Hi My name is Thomas and I'm live in Singapore right now.Actually my english is not good enough to express my situation,but guys please try to understand my feeling and give me advices.Its all started from the high school.When I was in high school, I was around 16 years old at that time.I acted like crown in my class , I try to live in happy way ,support my buddies whenever or whatever they need me.I did not interest about love or anythings.I try my best in study also.I saw so many pretty girls before but one day when I saw her, I felt like I have been with her before.Like we have been met each other before and I started fall in love with her at the first seen.Later ,I got her and we been relationships for three years.I always faithful to her , never lied her, never beat her and treat her nice with my power,life,energy,time ,career and money.For examples... Sometimes she called me in the morning like 3 or 4 am.But I went there ,stand in her street, looked up and then she was in the buildings that she can't come down and see me because of her parents. But I say its okay, I'm here'' and she pleased. We talked each other with phone for a long time and I went back home.I remembered the time when moon cake festival celebrated in 2009, she told me not to go any where at that night.I promised her.Later my parents say... come son '' lets go to pagoda with family together '' its like church thing on X'mas eve u know. But when she know about this thing she was so angry and say ''u must begging me for this thing''.I try to explain to her but she never listen so I was like okay I just go in front of her house kneeling on the street as she say where coffe shops and restaurants are in the street also.People saw me . After that she smiled and'' okay I forgive you''. I felt nothing like unbalanced as long as she love me.She gave me ridiculous job for every times . Like she tuition in down town and got 15mins break.Ask me to go and buy fried rice from the up town.Its like 30mins journey have to be end with 10mins. I drove my best at there and get for her.Sometimes I go her tuition to meet her and I was nearly bit by dogs.I fought with 9mens by one because of her and try to protect her,at that time also the guys drunk and my gangs are not with me. When she didn't well and caught cold, I go in front of her house even its raining or whatever I phoned her until she sleep and relax. I gave her surprised every times and I dun care about the prices because I love her.. If she liked sushi,I took her every japanese hotel's restaurantes in the city.There are so many things that I did for her. I try to be a men and strong men that has abilities to take care of family.at the end of 2009 , my parents suggested me to go to UK and study.I got Visa and already applied for colleague with $10000. But she told me that '' please dun go and follow me to Singapore,I loved u so much'''. In my life I broke my parents heart for the first time.I especially feeling sad for my mom.Later my parents didn't say anythings more and they say '' my son u chose this way so u have to try your best ''. So I rejected every things to go UK and we both came Singapore. We lived at Student Hostel at that time. In the first two weeks , I got illness and lied on the bed. She lived upstairs and never came downstaris to look me .I got lots of friends and my father business mates in Singapore. They called me , I remembered the date and the time,its was 2010 June 16, 5:15pm. They told me that they saw my girl friend with another guys and they been acting more than friends.I got shocked and '' how could this thing happened in two weeks. I waited for her at that night until 12:30 am midnight. When she came back , I asked her and she say yes that's correct '' I have boy friend right now'''. I'm so angry and punched the tree because I dun want to do her anythings.My right thumb broke :( . But I still her loved her and forgive whatever she did.Even she want to cooked chicken curry for that boy , I bought the things from the market with her. Send her to that house cooked and serve to them.Guys think that how was my face look? There is also some cases that she slapped my face for tuned another girls guitar.And my gang without telling me and beat that boy for being rude to me.He cried and phoned to my girl friend.I was begging her at that time also. 4months later I can't hold this thing any much longer so I stopped called her and went back to my country for one month. When I came back , she tried to talk to me and say she's not break up with that guy. So I trusted her and we been happily ever after again until 2010 Dec. Dec 21, in the morning I went to airport and pick up my parents for tourism the Singapore. She say like ''okay honey go and live with your family . Take care of them and she kissed me like normally ''. In the evening she stopped calling me and dumped me. I dun know why so I go her work place and wait for the time that she finished . When I saw her I say ''why baby.. give me reasons... I dun even understand for hope to see things going on like this''. I dun want to disturb her so I dun even pulled her hands just talk nicely . Guys do u know what did she do at that time, she called police and report me that I was try to rape her some time or annoying her. I told police in the middle of the Orchard road;the main most populated and developed part of Singapore). And then she called another guy that I never saw before and went with him. I explained police officers nicely and simply .They say ''' boy be a men, just go hangging around with friends drink and happy dun depress''... Now she's with that guy . I miss her so much love her so much. One months ago my parents say '' we let u couple marry one day my son but now u need to go back UK and study.U can called her with u to go after one year later.I'm really happy at that time and asked her nicely .She said I can't live without you. I enjoyed to hear about that.But one month before I go,I was really stress full .I stand beside her when she depressed , even talk bad things to my parents for without any reasons , I cover her but when the time I need help she didn't stand beside me. Tomorrow 20 I will go back to my country and I still think about that I will never come back to Singapore.But from my heart I still love fer faithful to her and still want to beside her... what do I have to do right now... Now I was 19 nearly 20 !

I couldn't read the whole story and it wasn't necessary after a while - it's all the same.
No one really likes someone whom they can walk all over, no matter how many times they stomp on you. She really was testing your limits, and deep down wanted you to say no, you won't do this ridiculous errand, and you won't do every little thing she demands, you wouldn't follow her everywhere. But you just kept doing it, which isn't being a man at all. It isn't being a PERSON, man or woman. You need a mind of you own and a sense of self worth.
'Nearly 20' is still very young, and you will meet lots of new people, and find a good woman. Concentrate on your studies and someone in your field may catch your eye.

Its not the thing the I demand on her and follow whatever she say.Its not the reasons that she left me.I always tell her not even as a lover but also as a brother.Sometime I guided her how to live in better gentleman way. But she didn't listen.I told her if you stay like that you going to have a problem. As I say when she engaged the problems , she always say that you stay beside me so please I will not make wrong decision again. That's the way I maintain her characteristics in these past years. She became better and better. But the problems is to be truth as a man , first thing I haven't never been sex with her. She didn't allow me .I dun want to force or want to posses her body. I just want to love her.Come on as a men how can you stand with girl being simple for three years.I slept with her,eat with her, living together with her.Sometimes I want to do and ask ,she tole me that can't . So its nvm okay.But she doubt that one . That's the first thing.Second she changed her work last month.At that time I can't go and pick her up from the work.She feels lonely that I didn't love her or care her anymore. For me come on as a man.I'm also human being . I need back up also. But she dun give the same thing that I gave to her. Third She didn't like my career . Now I'm studying about Medical Degree.But she can't follow me so she say like we can't be together. Whatever I ask her why do you love me,she say because you care about me. For me no reasons . Love can't rely on reasons. If there is ,is not love any more its more ''LIKE''. From now on I need to know is'''' Can I have a chance again and did she still childish forever or when she's going to change '''' ?

Just look at my answer I can't fill up all the things on comment box . Thanks ! :)

You have been obsessed with this girl. She wants only what you can give to her, but will not give to you. She wants everything, and will give you nothing. The love goes only one way, from you to her.

Now it's time to stop being a person with no mind and will of his own. It is time to grow up and be a man who is in charge of his life. Study hard in school, and make your parents proud of you.

Thomas,

Unfortunately this woman has decided that she is NOT IN LOVE with you and has moved on. Most of us have been exactly where you are right now. I know your wonderig what happen and there really isn't any answer good enough to take away the hurt that your going through.

I will say this, when someone loves you they hopefully would never put you in a compromising position as to lose your job just to go get them some fried rice, or have you lose the means of obtaining a great education by having you give up studying in UK and also losing your family's respect for chasing her to Singapore instead of obtaining that education. This young lady didn't even care enough about the relationship to see what you was giving up for her.

Thinking that you can change someone is never going to happen. I understand you loved her,but bottom line is she didn't love you back the same way.

Its time to get on with you life. Perhaps get away from Singapore. Someone like her will only continue to use others for her own gratification, without ever truly caring for another. I feel sorry for the guy that gets stuck with her as a wife, I wonder if she will expect him to cook,clean,take care of child,take care of her, and work a job!!


Life's lesson are sometime very hard to learn, but once learn we tend not repeat the same mistake. I will say this, don't take this pain out on the next woman in your life. Your future woman had nothing to do with this very selfish person.
Good luck

I didn't say you made demands on her, she made demands on you.
You just aren't getting it. Reasons for love, no reasons for love, different jobs and careers, different cities or countries - none of that is important. She is USING you for the sole reason that you are in love with her. She even told you that, except she didn't say USE, she said love. That isn't love. Love is mutual, 2 people feel the same respect and admiration and tenderness and intimacy. One way love is infatuation.

Harshness warning


Everyone you know has told you to be a man. You don't listen. No man in his right mind would give up his dignity and self respect for a female that not only doesn't deserve the attention you give her, but doesn't appreciate it at all.

You have allowed her to treat you like a stupid punk, and that needs to stop.

Just be a man and tell her that her good thing is gone, and never talk to her again, or allow her to talk to you. That's what a man would do!! What will you do?

She may NEVER change, but you can. Just man up, and do what you have to do. Make your parents proud, instead of ashamed.

She needs a real man to make her change, and sorry, you just ain't it.