Hello s:

You can't GET him to do anything... He IS who he IS. You took him that way. Don't try to change him.

Oh, I'm into swinging, don't get me wrong. I want to screw as many women as I can..

excon

Well He does talk about other women, but I don't want him to know I've been meeting other guys for sex. I just want lots of sex, I DO love him, and he wants to try kinky stuff

You can't get him to be open to it, you just have to ask him about it and if he isn't open to it then you will not change him!

Well He does talk about other women, but I don't want him to know I've been meeting other guys for sex. I just want lots of sex, I DO love him, and he wants to try kinky stuff

So let me see if I've got this right?

You've been cheating on him with other guys and to make it better (or rather so he can't complain) you want him to get into swinging and having sex with other people?

I don't want him to know I've been meeting other guys for sex.

So you are just asking for ways for him to approve of your cheating?

ssfeathers, how old are both of you?

I think you need to talk to your husband and be honest with him. You seem to have no problem telling other people to invite others into their 'issues'/bed. Perhaps, you should take your own advice.

If you are open to other advice, perhaps, you should look at what you seem to think is missing in your relationship that has you seeking sexual fulfillment in places other than your own marriage. I think you are already aware/afraid that there are some things he prefers to keep as fantasy and 'swinging' may be one of them. If he isn't willing to play the game you want him to, what do you plan to do?

Understand that I have nothing against 'swingers' and those who are into threesomes or for whom polyamory works. As long as it is discussed and boundaries are agreed on by the couple BEFORE anything physical happens. I do have a major problem with people cheating and then trying to excuse it by saying 'I love X, but I want lots of sex'. IF your needs are not being met, it is up to you to communicate with your partner and try to fix the problem. If that can't be done, then it is up to you to decide if those needs are more important than your relationship. If they are, then you get out and move on. You do not cheat and then dig a deeper hole to cover it up.

I DO love him,

Here... let me finish the rest of your sentence of what you should have said.

I DO love him, but DON'T respect him!

I'm sorry, I'm old fashioned, because I thought that if you love someone, you DON'T hurt, lie, or cheat on them. What do I know though, I'm just a stupid woman with stupid morals.

Just tell him how great your experience is with other guys and he may be willing to get with other women. The honest straight approach.