Or does it have to be the mother or father? My daughter is an alcoholic drug addict who also lives like a hoarder (note disgustingly dirty)I have had her kids living with me on and off their whole lives (they are 16 & 11). Enough is enough I do not want these children living in limbo anymore. I can not make any decisions that regard them as their mom has custody but has not even so much as called them since Christmas Day. What advice can you give? I live in Ontario Canada

The father, of course, is first in line when it comes to custody.

You can petition the Court for custody, PROVE what you have said. Has child protective services been involved? Would your daughter give you guardianship by request?

AT 16 your grandchild WILL have a voice at a hearing. The Court does not have to follow her wishes but she WILL be heard and her testimony will carry some weight.

At 11, if the circumstances warrant, the second child can also be heard.

Thanks JudyKayTee... The father is not involved he is a criminal on the run... CPS has been involved but they say they do not have the budget to force a drug test. The 16 year old was living with his mother up until a month ago when he returned to me and said he nor his brother should be living there, because she parties too much all the time and the apt. is disgustingly dirty... Proof is going to be hard to get as she has told me I can not enter her apt. I don't really want to put the kids through a trial where they would have to tell strangers bad stuff about their mom. My daughter would not give me custody as then she would lose her Child Tax Benefit and welfare money. I am so confused as what to do. I have also heard through friends that my daughter is planning on moving to BC, I don't want her to come and make the kids go with her?

The only way you can stop her is to legally stop her. My heart aches for you and the children BUT it would be a hearing, closed, not a trial.

Sad situation. I realize you are supporting the children - is there any way you could make an appointment with an Attorney to see where to go from here?

I hate to even mention it but would she give you guardianship IF you do nothing, allow her to move, allow her to keep collecting benefits? I HATE to see anybody rip off the system (and this is a legal board) BUT someone has to safeguard your grandchildren.

My daughter would not give me custody as then she would lose her Child Tax Benefit and welfare money.

Then do this:
Consult with an attorney to find out what your rights are in Ontario.

If you can file for custody, do so. Otherwise, insist that CPS do something about it; perhaps by getting custody and doing foster home placement with you.

Once you have done that, keep the appropriate tax and welfare money agencies advised of the situation. If your daughter knows that they know about it, there will be less incentive for her to fight you on this.