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kano123
Jan 31, 2011, 05:48 AM
I have recently broke up with my girlfriend who lives in France and I live in England.. we were together for 10 months and engaged, she is still studying to become a nurse and I work as a financial investigator for a road company, I lived in France for 6 years before I came back to the UK, so I grew up there before hand. I was supposed to go back and live with her and her parents, try find a job and get an apartment..

It didn't work out because her mum soon decided with another baby on the way that she couldn't afford to take me into her home . So we decided to leave it on good terms and try again once she's finished her studies which will be in June/July 2012, we really loved each other and it was real. We saw each other once a month and done loads of things together she never wanted to end it and neither did I . We both said that once she finishes her studies in June I promised I would be waiting outside her door for her to come back if she wanted too. She promised that her feelings would never change for me that she would always wear her ring and that when I come back there will be no doubts on her saying yes. I said she could find someone else and maybe try again? But she said no one would have touched me apart from you the day you get back I will still be the same.

She is 18 and I am 20 I wanted to know whether she will come back to me after all that time? We will still be in contact regularly and we will always be best friends until the day we can start again. Like I said there was never any problems between me and her, even with the distance we still loved each other and still do as much as the first day we met.

The question is: Will her feelings for me still be as strong after all that time? Or will she move on?

talaniman
Jan 31, 2011, 08:49 AM
A year is a long time my friend, but staying in regular contact is the only way to go.


Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship (http://www.aish.com/d/w/48964126.html)

http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-handle-this-seven-ways-to-survive-a-long-distance-relationship/

kano123
Jan 31, 2011, 08:54 AM
Yeah, but can her feelings still be the same? Or will she forget about me over time..

answerme_tender
Jan 31, 2011, 09:01 AM
Kano,

None of us can possibley predict what her feelings will be. As Tal advised a year is a long time. Do you really think that your feelings will stay the same?

Don't you plan to continue living your life. Or do you plan on never having any type of social life with the opposite sex?

I would hope that you both keep getting out and socializing. If you are meant to be together for the rest of your lives then that year of being apart will only enhance your feelings. I have noticed that people who have taken the time to date around some tend to know what they want in life,and are more appreciative for that person they finally settle down for.

Take care

talaniman
Jan 31, 2011, 09:01 AM
Who can predict the feelings of a young female? Just stay in contact, and take the risk like we all do.

Or get a job there, and be closer to her. If she is worth it, don't be afraid. But its only been 10 months, and you both still have a lot to learn, and go through.

kano123
Feb 1, 2011, 02:30 AM
She has decided that she would like to leave where she is and come back to live with me, the only problem is, I said she was 18.. she is 17 and nearly 18.. what does this mean? Can she do it or not? Thanks, Kane

Please help me :(

answerme_tender
Feb 1, 2011, 07:31 AM
Listen here in the midwest the answer to your question would be NO---At the age of 17yrs she is still considered a minor, and still living underneath her parents house, so that also means rules. However we are not so backwards as to force are daughter to date any man.

You are dealing with a VERY young lady here mister, and due to that fact alone need to take a step back and give her room to grow up. I as a parent would NOT take kindly to a young man trying to interfer with the raising of my young 17yro daughter.

I know you love her and you also want the best. But please tell me what you would do in this case if this was your 17yro daughter and some guy was wanting her to throw away everything you want for her to come and live with him!! Can you honestly sit there and say you would stand back and not do anything to stop it.

I will once again advise that you need to continue with your life. Finish your education, get a good job. Basically show not just her, but her parents that you are willing to work hard to prove to them that you can take care of her and any future children. This not only means just financially but in maturity, respect means a lot to parents of any culture and background.

I know this isn't probably the answer your wanting, but what we want and reality are two different things.

I wish you well---take care

talaniman
Feb 1, 2011, 09:31 AM
I think it's a lousy idea to think she can move in with you, get a job, and help you keep a roof over your heads at the ages you are. Maybe you both are special, and capable, but reality says she has to finish her education, and then see how things progress. Don't let this young eager to leave home, so in love female, dictate how things will proceed, because her ideas are not reality based.

Its your task to do what you have to do to make her see a better way of accomplishing what you want, and that's going to take time, and a helluva plan. Reassure her, and layout your plan, and convince her to follow it, and while you build a foundation for the future with getting a job, she educates herself to be able to help, with a good solid career of her own.

Right now you are just two love struck kids with plenty of feelings, but between you no plan, or a pot to piss in. Don't rush into something that will blow up in your face later, so think, and plan and make hopes a reality, and not think you can live off love, and follow impulsive feeling down a dumb path.

Communicate with each other, and build bonds through honest expression, by talking and listening, and get a solid, well thought out plan together. For sure if this relationship cannot stand the trials, and tribulations of being long distance while you both prepare for life, it sure will never survive.

Young females need a lot of talking and reassurances, and that requires a strong independent, mature male. Is that you?

kano123
Feb 2, 2011, 07:14 AM
Hello guys, just to let you both know that I really apreciate all the help and advice you've been giving me in the past few days, and of course as you may have guessed I have decided to let her go so that she can continue living her young life and grow up to become the beautiful woman that she one day will be. I am very sad and upset about having to do it, and she can not really understand why I have.. But things are for the best, I have realised I have no right to take the young life of a beautiful girl away, weather she's madly in love with me or not. We wouldn't have to support ourselves because I am still at my parents, and my mum isn't really bothered about her living with us, she was really fond of her and liked her very much. But you were right, if I was in her dad's shoes I would think exactly the same as me, I will now leave her to continue her studys and grow up. I am sorry to let you think that I was some stuck up guy that didn't care about anyone's feelings, I am mature for my age and I do want the best for her.. Who know's? Maybe one day we will find each others hearts again.. maybe not? All I know is my feelings for her will never change and I hope that one day we can find the same teenage love we once had. Thanks a million guys you actully saved a young girls future today, you can both be proud of the people you are today.

Kind Regards and all the best for the future,
Kano