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View Full Version : Can a non custodial parent attain 50/50 physical custody after 6 yrs?


Cihuatldelsol
Feb 5, 2011, 10:23 AM
My daughter is 6. The first 2 yrs, her dad was sporadic in visiting. The next 2 yrs, inconsistent, despite a court order visitation. This April will be 2 yrs that he's seen her consistently, each Sunday from 12-8pm, per order. I have journaled all of his visits, and lack thereof, since day one. In December he told me he scheduled mediation for us so he could pursue having our daughter live with him every other week. In mediation, I offered him every other weekend visits and one weekday dinner date; he agreed as a temporary plan, but is still moving forward, now with a lawyer, to get 50/50 every other week custody.
I am a Special Ed teacher, with a Child Dev degree. Our girl is earning high grades in school, even reading two grade levels above. She's in Tae Kwon Do, making friends... in short, she is striving, which I take credit for. I do not see how moving with him every other week is to her benefit, especially as she is doing so well.
I have many concerns ranging from him not owning his own car or cell phone, to the fact he rents out rooms in his house with no screening process, that he has pets despite our daughter having severe asthma/allergies and that my girl says she sleeps on the floor the times she has spent the night (once a month for the past 3 months); this is not to mention the Jerry Springer antics of his live-in girlfriend, whom he denied in mediation (where I voiced all these concerns).
What types of evidence/documentation should I bring to court? And is there a real chance of his proposed plan being approved by a judge? I need to know so I can mentally prepare both my daughter and myself, as she cries thinking we'll be separated.

cdad
Feb 5, 2011, 11:53 AM
Nothing so far that you have said represents a danger to the child. Also if he has been there and at this point the courts could and should approve more time. Your having a degree doesn't make you a better parent. It just makes you a parent with a degree.

Cihuatldelsol
Feb 5, 2011, 12:34 PM
Clearly, he's not a danger, if he were, he wouldn't be in her life at all. The question is whether this sudden move on his part is best for our daughter. I mention my degree because in this field Ive fained a deeper understanding of what "stability" is and how that affects the development of a young person. I agree he should get more time, which is why I proposed a plan that would boost his monthly hours with her from 32 to 76 hrs, a jump that I believe is necessary should my girl, indeed, move with him.
I guesd my next question is, is my daughter old enough to have her own representation as she does not want to move in with him at
This time...

cdad
Feb 5, 2011, 01:54 PM
No she is not. This is really between the parents. I doubt at that age the judge would even listen to anything your daughter has to say since she is so young. In the end its up to the judge.