I keep seeing a recurring theme. The breaker keep using familiar phrases; it's not you its me, I want to remain friends, I don't want to hurt you. They never address the real issues of why the relationship failed. Do they mean what they are saying or is it just lip service to ease thir guilt. What ever happened, we are having adult relationships should we be communicating as adults?

Yes. I do expect that, as we get older, we understand more about why a relationship isn't working out anymore and we are able to communicate that to one another.

The clichés do exist for a reason though (having handed them out myself): those sentiments are a common feeling when ending something with someone you were so close to. Especially the "wanting to stay friends" one. Those sentiments don't necessarily bug me, but as I grow older I hope they are accompanied by actual reasons as well.

The clichés also exist to ease conflict and pain (in theory).
Mostly they help get the 'breaker' out the door sooner rather than later.
I too find 'It's not you, it's me' particularly ridiculous, but hey, what do we expect when relationships fail? That's a lot less awful than some of the words flung at each other.

Well, sometimes you do meet the perfect person. Pretty, nice girl who likes everything about you, or respectful, smart handsome guy who will do everything you could only see in movies for you... But something doesn't feel right. Then yes, it's not them, it's you. You aren't ready for it. So I don't believe it's a lie every time I hear it.

I can sit here and make a list of all the dumb excuses I used when I broke up with people. My "I need time to sort things out, I have so much going on in my life right now I don't want to put you through this because I care about you" speech made it through the years. It's mean, I know, but I'd rather hear/say something like that than beat a dead horse and try to save a relationship I don't see myself in anymore.

It all comes to the same conclusion for me. Breaking up sucks, for both parts. A little more for the dumpee, I agree. Everyone has their own way to say "I'm sorry I'm about to break your heart, but this relationship is not worth the effort. Hope you find someone who will like/love you the way you want to be loved."

Sometimes you mean it, sometimes you don't. The result is the same, you have to move on and find happiness somewhere else.

Because the other person has already given up on the relationship. Therefore, there's no point to discuss things further. Discussing things further will only give the other person false hope because it will make the other person believe that the issues are fixable. But it's not about whether the problems can be fixed, it's the fact that the heart has given up, so there's not point getting into the details.

Clichés go both ways.

The Dumper says, 'It's me, not you.'
The Dumpee counters with, 'Why?'
The Dumper gives reasons and the clichés start from the Dumpee:

'I can fix that.'
'I'll change.'
'I won't do that again.'

If the Dumper believes the Dumpee means what he/she is saying, then the relationship continues. For a short while things get worked on, then they start to slip again and the couple is back to 'It's not you, its me' and the cycle continues

Sometimes, sticking to clichés keeps couples from getting stuck in revolving door relationships.

What?/ You mean people actually listen to the reasons they are getting dumped?? Why??