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View Full Version : Is it right to be bringing up the past?


drewaa617
Jan 18, 2011, 09:38 PM
I cheated on my girl friend like 6 times during our 2 years together. She decided to give me another chance. I regret it with all my heart. Now we keep fighting and even though she knows I won't do her wrong again she still brings up the past out of the blue often. I get mad when she brings it up out of no where. We can be good at a Celtic game and the next thing you know she gets angry because she thinks about the cheating. Do I have a right to be upset?? Im trying to be the best boyfriends possible.

Alty
Jan 18, 2011, 09:44 PM
Here's the issue, she doesn't completely trust you, and she has very good reasons for that. She may want to be with you, but she can't forget what you did. It's not like you cheated one time. You cheated 6 times. Frankly I'm surprised that she even gave you another chance.

If she needs to gripe about your past every once in a while, so be it. It will take time for her to forget, and to trust you. You haven't earned that trust, in fact, you destroyed it. It will take time for her to completely trust you again, if she ever does.

If you're serious about her than suggest counseling. She needs to get her feelings out so she can deal with them and figure out where she wants to go from here, whether she can trust you enough to have a relationship with you and forget the past, or if she can't let go and therefore needs to let you go.

talaniman
Jan 19, 2011, 07:41 AM
Harshness warning



No you have no right to be upset, and you have absolutely no right to even think she trust you like she did before. You do have a right to address her feelings, and reassure her when she gets upset, probably every time you leave the house without her.

It takes a lot of selfish gall to expect her not to be affected by your cheating, and forget about what you put her through. Keep with that attitude, and the trust will never be rebuilt, nor will you both move forward. To ignore her concerns, and not understand the why of her actions, because of YOUR actions is unreal, and selfish, and like taking a bat upside her head and being mad she has a headache.

You better check yourself, because if you are not willing to pay the consequences of your actions, then you surely will never be willing to make amends, and rebuild the trust you so callously ripped apart, and seem so unwilling to fix.

You can do better than wallow in your own crap my friend, because it was you who did the hurting, and its you who must help the healing.

Put away your selfish annoyance, and replace it with some patient understanding, or you don't stand a chance. What you think she was just going to forget everything and kiss your butt?? Sorry, it doesn't work that way.

answerme_tender
Jan 19, 2011, 08:19 AM
To be blunt, I don't see her ever fully forgiving you and moving past 6 time you have cheated on her. For one thing obviously you are prime example that if cheats once will again!!

You need to take this time and find out why you feel it was okay to cheat on your girlfriend 6 different times. Perhaps you need to go and get some counseling on your own. That way you can learn that killing someone's trust in you is not only annoying for you, but absolutely devastating to the person you cheat on!!
She isn't married to you, if she is smart she will kick you to curb, and find a man that not only knows how to say loyalty but really understands the meaning.

kaka67
Jan 20, 2011, 01:55 PM
I cheated on my girl friend like 6 times during our 2 years together. She decided to give me another chance. I regret it with all my heart. Now we keep fighting and even though she knows I wont do her wrong again she still brings up the past out of the blue often. I get mad when she brings it up out of no where. We can be good at a Celtic game and the next thing you know she gets angry because she thinks about the cheating. Do I have a right to be upset??????? Im trying to be the best boyfriends possible.

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again

Wow its all about you isn't it?

The best thing that could happen is she dumps your sorry *** on the side walk and gets someone who isn't so self centred.

Either you both get some help dealing with the mess YOU made or you separate.

Does she actually know it was 6 times or does she think it was just one "mistake"??