View Full Version : How do I deal with this?
bribaby13
Feb 9, 2011, 01:44 PM
January 27 2011 I was in a car accident along with my 17 year old brother and my 15 year old boyfriend. I survived they didn't... I need help on how to try not to feel so guilty.. Ive tried remebering the good times about them but it just doesn't work. I need help. Just some ideas or things to do. Me and my boyfriend spent every moment together for a year and a half. And now it just doesn't feel right doing things without him. Its hard and I'm only 15.
cdad
Feb 9, 2011, 03:04 PM
You have nothing to feel guilty about. The fact that you survived is the pennence you pay for lifes experiences. It is something that you will hold for the rest of your life. And maybe from it be a beacon for others to make it through their own tough times. Im not going to lie to you. Its going to be a tough year. You will have aniverseries and rememberances because its so early. DO NOT beat yourself with it. If it starts getting to you get help. It is a lot to go through but you can make it. You just have to remember that with every sunrise it's a brand new day and your chapter is yet to be written. And at sunset you close the book for that day. Im sure your perspective has changed dramatically at this time and as you look upon the world you may ask yourself why? Why? what if? Etc can drive you crazy. If you have a faith try attending church. Don't stop living life because of loss. But do take time to grieve at your own pace. Everyone is very different in how the grieve. You may feel anger at some point. That is a normal emotion too. Just remember it's a brand new day and don't forget to close the book at nightfall. Allow this situation into your heart and don't allow it to become baggage. Im sorry for your loss.
aliseaodo
Feb 11, 2011, 10:49 AM
bribaby13 - I went through something similar when I was 16, (car accident where only I survived) and had something I can now recognize as 'survivor depression' - every single thing Califdad has said is true -but it is extremely difficult to handle the guilt - (absolutely undeserved guilt) on your own. My parents at the time tried to get me to go to counseling but I flat out refused (maybe they would classify it as a tantrum.. ), and they let me try to get back to a regular feeling life by myself- but, as an adult now, I can look back and see that counseling would have made things quite a bit easier to handle- If there are any adults in your life that can help you pursue some form of counseling I strongly, strongly recommend it.