Im 20 and so is my boyfriend. We have been goling out for over a year and was best mates for sooo long before that. I love him to bits he's everything to me and he feels the same. We kind of live with each other and it gets too much sometimes but apart from that its OK. Apart from sex. We haven't been having sex for months now and I don't get it. We used to all the time and it was great. But then he started to make me *** less and less which he knew about. And he just wasn't putting in the effort anymore. Now we don't do it at all! Its been about 3 weeks since we have and I do say it to him and I feel so silly when I do. But he hates to talk about it and makes me sound like I just have a higher sex drive than him.
Until last night where I was so fed up and said why do you keep making excuses all the time I need to no what it is. He said he does not feel horny anymore, or sexy and its not me. If I do something to turn him on its fine. But he can never initiate it. He said he's lost he's drive?? What's happening I'm so confused?

There can be many reasons for a male of any age to lose his sex drive.

The biggest reasons seem to be stress and exhaustion followed by health and medications. Alcohol and other 'recreational' drugs can take a huge toll on the libido, too.

Often we don't realize how much stress there is in our lives until something happens to bring it to our attention. Is there anything weighing on his mind like finances, job, school, family and friend issues, etc. Does he have a job that tires him out physically and/or mentally?

Is he healthy? Does he have a history of depression? Is he on any medications? Does he self-medicate with alcohol and/or other drugs?

I know this may seem like your needs are being dismissed, however, pressure to have sex only causes the problem to grow larger. He needs to find the cause and work on it mainly for himself (especially if it is a symptom of a larger problem). You have to decide if you are willing to work with him while he tries to get better, if he does try, or if it is better for you to let go now now instead of allowing frustration and hurt to build up until you explode.

I just joined the forum because of the same problem, only thing is I'm male. My girlfriend wants to have sex all the time and I've completely lost my drive. Previously everything was superb!

I'd be happy to talk with you about it more, I'm sure I'm having similar issues as your boyfriend!

vittujoo, if you would like help with your issues please start your own thread and we will give any help we can.

Just a friendly tip on using the site, please do not use chat speak such as 'u' instead of 'you'. It is against site rules. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/faq.php?faq=vb_faq#faq_faq_rules

Also, we try to keep all advice in the thread so that everyone knows what is going on and we can give the best advice we can. It is also for the safety of both parties. Offering to 'talk' to someone sounds like offering off-board contact.

Thank you.