After my ex took off to Ohio with the child for 4 years without a word, she decided to reside in New Castle, Pa. to finally let me spend some time with her. Even though the mother put "father unknown" on the birth certificate, I have always treated her as my child.(Paternity has yet to be established) The mother got a job at a gas station part-time. I made plans with her to take the child to meet my parents since they hadn't met her yet and the child was 7 yrs old. We were scheduled to leave July 11th, 2006 and she called on July 2nd stating that her family in Akron was having a family reunion on the 4th and she'd be back with the child on the 5th of July. The 11th came & went with no return and no calls. I went to her work and asked them to deliver a message to call me and her employer told me that she asked for over $50 of food because she had nothing in the home, and she would pay back out of her next pay, but she never returned to work. After driving to her Apartment in Pa 3 weeks in a row to check for her return, We realized she was not coming back. She abandoned her Apartment with all belongings. Then in September of 2006 when the new school year was about to start she called asking us to pick the child up in Akron and bring her to school in New Castle Pa. We told her no because it was illegal to do so, and then had no contact from her for over a year. And now she denies even asking us to do it. She has since then moved at least 10 times that I know of, forcing the child to go from school to school all over Ohio and now the child is 11 and only in 4th grade. She has ADD and is not on any meds or counseling that I know of, and now the mother says she wants me to sign the birth cetificate so her daughter won't be left out of my military life insurance policy if I die. After telling her she had to get court ordered DNA test before I would agree to sign, she got irrate and is now threatening to get support from me after paternity is established. She has openly lied to my family repeatedly about visiting with the child, and even after sending us emails with physical threats to my wife and stating that she will take me for whatever she can so she doesn't have to work anymore, she sends returned messages that her motives are not money related and I am a deadbeat father and should just do it because I "know" she is my child. I believe the mother may have psychological issues, and be too unstable to care for the child. I fear for the child's future due to the mothers behavior and illegal tendencies and want to take custody if I can. What type of evidence will I need to prove she is unfit?

A lot of this is unnecessary info.

Without a Court Order concerning visitation/custody (and I assume you are paying support) the mother has control of the child. If you believe the mother is a DANGER to the child (emotionally or mentally), then get paternity established NOW (through DNA) and file for custody in Court. Ask the Court to appoint a legal guardian for the child. All parties will be interviewed and a recommendation in the best interest of the child will be made.

As far as whatever she's threatening financially, the Court will determine the amount of support by State law.

If she is sending physical threats, call the Police. Be sure you have documentation.

Why has it taken you so long to establish paternity AND visitation/custody?

You keep posting variations of this same question in different threads - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/do-permission-mother-give-up-rights-child-546138.html#post2676530. I thought you wanted to "give up rights" to this child?

She didn't even tell me the child was born until she was 1 1/2 yrs old, then blamed me for never seeing her. I asked her if she wanted me to sign Birth Certificate and get DNA so I could help with support and she told me she didn't want support.

Then when child was 3 my wife & I got her for a weekend, then she took off for 4 years. Then again blamed me for not trying to find her. Even though she moved with no warning & changed her phone number & didn't contact us for 4 yrs. I was blamed

I included the " unnecessary info" as you called it because My situation is important to the safety and care of my child & I feel its needed to express the seriousness of the situation. Your answer has NOTHING to do with my Question.

And in the question I stated that she constantly moves and changes numbers. And in order to get a court ordered DNA you need a reliable address and number for each parent. Her address would change from month to month and phone number week to week.

First don't use the comment feature, since obviously it does not allow you enough space.
Please answer your own question to add more info.

Again, it does not matter if she waited 10 years to tell you, and it does not matter what your ex blames you for, or what you ex think, or even if your ex does think,

What matters is what you have done. And have not done. Up to this point.

First to be a unfit mother, you have to have solid evidence the mother is a danger to the child. You have not even showed her a bad mother with anything you have written, you have shown her hateful, and being bad and threatening you. But what has she done to harm the child, physical harm, list of hosptial visits ? Going hungry, being locked in room , what.

Also in all of this, you have done NOTHING< at least nothing right,

When did you file in court for court ordered visits.
When did you file in court for a DNA test ?

And while it may have sounded like a threat, but yes, once you do a DNA test and get visits you will be paying child support, so if she is saying that, it is not a threat, it is just the fact.

So if you have info as to the child in real danger, call children services and give them exact info as to that danger.

If you are trying to take the cild away because you don't want to pay support, after you found out you can not give up your rights, that is just wrong.

First of all, I DO NOT want to give up my rights! I was only examining my options and asking the question. Second, ALL my questions and comments have stated that the mother has moved constantly and made it difficult for me to see the child, therefore I was not able to file for DNA or paternity. My wife even looked online to see if Ohio welfare dpt. Would help us track her down when she took off and because I wasn't the father legally I had NO WAY of finding until she wanted to be found. I wanted DNA and support done when she first contacted me about the child when she was 1 1/2 yrs old and she told me she did NOT want child support or DNA done, only wanted me to be a part of the child's life. Then she has done nothing but made it vertually impossible for me to spend any time with the child. She got DNA done for the other man she was cheating on me with when the baby was first born, then when she finally contacted me 1 1/2 yr later did not want me to. I have repeatedly told her to let me know if the child needs anything when I am able to contact her but she says nothing until she pays for it all then complains to me that I don't help. How do I know she needs shoes or clothes or if the mom needs help with other expenses if she NEVER asks me? She refused DNA testing and refused support, then complains that I don't help, and I treat the children that live with better that our child. I have tried every method of compromise that I know how, and gotten no cooperation from her only accusations and guilt trip attempts. I told her I was more than willing to pay child support if she got DNA done but I will not just send her money every month for a child that is not prooven to be my child. My wife and I have 2 children together and I have a stepson. I treat every child the same and love them equally. And I do not deserve to be assumed as a father who did nothing. How can I be a deadbeat father to the child if I have never been established as her legal father? I have lived in the same zip code for the last 10 years, and she has moved from county to county and state to state but its my fault that I don't see the child enuf or help support her? If she really was so angry with me about NEVER helping and thinks I am such a bad father shouldn't she have gone to file for the DNA test and support years ago? How is this all my fault? And most of you haven't even asnwered my question... I want to know what kind of evidence is needed to prove her unfit? I stated that the mother may have psychologial problems and the child's education is suffering due to untreated ADD. Does that count for nothing? Both my younger children have ADD and are in counseling and Vocational Psych programs to help them in school and are both caught up to their classes. My oldest daughter is 11 and only in 4th grade. Will someone please tell me what I can do to help my child?

Go to Court, get established as the legal father. That's step one. Pay support by Court Order. Request Court ordered visitation.

... You have not even showed her a bad mother with anything you have written, you have shown her hateful, and beng bad and threatening you. But what has she done to harm the child, physical harm, list of hosptial visits ? going hungry, being locked in room , what.
...

Well, it's not much, but there is this:



... She has since then moved atleast 10 times that I know of, forcing the child to go from school to school all over Ohio and now the child is 11 and only in 4th grade. ...


... Then in September of 2006 when the new school year was about to start she called asking us to pick the child up in Akron and bring her to school in New Castle Pa. We told her no because it was illegal to do so, ...

How did you figure it would have been "illegal"?

She lived in Ohio and wanted us to send the child to a school in Pa without her living in Pa. You can't even live in the city and send a child to a township school without paying over $600 for tuition. And we asked her if she was going to let the child stay with us so she could go to school here or pay the tuition and she said no to both and hung up on me because I said I wouldn't do it. She took off to Ohio without any notice left behind all her belongings in the Apartment she abandoned never notified Housing Authority that she was leaving so she still owes them the rent for those months and the child lost all her clothes, toys and personal stuff. All because the mom didn't want to let me take her to meet my parents then blamed me because I wouldn't help get her back to a Pa school without her living with me.

Does anyone know what the Summit County courts consider to be an unfit parent? If I am going to collect eveidence to prove the mother is unfit... Id like to know what to look for. Can anyone answer this question? I've looked on veery legal website I can think of and have found nothing.

There is no list of what is dangerous to a child's wellbeing - it could be alcoholism, drug abuse, fits of rage, anything that is dangerous to a child's physical or emotional wellbeing.

I've seen one Judge look at evidence and declare a person unfit and another Judge look at similar evidence and reach a different conclusion.

A LOT depends on the proof.

My daughter says her mom yells at her to do something then when she does it gets yelled at again and told to do something else... and her mom and grandpa fight frequently, throwing objects and screaming, and she does not want to live there with the fighting. Her mom tells me she will have her call me, then when a week or so goes by, my daughter calls saying her mom said I was supposed to call her and she thinks I am forgetting about her. I post messages on Facebook for my child to say I love and miss her, and her mom won't let her go online to read them. I call or text the mom to contact my daughter, and she'll ignore me for days or weeks at a time. And the mom cancels my plans to see her for a different reason each time, then tells my daughter that I didn't feel like coming and don't care for her. Isn't that considered emotional abuse?

Emotionally abusive? If the child is 100% truthful (and I'm sure you realize that not all children are for one reason or the other) I would say, yes, it's abusive behavior.

Does it rise to the level of the mother losing custody? I don't know.

The Court would "probably" appoint a representative for the child and have all parties involved speak with a social worker or other trained professional. That social worker would make a recommendation to the Court.

My concern here is that if the child tells the Court about her mother's behavior and the Court returns her to the mother, then what happens to the child?

I would consult with a seasoned/experienced family law Attorney.