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View Full Version : He said he needed time, now its something different?


khloe92
Jan 20, 2011, 11:10 PM
So my boyfriend and I have been together for a while, everything was going great, we spend all the time we can together and are very close, up until yesterday. He came over to my house yesterday morning and we were talking about something's and he explained to me that he needed "time". I assumed that he was completely sure about us and our relationship I never thought he would ever have any doubts about it. I didn't quite understand what he meant by he said that he needed some time. All he said is that he needed some time to think about something's. I was devastated and I'm not going to lie, I cried and demanded to know why. But, he never gave me an answer. I asked him to leave because I was in tears, so he did. I left him alone all day until he called me some hours later, asking if would go to the mall with him and his brother and that he needed to talk to me after. I went with him and pretended that nothing was wrong but stayed somewhat distant from him. He talked to me after while we were at his house and explained that he had thought about something's and realized that he didn't need any more time to think and that he loved me and would never hurt me again. He explained many positive things to me and he seemed very truthful. He was repeatedly apologizing to me for hurting me hours before and swore he would never do it again. He explained that I was the best girlfriend ever and that he appreciated me, then he told me he wants to marry me in the near future.

I love him very much, and I do see us possibly sharing a future together. But now I am very scared, my guard has been up and I don't think it is going to be set down for a very long time. I keep thinking that hell begin to have doubts again and put me on hold again. Can someone give me advice on what he could have possibly been thinking and how I can deal with these thoughts?

talaniman
Jan 21, 2011, 12:01 AM
You really have to explain to me why you never asked him for a detailed explanation and why didn't you just push for an answer from him. Now you come here asking strangers what he is thinking? Come on, sit the guy down and get some answers from him. Find out what the freak he was talking about.

hidden123
Jan 21, 2011, 09:30 AM
I totally agree with Talaniman - If you plan on possibly sharing your future with him - you should be able to speak openly. Anything you would hear from people here would be just guesses.. I wouldn't freak out if I were you - just talk to him openly..

answerme_tender
Jan 21, 2011, 10:00 AM
You need to ask him to explain. Sometime people just like to make sure they are in control of the relationship. Which he just did!! He got a reaction out of you. You were devastated, and now he has you on guard on what you say or do. Some use the jealous method, others the "I need time" method, etc...

If he cannot give you a good enough reason as to why he put you through that emotional turmoil, I would take a step back and make sure this is the type of person you want to be involved with. NO ONE should have to feel they have total control over us. Take care.

talaniman
Jan 21, 2011, 12:33 PM
ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to answerme_tender again.

I am with you I would never have left him without an explanation for his action, and would have had to think long, and hard whether it was good enough. If it sounded like BS from the beginning his butt would be alone at the curb.