Well I met my first cousin for the first time and I really liked her then my feelings for her got stronger (she lives in different state, she came to my place), then later I went to her palcevfor school holidays, well she made it look like she liked me too, we held hands and we were like shoulder to shoulder like lovers (I was playing with her hair, I'm sure she liked it), then after I tell her I love her and how I want to be with her, she says sorry we are first cousins I can't (and I mention how we held hands and all she says sorry but I don't know what was going through my head), and she just like throws it in my face like nothing, we still talk, but I can't get her out of my head, its ****ing killing me, but I have a feeling she likes me, its just that we are first cousins that she says I don't, I even had a dream, some girl (random girl) said "she wants you" I don't know if its because I'm thinking about her too much or something, but its really killing me, I don't know what to do, I'm not sure if I should give her more time or something I don't know, could some please help me. And please just don't say ewww, first cousins, personally I don't think its wrong, and its not a sin (im Catholic) she's my first love too, I've liked other girls but not like her. And I'm 15 years young.

You had better check with your priest about that but, confusing family love, and love of those outside the family is not a good thing.

She doesn't want anything romantic to do with you, and if you think she does because of holding hands, and stuff you are mistaken.

Let this go because, she is NOT your first love, just a strong attraction you have which is normal for 15 year old guys but acting on those feelings is absolutely the wrong thing to do.

You are supposed to love all your family, but lets not get carried away by strong feelings, and live in a stupid fantasy world. Let it go. Use your common sense before everyone thinks you are a pervert, or something.

I know I think I got to let it go, but bro words are easy to say and but acting it... its not that easy, I say I got to let it go, but she just keeps coming back. And I don't hold hands with any of my family like that. But I get where your coming from

Most things are easier said than done, especially by strangers who have no feelings invested as you have. But when you realize its for the best, and the right thing to do, you just man up, and do it.

Good luck.