I have been kicked off a site and told to take a two week vacation from the place. Have any of you ever heard about this before? I have been ignoring some rather negative comments from a couple of people, some on the site and some by PM. I have also received a lot of support by PM which I have also kept copies of. If I hadn’t kept them I think I would be doubting my sanity.

It is a very good site that helps people who have to cope with or have coped with people with mental disorders. It’s quite strict about what you can post, which I didn’t mind. But I didn’t think I had broke any rules.

The site guide says you can post anywhere on the forum but I got abuse for posting where someone thought I shouldn’t be posting. I avoided getting involved and thought these people might just be of the ‘upset easily’ types.

Next thing I know I’m kicked off.

I would love to hear your views on this.

BlueRose,

Do you mean AMHD?? Here? Or another web site.

In either case, you know how I feel. I just love BlueRose. I am a very mild mannered person (even for a red head), however, if someone upset you, than I am upset.

You are a caring, loving , wise soul. Never questioned that. Sounds to me that whomever you are speaking about, was having a very bad day and choose to direct it your way.

Sorry, I am rambling. Anyway, please never question your heart. Try and keep in mind that sometimes when people act like that towards you, it has nothing to do with you, but the unsettledness they have inside themselves.

Many hugs to you Blue Rose.

Love,
Allheart

p.s. I just love my Blue Rose :)

I think that's a little over board.
Sometimes an enforced break is warrented, but from what I have seen from your posts here I can't imagine why in your case.
Did you raise your concerns about these posts PM's with the sites mods ?

Some people can get a little touchy about posts not being in exactly the right place, but hey that's what mods are for.

Ps this post is on the wrong board and I have requested that it be moved ;)

Allheart,

Thank you.

Not this site another one. I think I just wanted to ask someone else what they thought.

My first reaction was just to leave it and delete the site but in some strange way I like the strict way it is moderated. Some of the people on there need protecting, but I have decided to wait out the 'vacation' and go back in and see if I can figure out what I did wrong. I have 1550 posts on there - I was not messing around, I was taking it very seriously. Maybe too seriously - there are so many sad stories.

Oh glad you are okay BlueRose. It didn't sound like AMHD. I just wanted to make sure.

Sorry I hit the panic button (guess I am more red head than I care to admit :)

The two weeks should do you good. Especially with the subject matter. Sounds very emotionally draining and refueling may be the best medicine.

Many hugs to you {{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

Bluerose,

That is awful treatment. I do know where you are coming from. You know why, I am on other sites as well. There were some complaints. Next thing you know. 7 members got suspended. So I piped up and said there is something wrong with this pictures. This person did not do anything wrong. I would like to know why these people got suspended. Next thing you know. I got suspended for 1 month because I question why they suspended others.

It is hard to go back to a site that treats you like that. That is why once I found this site. It was an awsome change. There are no power struggles and everybody is treated the same. You actually get warnings to if the ones here believe that you need one.

On the other site there was no warning.

Joe

I've seen that on other forums. I believe it does exist here as well. It's the moderators decision as these are not free-for-all forums i.e. they have certain guidelines.

Knowing you I would assume it's something to do with them, as I can't really picture you doing anything to provoke that kind of action. However, I only go on one advice message board place... so my credibility is limited.

Joe,

That's just what happened. It is one of those sites where you feel like you are walking on eggshells. Now that didn't bother me with the members as a lot of them had been very hurt. But when you feel it with the moderators and the administrators and you are not given the chance to ask any questions, it's rather frustrating. You begin to wonder if you missed something - were you rude or had you upset someone... It's a very strange experience.

There was a thread where one of the moderators was rather harsh with me, two other posters on the thread commented on it saying he was rather harsh and that they knew exactly what I meant. I PMd them both thanking them for their support. When I went back to the thread their posts were gone! I haven't been able to ask them about it obviously. But it had me thinking I was going mad. I can still read threads but not sign in, and their posts have been deleted! They might have been told off too for sticking up for me. Christ! I feel like I'm back in school! Lol

I'm not sure what is going on but it made me feel rather strange, and that's my reason for asking you guys about it.

I have been looking in my files for the copies I made of some of the posts and PMs. So long as you don't mind, I would like to put a bit here to give you some idea of what I had put up with. I did feel a little angry as I was conversing regularly with half a dozen or so people, now they are going to think I am ignoring them because I didn't have a chance to explain what was happening.

I don't mind being warned, at least with that you get a chance to explain or say sorry to whoever you upset. But what they did... I just don't know. It has never happened before.

And it's almost my birthday too - lol

Bluerose,

I think it is a good idea to share this with us. I know you feel comfortable doing that. I know it is hard to understand, and its hard to get answers. At the end of it all, it is good to give it a good fight. Especially when you know your right. Even if that means you do not get on there again.

Joe

This is 1 of 3 PM from the same person over the last few months. I chose to ignore them and just go on with what I was doing. Maybe that was my mistake.
...

(Name) Retired Moderator
Posts: 4329

« Sent to: Rose on: (28th sep) Today at 04:38:50 » Quote Reply Remove

Day before yesterday, I counted the threads in the *Cafe. There were 27 on the first page, 9 of them were by you. Many of those had a few views, and in looking, most of the 'views' were you *posting on your own thread. Patting yourself on the back? Do you get some personal kick from seeing your name there? Love to 'see your name in lights? Does this give you a feeling of being important mostly to you? Why do you do start so many threads? Do you think the other members are as interrested in your thoughts as you are? I really am curious. Why, why don't you back off a bit with all your new threads, and especially thinking every thread and post is to you specifically? Why do you take over so many threads to turn it to you and your 'wisdom' then answer each post as if it were to you? You are becoming a nuisance. Do you have a life other than here? *I read one of your posts where you said you spent all your day on the computer. Must you share so dang much of you with the rest of us? It becomes more than boring.

...

* The Café is an off topic board.
* Posting on my own thread - it was a poetry thread, I was adding more as I came across them in my files.
* I'm 57 on Saturday and I'm disabled so I don't work, I receive disability, and yes I do spend a lot of time on my computer, it's my hobby - helping people if I can. And when I mentioned on a thread about sitting at the computer all day... I was making a joke.

I must have been mad to stay but I was getting to know people and it's not that easy to leave these sites once you get involved.

Thanks, guys! I feel much better for having a chance to explain.

Rose xx

Bluerose,

That is awful treatment. I do know where you are coming from. You know why, I am on other sites as well. There were some complaints. Next thing you know. 7 members got suspended. So I piped up and said there is something wrong with this pictures. This person did not do anything wrong. I would like to know why these people got suspended. Next thing you know. I got suspended for 1 month because I question why they suspended others.

It is hard to go back to a site that treats you like that. That is why once I found this site. It was an awsome change. There are no power struggles and everybody is treated the same. You actually get warnings to if the ones here believe that you need one.

On the other site there was no warning.

Joe

Sorry about that, but I feel the administration is very biased in some cases here.

Labman,

It may occur here, but not as often as other sites. When it does occur here normally it is warranted.

That is just my opinion.

Joe

Well it seems as though you just like expressing yourself on that site and the other person just doesn't like what you are expressing, or maybe how much you like to express.

I would, when you get your privileges back, tell him what you have told us. About being disabled and this being your hobby. Your not trying to bring everything back to you, you just want to relate with these other people and let them know they are not alone... there is nothing wrong with that. You have given so much good heartful advice here on AMHD I can only imagine you like to spread your knowledge. Maybe its time to find another site to post on other than that one... I am sure us here at AMHD love to hear your words, but I also know AMHD has its slow times when responses are far in between.

It sounds like these other people are bothered by your attentiveness, and don't see that you are just trying to be helpful. Just give them a break, and pick the threads you really feel you should answer to... I wish they would be more accepting of you, if they could just see you only want to help others and not just bring the attention to yourself... Maybe they are jealous you have so much to say and they can't keep up... hehe.

I wish you the best Bluerose!

Thank you all for those kind words, I needed them.

s2tp, your words ring true in my head.

Perhaps backing off for now is a good idea.

Thankfully, I have more positive than negative responses.

Below is a copy of a positive one.


Rose,

I don't know what is with some of the people here - including the mods. I totally appreciate your posts, your insight, your experience. You are an extremely valuable member here. You have helped many people. The world is full of really creepy people who are so asleep that they very unconsciously go on denigrating others in some stupid attempt to elevate themselves or to avoid feeling things they don't want to feel. Many of the mods seem to be really bpd phobic and your mentioning that you originally felt that you may have been dealing with bpd personally sets them off - I guess ? They are just plain dumb. Please stick around and ignore them. There are people here who really want you around. I am one. You were correct to point out that Pat should not speak on behalf of everyone - that was pathetic.

Liatris


I'll leave you with a story that helps me to understand and accept things when others can't or won't see that I am just trying to help, and I can't do it their way because I am not them. And perhaps where they have trouble seeing something my way is because they are not me.


The Miller, the Son, and the Donkey ~

The story is about a miller and his son who were driving their donkey to market. They had not gone far when some girls saw them and broke out laughing. "Look!" they cried. "Look at those fools! How silly they are to be trudging along on foot when the donkey might be carrying one of them on his back."

This seemed to make sense, so the father lifted his son onto the donkey and walked along contentedly by his side. They trod on for a while until they met an old man who spoke to the son scornfully. "You should be ashamed of yourself, you lazy rascal. What do you mean by riding when your poor old father has to walk? It shows that no one respects age anymore. The least you can do is get down and let your father rest his old bones." Red faced with shame, the son got down and made his father get onto the donkey's back.

They had gone only a little further when they met a group of young fellows who mocked them. "What a cruel old man!" jeered one of the fellows. "There he sits, selfish and comfortable, while the poor boy has to stumble along the dusty road to keep up with him."

So the father lifted his son up, and the two of them rode along. However, before they reached the market, a townsman stopped them. "Have you no feeling for dumb creatures?" he shouted. "The way you load that little animal is a crime. You two men are better able to carry the poor little beast than he you!"

Wanting to do the right thing, the miller and his son got off the donkey, tied his legs together, slung him on a pole, and carried him on their shoulders. When people saw this spectacle, they laughed so loudly that the donkey was frightened. The animal kicked through the cords that bound him, fell off the pole into the river and drowned.

The moral of this story is, "He who tries to please everybody pleases nobody."

I really enjoyed that story.

Hello blue:

I've been fired from about 5 sites similar to this one. The first 4 just didn't like an exconvict acting like everybody else, and the last one didn't like my honesty. Sometimes I get pretty honest - maybe uncomfortably so for some people.

The first 4 sites aren't in business anymore, and the last one has no reason for being in business, except as a toy for the owners.

In my view, I contribute TO a site. I don't take FROM it. Therefore, it's their loss when I leave. Now, it's true - I am full of myself.

Anyway, blue. We have you - they don't. Score one for our team.

excon

Hi Blue,
Without knowing the forum, the rules and what was posted, I really can't say what was waranted or not. From what I know of you, I would be very surprised that it was warranted.

But you have to remember that any of these sites are the owner's playgrounds. There is no such thing as a truly open, public site. They are all owned by some individual or entity, including AMHD. Whoever the owner is, THEY make the rules. Everyone else uses the site at the owner's forebearance.

So, if you think some action they took was over the top, complain. Get a full explanation of the reason for the "vacation". If you feel the rules, or the application of them is too strict or overbearing, then you have the choice of not using the site.

excon,

Kicked off five sites! Wow! I have some catching up to do it seems. Lol

As for being an ex-convict, my dad suffered from a personality disorder and would get into many fights. He spent time in prison - he should probably have been in a hospital. Ex-cons don't bother me, a lot of my dad's mates were ex-cons. Lol

And as for 'getting pretty honest', I'm Scottish and we are know for our 'straight talkin'. I have lived a few years and been through stuff, and like to share my knowledge and experience - in a nice way. But make no mistake, this Rose has thorns. Lol

I think anyone who sticks around for more than a few weeks contributes to any site. And some net friends can become as important to us as our real life friends. It's sad when someone is hurt or when someone leaves.

I must be full of myself too because I agree with you - it's their loss. Every site slows up from time to time, I'm the type of person who can keep it going till it gets busy again. Lol

"Anyway, blue. We have you - they don't. Score one for our team."

Thank you so much for those words.

You guys have cheered me up no end. Lol

Rose

ScottGem,

"So, if you think some action they took was over the top, complain. Get a full explanation of the reason for the "vacation". If you feel the rules, or the application of them is too strict or overbearing, then you have the choice of not using the site."

Thank you for that, but I can't bring myself to complain about it. It's only one forum after all. My post here was just me getting it off my chest and hoping for a little comfort and understanding - which I have received in abundance. Thanks guys. Time to put this one to bed I think.

Thank you all so much.

Rose xx

It is time to go to bed. Have good rest and wake up without it on your mind. It is good that you were able to get it off your chest. Happy your ready to put it too rest now. Have a good night.

Joe

http://i12.tinypic.com/4bfrtci.jpg

That's it! I'm off! They can stick their forum up their bum!


Good night peeps and thanks again. xx

Aww blue, thanks for posting that message and story! What a nice person and the things they said are so true. I really enjoyed the story too! I shared it with my coworkers, and I think I am going to save it for future reading and sharing...

Thank you Bluerose for all of your wise and kind words. You are very valuable to the AMHD community, I hope nobody ever makes you feel like your comments are unwanted. For any person that may not like what you have to say, there are 100 more people to that one who does!

Update:

The site I wrote about is no longer in action!

Some of the members decided to take it over when the owner decided to close it. Unfortunately their policies haven't changed much and some of the members broke away and created yet another site.

How did I find out about all this?

I received an email inviting me to join the new site!

I did but didn't stay for long. I discovered I had moved on and was done discussing my dad's illness and suicide.

Thanks again, folks. For your comforting words which helped me to finally let go of a pretty painful episode in my earlier life.

Thanks for the update. I am so glad that all that is past you and that you had the support here to do it.

Joe

Update:

I’m doing an update of my thread in celebration of my post count.

I have been involved in many forums since that silly episode and still am. I have never been put off any since then and I have been told that my contribution is much appreciated. I am involved in Skeptic forums and spiritual forums sharing what I know and asking many questions.

Thank you all once again for the support through that crappy episode.


Newbies this is a really nice place to get help, support and advice. I hope you will all stick around and get the help you seek. And then, in your own time, you might also offer your help to others.