Ok. I have been dating her since the past 5 months. Its been an up and down thing since the start. Here it goes. I was the one who asked her out, I did not get a reply, when I asked her whether it was a yes/no she says that she neither meant a yes or a no. After a few days we get on and have been dating ever since. After the first month into the relationship I learn that she was dating another guy (who happens to be a friend of mine) since two years and she never broke up with him! That was big blow to me. I was told by both of them sometime back before I had an eye on her, yeah the common line that one gets to hear from girls, we are like brother and sister!

When I confronted her I was told that she wanted to tell me but was looking for the right time (ok she told me since the start that she had to tell me something before we entered into a relationship, but the topic was being postponed). Anyway, I was OK about that and thought that she deserves a chance and I let go of it. Then there is a bust up between my girl, her ex and I and we guys have not been talking ever since, but this girl talks to both of us. She tells me that she liked me before, but now she loves me. I ask her to watch out for her ex and she says that she could handle it. Later this guy starts abusing her and calling her names. She does not want me to put up a fight with him, but comes and tells me what her ex thinks about her. Afterwards, I was told that she had slept with her ex for quite a number of times and that at times he forced her to have sex, when she did not want to, but she still went ahead with it.
I have a question for the girls out there. Would you still have sex a multiple number of times with a guy even when he mistreats you and call you names(I don't want to use them here well you can guess what I mean).

Anyway, both of them work at the same place and this girl used to end up working late in the night and this guy would always be present beside her. In fact he slapped her on more than one occasion. She tells me, but doesn't want me to react to it. I couldn't take it and finally ended up confronting him, it turned into a bitter fight... then I tell him that she's my girl and I have the right to ask him to stop being a jerk and pull himself together, to my astonishment he questions the girl if I am her guy and to my surprise she kept mum, didn't utter a single word and walks off. It got to my head and I stop talking to her.

Later she comes and tells me that she did not want to have further trouble from him, so she had to stay quiet but she stills loves me and despises he ex. I thought that I should give her a chance to prove herself, and I was all right with it. But after a short while I still see her working late in the night with that guy alongside her, she was being followed by him all around. It irritated me but she was fine with it and asks me to be patient for a few days.

I feel really strange with a dizzy feeling in my head. I really like her, she's my first love and would love to spend the rest of my life with her, which I told her when I sometime back when we got into a relationship. I always thought that love was something in which two people share their feelings and are close together. I never even went out on a date with her ! Once when my friends and I went out on a roadtrip this guy also ended up and it was more like they were in a relationship than me, she was hanging out with him most of the time, he want literally almost kissing her and was all over her right in front of me and she tells me that she still loves me. We just kissed a couple of time and that's it.

Okay all three of us are catholics and go to church (okay that doesn't mean much though)


Then, it was summer and we got back to our home in different cities. I was told by her that her ex used to call her mobile and also her home during the entire summer. Anyway, I just get over it and I did not meet her or message her for a month and I did not receive any from her either. When we get back to our place after summer I was quite shocked to see her stay with this guy at another place. I thought we were done and was moving on when she meets me at my workplace and tells me that she still likes me and would like to be with me after a few days when she moves out to another city. I give her yet another chance to prove herself, now she doesn't answer my messages, emails or calls and says that whenever I message her, the guy would read it and ask her if she was seeing me, so she tries to message/email/call me whenever he's not around. The best part is she does whatever this guy asks her because the last time we met, a week ago at our friends place, this guy asks her to leave the room when I walk in and she listens to him! I don't understand what's going on.

I just begin to wonder... Does this happen in a relationship? Is something wrong with me to think that I want her to spend time with me? I can't even think of any other girl and wanted to hang out with her and I did not cheat on her. I changed my habits, likes and dislikes so that I could accommodate her in my life without any difficulty. I guess I have been a little old fashioned but I am totally confused with myself and starting to doubt if I could ever do justice to another girl if I end up breaking up with this girl. Are all relationships like this ? Are all girls like this ? I am starting to pity myself. WOW.
Please give me an advice as I have not been in a relationship before.

Sorry dude, but you have never been in a relationship with her and its rather obvious she doesn't care about you at all. Oh she may say words that give you hope, but her words and actions don't match do they? That's what the confusion is all about. If you were not so blinded by your own feelings, then you would disappear from her life get your dignity, and self respect back, and be her personal fool no longer. Bet that's what your real friends have told you already.

She is a liar, probably about everything she ever said to you.

Sorry man, if she really cared about you she would not even bother with that guy. Not all relationships are like that most have their ups and downs but are not like what your going through. In all respect I wouldn't even bother with her if she would treat you like that. My advice to you is to just stay away from anything like that it's just going to hurt you the longer you stay with it. I don't know if this will exactly help you or not I'm just saying what I would do if I was put in your position.

I'm sorry to tell you this but it seems you mean nothing to her, if you did she never would have talked to her abusive ex, much less sleep with him. You shouldn't have changed (completely )your habits, likes and dislikes for her, especially after how she treated you. This can't be counted as a down in a relationship because you 2 never had one and "down" has a different definition. You should move on with you life. If she by any chance wants to be with you ONLY she will have to change a lot of things and prove it to you. Good luck.

p.s. Answer my question please! :) https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/what-does-mean-547442.html

Thanks a lot for the answers.