to do something about this... seek marriage counseling or something. I had the same thing happen to me... I ended up leaving my husband because of this.. but if you can make it work I suggest you try, but you can't do it all if he don't want to put forth the effort then why should you but the effort for both parties