View Full Version : She can't give 100% of herself to anyone right now.
Hitch11
Jan 30, 2011, 09:42 PM
I was seeing this girl for 2 weeks and we hit it off great, Let's just say everything in those 2 weeks was very good. I came on pretty strong but she was reciprocating and felt the same way I was feeling. I got a message from her saying she was nervous we were moving too fast, which was fine I agreed and then the next day I got another message saying, "I feel like Ive been forcing myself to be ready to be in a relationship when deep down I'm not and I'm such a great guy and that right now we should our own thing and when the time is right we can try this again. My best friend is dating her sister so were still connected and the 4 of us got along great. She jus got out of a relationship a month prior. Ex was a clown and still contacts her, complete d bag. This girl is great and I really like her, my question is do you see it being worth the wait of her coming around soon and being "ready to try this again?" to me she is but I just don't know how long I can hold on to the thought of waiting for her while still going out and living my life like I was. Help.
justcurious55
Jan 30, 2011, 09:47 PM
Only you can decide if she's worth waiting for. It sounds like you want to. And if you're OK with that, I see nothing wrong. Just remember to be patient. She'll need time to heal and if you pressure her, which might be tempting, she may lose any interest she ever had in you.
You can always play it by ear anyway. For now, while you're OK with waiting it's fine to stick with waiting. If months go by and she's still giving you the same line and it's not going anywhere and you're feeling like you're life is on hold, then move on.
Hitch11
Jan 30, 2011, 10:05 PM
Definitely I've only contacted he once saying "thinking of you hope yer having a good day" and she responded so that's a good sign, she could have just blew me off. Also I respect her enough to where if space is needed then that's what she will get. Should I wait for her to contact me next or maybe shoot a text to her saying how was yer weekend?". She told my friend I was clingy which I agree but I really wanted to show her there are good guys out there that would appreciate her, which she thinks of me like that but I came off as wanting to hang out a lot. That can be fixed and I'm proving I'm not so clingy by not contacting her all the time right?
talaniman
Jan 31, 2011, 07:32 AM
Its never a good idea to wait for someone to come around to your way of thinking. NEVER. You have nothing to prove at all to her, and should leave her alone, and do your own thing without her.
Its also never good to assume she feels as you do, that's a big mistake, and feeds you false hope that she will be ready, in a day, month, week, or a year, and you end up making a pest of yourself forcing something that they don't want.
Take her at her word, and disappear gracefully, and keep your dignity, and self respect, and leave her with good memories, because she already is taking you as being clingy, and that's NOT a good sign.
Don't take her kindness at not rejecting you harshly, and straight out, take the hint that she ain't wanting what you are, and back way off until she calls YOU.
Naw don't hold your breath for that either.
Hitch11
Jan 31, 2011, 07:40 AM
And if she doesn't contact me because she put me in the category of another guy who didn't care? My buddy said text her this week and then maybe call her in a couple weeks but yer right I feel as though I want to keep myself respect and not do that and leave it be and if it's mean to be both of us will be single when she's ready to open up. Yer right that I hope she feels the same about me just isn't ready for another serious relationship so fresh out of recent break up. I was fresh out of a 4 yf relationship and didn't want anything to do with another one till right around meeting this girl and that took about 5 months. I still might not be ready lol :)
I wish
Jan 31, 2011, 07:47 AM
Though it may feel like she kept the door open with you, it feels more like she's letting you down gently. She already gave it a shot with you and the spark just wasn't there with her.
We can't tell you how long you should wait, only your heart can tell you when it's time to give up. But just be prepared that she may never come around to you.
talaniman
Jan 31, 2011, 08:26 AM
So now you know that another female can turn you on.
Talaniman Rule-Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18-80, blind, cripple, or crazy!!!
Then you don't get stuck on one female stranger, and make a fool of yourself, or hurt yourself, and you have many options, and opportunities for fun, and romance to choose from. Just be honest with them all, "its only a date for fun, and getting to know each other, not a lifetime commitment!"
Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.
Hitch11
Jan 31, 2011, 08:55 AM
So there was one night I told her, that I had hoped from now she would tell how she felt and be open with me etc, the next text I got from her was " ok then I'm trusting you with my heart, please don't break it". So I feel lead on and so confused on all of this, thanks all for your thoughts it helps realize a lot.. she told me she wasn't a casual dater and that she would not have been on a date with me if she didn't see a future with me, again my take is she just needs time to get over the previous relationship and then honestly ask herself if she could be with me and try it again.