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View Full Version : Still married, but I want to take my kids out of state.


nosilla86
Jan 21, 2011, 08:21 PM
I'll give a brief(ish) synopsis of my situation.

I'm still legally married to the father of my 2 children, both minors. We split up almost a year ago. Since then, he's been living w/ his parents. He's been fired twice from 2 separate jobs. He is currently unemployed.

I lived with a friend for several months before moving to MO (from AR) with my boyfriend (ex has also been seeing other people). I have been unable to find work, due to moving around and, when I WAS in MO for several months, could find nothing.

Lately we'd been driving the kids back and forth every couple of months. 2 months with me in MO, 2 months with him in AR. This was done for roughly 8 months last year.

This January is the start of my time. I went to pick up my kids tonight, as had been planned, and he won't let me take them ANYWHERE. All he will allow is me seeing them at his parents.

Like I said, we're legally married, not separated. I called the police, who explained that they could do nothing without a court order.

My question is, who will be favored? The 'Tender Years' (they're 4 and 2) bit is null these days, so mothers are no longer guaranteed custody. I just want to know what the most likely outcome will be, and what steps I need to take.

GV70
Jan 22, 2011, 04:37 AM
Lately we'd been driving the kids back and forth every couple of months. 2 months with me in MO, 2 months with him in AR. This was done for roughly 8 months last year.
Thus your "home state" is Arkansas.


... he won't let me take them ANYWHERE. Like I said, we're legally married, not separated. I called the police, who explained that they could do nothing without a court order.
Correct ! Sometimes the Police cannot enforce even court ordered visitation.





My question is, who will be favored? The 'Tender Years' (they're 4 and 2) bit is null these days, so mothers are no longer guaranteed custody. I just want to know what the most likely outcome will be, and what steps I need to take.
1. File for divorce.
Ask to be designated as the primary custodian of the children.

What the most likely outcome will be... who knows;)
A judge may decide that the mothers have more presumptive superior rights to their children than the fathers.
A judge may decide that a mother who left the state with her boyfriend does not deserve to be the primary custodian:)

GV70
Jan 22, 2011, 04:44 AM
Nowadays the judges have so broad discretion...
Generally the judges have to look at:
1. The wishes of the child's parent or parents as to custody.

2. The wishes of the child as to the custodian.

3. The interaction and interrelationship of the child with the child's parent or parents, the child's siblings and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interest.

4. The child's adjustment to home, school and community.

5. The mental and physical health of all individuals involved.

6. Which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent and meaningful continuing contact with the other parent. This paragraph does not apply if the court determines that a parent is acting in good faith to protect the child from witnessing an act of domestic violence or being a victim of domestic violence or child abuse.

7. Whether one parent, both parents or neither parent has provided primary care of the child.